Brooke Hogan: Embracing the Future

March 16th, 2009 // 190 Comments

Here’s Brooke Hogan performing at the Calle Ocho festival in Miami Sunday. I had no idea she was still pursuing her “music” career let alone landing gigs. Fortunately, she’s significantly tweaked her stage act to resemble Britney Spears’ because, let’s face it, America loves a good “riches to clear stripper heels” story. It’s in the Constitution.

NOTE: These pictures are actually happening.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. wettster

    I reckon she would be an easy f**k. I heard she shapes her lady hairs to resemble her father’s mo’. Pure class.

  2. Dorito Man

    She probably dyes what’s left of her lady business white, like his ‘stache…I’m sure she’ll find some dumbarse to f**k her.

  3. wettster prec

    Dorito Man..

    I’ve got a dumbarse lined up for her – that faggy nancy cockhead Criss Angel. They would make a cute couple don’t you think?

    She’d strap on the machete extender and bang him into next week… dog tags a-jinging.

  4. Dorito Man

    Yeah, that would be a microbial extravaganza.. They could call their union “germing”..

    She does nothing for me. Ab. So. Lute. Ly. Nothing. I’d rather watch Tom Cruise’s Nazi movie for three weeks straight..

  5. wettster prec

    That’s saying a lot cos I know you think very little of Wee Man Cruise.

    Oh look Brooke has a navel piercing as well. Gawd. Could she be any more the typical tart?

    Half of these celebrity broads look the gawd damn same. paris, brooke, heidi, jenna, pammy… eew.

  6. krbcan

    While she is just naturally large and actually has a nice body, she is just too big and bulky to be doing this in public. Good to see that she has a good body image, but we don’t need to see this. She is trying WAY to hard to be sexy.

  7. Dorito Man

    That’s quite a who’s who list you named there.. A surfeit of classlessness..

  8. Danklin24

    Doesnt she smack her penis on the ground when she dances on that pole?

  9. sin

    I see CANKLES!! She is going to be a hefer in just a few years. Add that to her man chin and the genetics she got from her dad, and this girls future sucks. A 300 pound never was whining about how the “industry” mislead her and used her. She really only has two choices. 1. Get married to a person who has no connections to entertainment and fade away, or 2. Join the WWE or TNA wrestling circuit and take advantage of her size and last name.

    Oh, and we hope your dad stops fucking her from behind and saying he thought it was his girlfriend he was doing. For the 3rd time in a row. With Nick watching and jacking off in the corner.
    Sick ass family. They make the Osbournes seem normal.

  10. there goes my lunch….eugh. grosss

  11. All I can say is. Bleughh

  12. g_girl

    This is the most disgusting post of all time.

  13. gabriel carrillo

    hey brooke if you want to get famas come to meet me, you hun gabriel you are nice and i hope not one scrwe you caree how you father is falling now.

  14. gabriel carrillo

    hey brooke if you want to get famas come to meet me, you hun gabriel you are nice and i hope not one scrwe you caree how you father is falling now.

  15. Y'all Are Jealous Bitches

    My God, will you people please let Hulk Hogan’s son live his life? If he wants to be a pole dancer, he can make a wonderful career out of …

    Wait … that’s not his son?

    *urk*

    I just got a hankering for some ham hocks….

  16. sin

    Can you imagine someone licking that pussy and having her close those legs on you? Your head would pop like a pimple.

  17. Amy

    What
    Tha
    Fackkk.

  18. James Gardner

    There is a fine line between trashy and sexy, in this case it doesn’t even matter because she was nowhere near the sexy line. Maybe at home alone (if you happen to have a stripper pole handy) but I guess it has us talking so she probably got the exact outcome she had intended.

  19. liz4sale

    i just have to say that first pic with her legs open as wide as her muscles and bones could possibly stand, is one of the most unattractive things ive seen in awhile. its not that shes ugly its just skanky. very very skanky. also she is very manly.

  20. liz4sale

    i just have to say that first pic with her legs open as wide as her muscles and bones could possibly stand, is one of the most unattractive things ive seen in awhile. its not that shes ugly its just skanky. very very skanky. also she is very manly.

  21. Josette

    thats not brooke, thats hulk hogan’s new gf

  22. Richard Milhaus Narlian

    Are it your contention give shit about this skank off?
    Rolling Stone sure has diminshed itself sinced Ralph J.Gleason was at the helm.

  23. Richard Milhaus Narlian

    Are it your contention give shit about this skank off?
    Rolling Stone sure has diminshed itself sinced Ralph J.Gleason was at the helm.

  24. she looks like her mom there.

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  26. # 3, 4, 5, 7, 8 LMBAO I was thinking the same thing.

  27. oldcowboy

    Her beauty lies between her thighs; wonder why she so overdressed?

  28. Stanley Goodyear

    she’s a freak without warning cuz me so horney-give it up

  29. Stanley Goodyear

    she’s a freak without warning cuz me so horney-give it up

  30. Amaranth

    nice bald beaver

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  32. Steph

    She’s too fat to pole-dance, seriously…

  33. hahaha

    somehow I’m not surprised…I was at a concert in Hawaii where she performed after that song she did with Paul Wall came out…I think maybe she was even still underage…her parents were there and she dressed and danced like a stripper. In this pic she’s doing the same, but now se has a pole, LOL

  34. hahaha

    somehow I’m not surprised…I was at a concert in Hawaii where she performed after that song she did with Paul Wall came out…I think maybe she was even still underage…her parents were there and she dressed and danced like a stripper. At least now she has a pole, LOL…that’s just wrong

  35. heather ann

    haha i just love how every ones like eww cause haha that was my first thought!!

  36. SJ

    Dude, imagine being in bed with her and having Hulk Hogan’s face appears in your mind any time you look at her…now if you put wet towel over her head so it doesn’t fall off yes, I’ll do it, otherwise boy o boy does it have a look and feel of being with Hulky…oww yiak

  37. She looks like she is stuck on the floor and trying to make it look hot while she is trying to get back on her feet. Brooke is a very good singer, but not everyone should be on a pole in those clothes acting like that in public. I give her props though, it had to have taken solid balls to do it! So, rock on Chica!!!

  38. She looks really good but WHAT…THE HELL. *sigh* Brooke, you have sunk so low that I don’t even think you can bounce back from THIS. You have OFFICIALLY ruined your celebrity street cred. But the way, does anybody know who her fans are? Who listens to her music?

  39. Is screwed to the two genetic lines. It is long, like his father, feet and chin, while his mother looks now. The future looks bleak as an artist. Does this look like a pole Stipp toothpick.

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