Brooke Hogan is wisely distancing herself from the PR landmine that is her bleached family. She sat down for an interview in the latest issue of Us Weekly where she talked about no longer speaking to her mom Linda who’s dating a 19-year-old. But Brooke still thinks highly of Hulk and defended him for putting lotion on her bikini ass. However, she remained mum on the moustache buffering that followed:
“I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like he’s touching an old car,” the singer tells Us Weekly. “He used to change my diaper!”
So that’s it, huh? That’s the secret: changing diapers. Once you change those you have unfettered access to a woman’s nether-regions… Of course! First things first: I need a time machine. Geekologist, stop slathering yourself in fondant and get cracking. In the meantime, I’m going to look up the birth dates of every hot chick I can think of. Anyone know the real names of the Golden Girls?
Dave | June 25, 2008 at 1:24 pm
what cha gonna do when my son drives a car into you! First to all you hulkamaniacs
kat | June 25, 2008 at 1:26 pm
dave, you are #1 douche knuckle. grow the fuck up, please. thanks.
and for all the Hogans – go to hell you creepy assholes. i would NEVER let my dad touch my ass like that.
bah | June 25, 2008 at 1:30 pm
is it like an old car in the sense that he rides it every night?
wrestlers breed winners, who knew
Plobes | June 25, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Betty White and Estelle Getty
if you go back to 1913, they should be SUPER HOTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
mike | June 25, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Sure, it’s like touching an old car – in Frist’s case.
veggi | June 25, 2008 at 1:35 pm
She also said she put Courtney Love in touch with John Graziano’s family because he’s become a big fan of Hole.
Cindy | June 25, 2008 at 1:38 pm
She trusted Hulk to put on the lotion because he wouldn’t freak when he reached places where her testicles were hanging out.
Ang | June 25, 2008 at 1:40 pm
They always leave out the last picture, where he’s done putting on the lotion and his wristwatch is missing.
HeidiHo | June 25, 2008 at 1:45 pm
#7 LOL
#6 Somehow even for this site, I think your comments went over the edge and into the proverbial ditch.
p0nk | June 25, 2008 at 1:47 pm
like an old car, with that musty backseat sex smell of hulkster’s man-juice and ArmorAll.
JWM | June 25, 2008 at 1:50 pm
….holy shit…
First, the story is fucking sick. If I saw my dad touching my (hypothetical) sister like that, I’d call the cops.
Second, #6, veggi — come on. That’s not funny at all and you know it. The dude is going to either linger as a vegetable for the rest of his natural life, or die much sooner than he should. Berating the Hogans = Good. Making fun of a tragic thing like that kid is going through = Bad.
MR | June 25, 2008 at 1:51 pm
You americans are sick fucks. Not everyone who cares about their children are phedofiles that fucks their of daughters. He is her father and normal parents dont think about their children in a sexual way. Amazingly stupid americans as usual…
veggi | June 25, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Yeah, that wasn’t me..
FRIST!!! | June 25, 2008 at 1:53 pm
They left out the part where Brooke revealed that she gave John Graziano a blowjob in the hospital room because her dad always told her to eat her vegetables.
martygras9 | June 25, 2008 at 1:56 pm
oh, frist…wrong…so wrong.
sameshitdifferentyear | June 25, 2008 at 1:57 pm
“…it’s like he’s touching an old car…”
Hulk Hogan (Terry) has sex with old cars??
wally | June 25, 2008 at 1:58 pm
9 & 11, i hope you realize that #6 is a troll, furiously masturbating in the basement because he now got his revenge on the internet women that keep scorning his advances. yeh he’s a sick fuck like that, and every time you react to his game, it just emboldens him.
veggi | June 25, 2008 at 1:58 pm
and that’s not FRIST!!!
jackass.. It really isn’t funny..
p0nk | June 25, 2008 at 2:00 pm
troll, the graziano joke wasn’t funny the first several hundred times you used it, stop trying to attribute it to the women who’ve scorned your advances.
molly | June 25, 2008 at 2:01 pm
are the superficial writer & geekology writer really the same person?
p.s. MR, go fuck yourself. And please brush your teeth more than once a week.
gb | June 25, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I am more interested in who the ass in the front of the photo belongs to then what the dysfunctional family in the background is doing. Am I the only one? Has no one else noticed that shapely bum?
Que | June 25, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Que Amazon!
Deacon Jones | June 25, 2008 at 2:12 pm
This story wouldnt have legs if he was dating her fucking clone
Deacon Jones | June 25, 2008 at 2:13 pm
This story wouldnt have legs if he wasn’t dating her fucking clone
mike | June 25, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Like an old car, huh? I got something I’d like to put in the trunk!! ;)
IgottabeMeee | June 25, 2008 at 2:13 pm
With those orangutan arms, you’d think she could reach around and grease herself up.
Mike Hawk | June 25, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I wonder if he checked the oil? Gave it a tune up? Rotated the tires? Replaced the muffler? Overhauled the chassis? Lube oil filter? Serviced the Trannie? Took it out for a spin? Burned rubber? Checked the headlamps? A ten point inspection? Waxed the finish?
brevity guy | June 25, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I used to have an old car.
If I ever saw someone touching it like that, I’d call the cops.
Also, I have never seen anyone concentrate as hard as Hulk is concentrating. I mean, he is really concentrating. Like some sort of super concentration that regular people can’t master.
juju | June 25, 2008 at 2:42 pm
What’s with all the geekologie plugs. It’s really getting old now.
