Brooke Hogan in a bikini is still out there

December 30th, 2009 // 121 Comments

HULK: So, listen, the way I have sex is I hide in the bushes behind my mate’s beach chair then pull her in from behind. So if I accidentally grab you instead of Jennifer, it’s not my fault. I can’t help the way God made me.
BROOKE: That didn’t answer why I have a penis.
HULK: Oh, right. Hulk’s bad.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Dude looks like a lady.

  2. just some guy

    Definitely a dick in those pants.

  3. Freebie48

    I don’t know why everyone knocks her body. I think she looks great.

  4. frankiestage

    She’s too straight up and down, no curves. Chick’s waist to hip ratio is 1:1. Thigh to calf ratio is nearly that as well.

  5. You all can knock her all you want, I agree THAT’S A BIG BITCH. But for the bone structure and thickness God gave her, she’s definitely keeping her ass in shape. She’s a fit girl, so stop acting like she’s not.

  6. pimp

    i’d eat its ass…

  7. I think that’s what we’d call a “skank.”

  8. Kelley

    Brooke “I know I have a beautiful body” Hogan has cankles, thunder-thighs, a man’s face and fake tits. Helloooo ?

  9. brooke

    my tits (and dick) are REAL baby . . .

  10. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  11. cc

    Hi Brooke, it’s me, the St Louis Rams. Our defense has been pretty bad this year and I was wondering…you busy next fall?

  12. juniper

    number 3 its because everyone on the superficial is gay and love barack hussein osama.

  13. terri

    her body is awful and she has an ugly face

  14. Boogeyman King Dong

    Is there one of ma getto bitches on holiday? I didn’t know.

  15. Darth

    #14 It looks pretty luxurious for a 1 star hotel.

  16. shes looking hot

  17. Nero

    @14
    That explains why you were crippled and all those bruises the last time i saw you.

  18. well...

    here’s a thought: if she were not hulk hogan’s daughter, i don’t think anyone would be saying anything bad about her body. yes, she can look like a tranny, and yes her face is a mess, and yes she is more muscular than your average woman. but her body looks good! she is in great shape and toned. better muscular than fat; i would say she is probably pretty healthy. its the thought of hulk hogan that is making people insist she is built like a linebacker; she’s big and strong but she looks good, and if we didn’t know her dad was a professional wrestler, everyone would say she was hot.

  19. Rough night long

    Pah-leasee! Get my greasy paws on that and mold it as if it were play-doh…

  20. IdHitIt

    I wouldn’t blame Hulk for her figure… Have you guys ever looked at her mom?

    I’d still hit it in a second.

  21. AaaaahMineEyes!

    You guys can rip on her looks all you want, because baby girl can definitely sing just like a bir…. oh wait, never mind- scratch that.

    That is one foul brute, who knew they made bikinis in petite Sasquatch sizes?

    Course, now that her acting/singing career is over, she can pursue her career of destiny- Kraken bait.

  22. forfuckssake

    ya know… provided she doesn’t really have a penis under there and just maybe a rather large vagina… I’d hit it and flop around those big ol’ fake titties.

  23. Donnie Brassballs

    Nice tits. I could motorboat my way to an America’s Cup.

  24. FrankinSloth

    the boobs look good… gimme a brown bag and I’ll go to town

  25. who dat

    At one point her father was paying 3 million dollars a year to get her singing gigs at shopping malls and the local bars. How F’n embarrassing. I don’t think she looks hot at all. Thick bottom and that face, nuff said.

  26. AL

    and anorexic chicks look better? What is wrong with our society that a healthy, toned, fit girl is mocked? But anorexic boney ass is hot?

  27. She's a nasty YETI

    She IS a mess; face looks fug, she’s got thunder thighs & cankles, thick middle body and FAKE tits. However, as long as she likes to give blowjobs & fuck, she’ll always have some dude ready to play a game of “hide the submarine” with her…

  28. Fat Chicks Suck

    @26: Since when do people think anorexic chicks are hot? Something is wrong with our society when people think every thin, fit girl is anorexic. The Victoria Secret models/etc that idiots call anorexic aren’t anorexic.

    I’d say considering this chick’s frame size and genetics she doesn’t look too bad. Definitely way too big for my taste…but there’s really not a lot she can do about it so I wouldn’t ever rip on her.

  29. who dat

    She is big and beefy. I prefer men but I would make an exception for this monster.

    She could use a giant strap-on to drill my willing sphincter silly! I would lick that monster dildo clean after she was done while she laughed at my nelly ways.

    Don’t hate. I am gay and proud. Get used to it.

  30. The Truth

    @ 29 who dat

    What’s your fucking problem? Normally, I don’t hate butt pirates you really are a piece of work.

    Take your idiotic weak ass New Orleans Saint sissy war cry name and find some gay chat room. I’m sure you will find some sissy to drill your ass there.

    Fuck you who dat.

  31. Horndog

    Looks real good to me!!!

  32. What is up with this girl? I thought she was yesterday?

  33. gen

    @29

    We know you’re gay. You don’t have to put it in every comment.

  34. Megan Fox's stubby thumbs

    FIRST!!!!

    I would allow her to lick my ass.

  35. Terri Cloth

    Yummy piece of ass.

  36. Looks like her pops if you ask me

  37. who dat

    @ 30 and 33

    Fuck you. I didn’t attack you. where do you homophobes get off attacking me.

    So what if I enjoy posting some comments about the butt activity I love so much?

    Don’t hate. Appreciate!

  38. more sexy pictures click my name directly~~~
    Ok, seriously, for once, she doesn’t look like a man and I have to unfortunately say, with deep regret I might add..I’ll tap that.

    God, I’m going to be sick.

  39. Hmm….I guess my husband likes “fat, cankled, manly” women considerning he just walked by and said her body looked GOOD. #18 said it best. Right on.

  40. Racer X

    I’d hit it like there’s no tomorrow!

  41. in the sack

    thunder thights? fake tits? forget about it. i´d hit that without warning.

  42. Fat Chicks Suck

    @41: Guess so…

  43. Grazie mille! Questo articolo, me lo faccia sapere un sacco di cose che prima non ho capito!

  44. Mike

    She definitely does not belong on the best celebrity bikini body list. http://www.ranker.com/list/top-10-best-bikini-bodies-of-2009-/allie But, if she loses a little weight she might be up there. I bet the Hulk was angry when he saw these pictures all over the web.

  45. Mike

    She definitely does not belong on the best celebrity bikini body list. http://www.ranker.com/list/top-10-best-bikini-bodies-of-2009-/allie But, if she loses a little weight she might be up there. I bet the Hulk was angry when he saw these pictures all over the web.

  46. Aerialgreen

    @20: I’d blame Brooke’s body to BOTH Linda and Hulk Hogan.

    Her mom looks like a block mini-fridge and her dad was heavy on steroids (and hair bleach) when she was conceived,

    Now look at her brother, Nick “should be in jail and castrated” Hogan: he is a midget that can’t quit the gym otherwise he’ll have his mom’s body with his dad’s moustache-less mug.

  47. v tard

    she’s on the thick side for my taste, but overall she ain’t bad lookin’ at all.

  48. Rex

    I would have sex with her, but it would be I am going to treat you like a rich whore sex. Hell I’d even throw a Cleveland steammer in there just for fun. I’ve been drinking a little guys.

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