Brooke Hogan: Embracing the Future

March 16th, 2009 // 190 Comments

Here’s Brooke Hogan performing at the Calle Ocho festival in Miami Sunday. I had no idea she was still pursuing her “music” career let alone landing gigs. Fortunately, she’s significantly tweaked her stage act to resemble Britney Spears’ because, let’s face it, America loves a good “riches to clear stripper heels” story. It’s in the Constitution.

NOTE: These pictures are actually happening.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Joe Blow

    Ewwww… dingleberries.

  2. Aly

    Damn – funniest headline ever

  3. Racer X

    I’d hit it.

  4. CTD

    What a seriously f’d up family they are.

  5. Valerie

    I’m with 51–cream colored heels? Bitch, please!

  6. blue

    Where does she hide her cock? It sure must be uncomfortable

  7. Balack Oboombox, the socialist pig piece of shit

    Must be a sturdy pole – she looks a little “healthy”

  8. Argh

    MY EYES!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!! M Y E Y E S !!!!!!!!!!

  9. mikeock

    why are we supposed to care about this no talent bitch? Oh yeah – her father’s a wrestler.


  11. Blah

    Oh my, its like watching a pig happily roll around in the mud. She just doesn’t get that she’s not sexy, does she? She does kind of look like a big, chunky, manly britney.

  12. Brooke


    Oh dear lord, excuse me!

  13. Vince McMahon

    When is she going to jump in the wrasslin’ ring? Seriously, she is built like Chyna. All she needs to do is lift weights and take steroids. Some guys are into Nicole Bass type of chicks. Brooke can make more money that way

  14. Monkey's Bone

    Here honey – here’s $100 bill.
    Don’t ever do that again.
    PLEASE !

  15. Cliff Notes : Hey Bink. Didn’t you used to comment on this site occasionally ?
    Binky : Moi ? Like. Cliff – I’ve been out – invited out for a couple of brews etc. – (Those guys at AIG really know how to party !!)
    Cliff Notes : That’s it. Been busy?
    Binky : Well ok. Things haven’t quite been the same since Steve O was injured on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ and couldn’t continue. The guy had a hook through him and was trolled as shark bait. Can’t survive ‘Dancing With the Stars?’
    Is nothing sacred ?

  16. Binky

    (Not that I’ve seen the show)

  17. blah

    Life finds a way…

  18. Danklin24

    Stripper poles become a lot less sexy when the person dancing on it can put a dent in it the size of the grand canyon.

  19. twin

    She is just a girl, not ugly, not especially pretty either. Just a girl next door. If your neighbor had her oportunities you might chuckle, but you wouldn’t put her down. I find your responses funny , not because she deserves them but because it shows just how shallow you all are. Who in their right mind would even care about this? She is having fun thats all. You would all do the same if in her shoes. Life is short. I don’t blame her for making the most of it.

  20. D'Oh

    In response to other posters, I believe she’s wearing the light colored heels because someone told her that they visually lengthen your legs and make you look taller/sleeker.
    But for the optical illusion to work, YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR LEGS WRAPPED AROUND A POLE, OR UP IN THE AIR….

    To her credit, at least she can hold herself aloft.

  21. mark

    I think I see teeth.

  22. Enough

    One word… WHALE!

  23. toppless

    my friend skippy says look out for explosive diarrhea.

  24. This thirty-nine year old is for once telling the truth, folks!!

  25. can't believe how gross she is

    So she did these stripper moves…!!!! Yeah, classy. This family knows how to appear normal.

  26. Lowlands


  27. thats what brooke looks like after fucking sly!

  28. Hemlock Queen

    For Christ’s sake!!!! Can someone fucking get her a REAL stylist and manager???

    She’s a pretty girl, IF you scrape off the ten pounds of face paint and dress her in something that doesn’t look like Rhode Island whore castoffs.

    Save Brooke! Showing your taint to the whole world is not sexy or classy. Just smelly.

  29. She would have brought the house down if that pole wasn’t reinforced. Samson SMASH!
    Not fat, just large.

    @16 – Hah!

    @80 – That might have been trying to name Britneys meltdown album and it’s song titles back around 07.

  30. sam

    When is she going to jump in the wrasslin’ ring? Seriously, she is built like Chyna. All she needs to do is lift weights and take steroids. Some guys are into Nicole Bass type of chicks. Brooke can make more money that way

  31. Kaiser

    Now it is a stainless steel pole. But it could be your private part!

    Remember this, when cold tears run down your face looking at a smashed weiner.

  32. Not Cute!

    Wow what an Amazon. She really shouldn’t pole dance. How desperate. I bet she’s heavy footed and the stage shook like an earth quake.

  33. Dave

    Man she has some fat legs. Big legs and little skinny ankles.

  34. Joe Fonebone

    That reminds me, I must post that letter…

  35. derp

    Brooke Ellen Bollea
    1401 Court St. Clearwater, Florida 33756
    Brooke’s cell = 786-329-2262
    Hulk Hogans Home = 727-215-4037
    Nick Hogans Cell = 305-395-2267

    Her voicemails
    Including Hulk Hogan talking bout getting a bag of weed to smoke up with her dad and brother.

  36. perks

    The phrase “meaty thighs” was coined for situations and women such as this.

  37. Ralph

    she looks exactly like that woman on metallica video…remember? the stripper-prostitute-mom who would take the exact same choices if she was born again..

  38. Ike Turner

    I can hear the Hulkster now: “What’s the big deal brother?? I used to wipe her vagina when I changed her diapers.”

  39. mamamiasweetpeaches

    #138. That was porn star Ginger Lynn Allen in METALLICA’s Turn The Page vid…..and while she’s no class act either she’s got a good 30 – 60 lbs less meat on her than Brooke.

  40. Dorito Man

    Ew. Just, ew. Piccie number one says it all.

  41. Jammy

    I see no nuts……….

  42. Slim

    I’d eat that……all day looooonnnnnggggggg.

  43. D'Oh

    #121 lol

  44. d'Oh

    Hey, I like the placement of the “power 96″ logo in pic #1.
    Looks like she blasted that out….

  45. Mr Sticky

    Say whatever you want, I dont care, I would lick this girls pussy on my Moms front lawn on Easter Sunday. Pic 1 gave me a pole-woody. Cant wait for Mrs. Sticky to get home.

  46. Homer

    Hey Mr. Sticky….

    Is Mrs. Sticky your cat or your mom?

  47. wet newspaper

    Brooke is a classy lady. You’re all so mean!

  48. captain tenille

    she’s living up to the “thunderlips” name

  49. captain tenille

    she’s living up to the “thunderlips” name

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