Uh | June 25, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I’m going straight to hell for laughing at #14. Thanks a lot.
sportsdvl | June 25, 2008 at 3:31 pm
So we know #12 is a pedophile! And, dear #12 – it is not just us “Americans” who think touching your children inappropriately is not right – it is the WHOLE WORLD you sick fuck.
Oh, #1 you almost made it through a post but you had to go and get excited about being first thus you are a douche.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | June 25, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Old cars need a lot of lube too… I’m just sayin’…
SigmundFuckingFreud | June 25, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Quit your bitching. I put lotion on my 19 year old sis in a bikini all the time (I am 24). Half the time I think LA LA LA, the other half of the time I think wow my sis has a great butt. The end.
Jesus you guys need to get laid more often. Everything is not about fucking.
carolina | June 25, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Oh my gosh! For people that call Cameron Diaz and the like old and geriatric one would think those same people would get a laf outta veggis post. So fukin super sensitive are you hypocrites. I say bring on the ‘just wrong humor’ veggis blessed us with cuz the other kind is yawn and dumb! Hi Jimbo, Veggi? R u hung more than Jimbo? I LOVE a guy w a REAL sence of humor!
kate | June 25, 2008 at 5:22 pm
#12 Last time I read the news, Europe has some pretty sick fucks in it. I mean last time I checked national news there were stories of people locked in basements being, raped, beaten, and eaten. But whatever. For some, putting lotion on your grown daughter’s ass is weird and for some it isn’t, I think the real question is “Why couldn’t she have done it herself?” i mean it’s not like it would of taken much effort for her to put it on her own bum. I just know most people I see applying lotion at the pools and beaches do it themselves, except on their backs where they can’t reach well, but the butt area is totally within reach.
kate | June 25, 2008 at 5:22 pm
#12 Last time I read the news, Europe has some pretty sick fucks in it too. I mean last time I checked national news there were stories of people locked in basements being, raped, beaten, and eaten. But whatever. For some, putting lotion on your grown daughter’s ass is weird and for some it isn’t, I think the real question is “Why couldn’t she have done it herself?” i mean it’s not like it would of taken much effort for her to put it on her own bum. I just know most people I see applying lotion at the pools and beaches do it themselves, except on their backs where they can’t reach well, but the butt area is totally within reach.
MR | June 25, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Kate, you dont know what ever reason they had but that still dont make it okey to call him sick of what ever you call him.
We dont have mutch worse then in america. Atleast we dont go around have sick laws so everyone can get hold of a gun anytime..
Also in europe we dont think about our children in that way, atleast not the normal people. You might want to fuck your own child but most of us dont and dont think in a sexual way about them.
Dank | June 25, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Brooke, silly, stupid bleach blond Brooke, its not that you’re a grown woman and he shouldn’t be doing those things anymore, its that you’re his FUCKING DAUGHTER!
don | June 25, 2008 at 7:26 pm
#37 did you know that in the UK for example, they have have a lot of gun crimes yet you can’t just go out and get a gun. can you please explain that sir?
#36 you made some great points.
justifiable | June 25, 2008 at 7:50 pm
#37 That’s the whole point, you blithering fucking idiot, NORMAL PEOPLE don’t generally take an opportunity like this to rub their hands over their grown children’s assets. “Hey, you’re burning, put some lotion on your butt cheeks!” That’s all it takes.
When was the last time you were full out balls naked out of the shower in front of your mother – and she dried you off? Yeah, didn’t think so, douchebag.
#40 | June 25, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Yuck! She’s too old for him to be changing her diaper as well!
Sickening | June 25, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Not that Brooke Hogan’s masculine chin doesn’t disturb me, but if I had a daughter and she was hot I think I’d entertain the thought, probably disgust myself a little, maybe fap to it a little bit, but ultimately never act on it because it would forever ruin the relationship because of societal taboos. Still… I would be like.. wow, this hot little thing came from part of me and part of her mother? She’ll get to have sex with some really hot people and if she’s a lesbian, she could make some insanely hot lesbo porn.
kayla | June 25, 2008 at 8:58 pm
MR # 37 i’m certain people in europe don’t think any differently about their children than people in america (and most of the rest of the word). it’s natural to have a mild amount of sexual thoughts about people in your life, no matter the relation. it’s just socially acceptable to hide it. and for example not put sunscreen on your daughters ass.
Macho Man Randy Savage | June 25, 2008 at 8:59 pm
That’s OK, in a couple more years she’ll be changing HIS diapers. Oh yeah!
Cherry | June 25, 2008 at 9:33 pm
#12 I’m not American and I think that is wierd. It just seems innapropriot for close family members to do that, even if it is just normal and innocent for them.
veggi | June 25, 2008 at 9:46 pm
By the way speaking of ass touching, are there any well hung black dudes on this site that don’t mind a girl with a little cottage on her groove cheese and a little extra podunk in her adunk?
Mandingo | June 25, 2008 at 9:49 pm
@46 Veggi, wussup baby, li’l daddy whitesnake aint itchin da cave walls sour tuna? Send a link an we see if Doc Chocolate can do a little operatin’ on the patient.
Truth doctor | June 25, 2008 at 11:14 pm
There’s a reason it’s called wincest. That’s right.
Peter | June 26, 2008 at 12:12 am
#33 – exactly. Everything isn’t about fucking. Anyone who’s offended here really needs to get their minds out of the gutter and relax.
Hulkamaniac | June 26, 2008 at 1:38 am
Just admit you like it when hulk touches your butt cheeks, brooke.