Brooke Hogan: Embracing the Future

March 16th, 2009 // 190 Comments

Here’s Brooke Hogan performing at the Calle Ocho festival in Miami Sunday. I had no idea she was still pursuing her “music” career let alone landing gigs. Fortunately, she’s significantly tweaked her stage act to resemble Britney Spears’ because, let’s face it, America loves a good “riches to clear stripper heels” story. It’s in the Constitution.

NOTE: These pictures are actually happening.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some would do her, some wouldn’t. It’s alright, we all have different tastes. But WHY IN THE HOLY FUCK IS SHE WEARING CREAM COLORED LOW HEELS WITH THAT OUTFIT?!?!? SERIOUSLY, THE REST I COULD EXCUSE BECUASE SHE’S A LOW CLASS WHORE, BUT SHIT, EVEN KANYE WEST’S GIRLFRIEND KNOWS BETTER THAN TO TRY & PULL THAT SHIT.

  2. Zippy

    I’d hit it. She looks good with her legs in the air.

  3. I wonder if Hogan greased her up before she grabbed that pole?

  4. FACE

    I would crush it. face down. legs up. and eat all of it. Nice meaty thighs without beings fat or flabby. This is good stuff.

  5. Waste of a good pole….

  6. vanessa

    wow, she is a glutton for punishment. if this girl actually put some clothes on and kept her legs shut, she wouldn’t look so atrocious.

  7. Jrz

    RICH!!!!!!

  8. Matt

    I’d love to strip naked and wrestle with her. The winner is the one who forces anal. I want to win but to be truthful a part of me really wants to lose.

  9. #22 Right on. Where’s the ape man?!?!

    Who really cares about the spawn of The Hulk.

    Born trash. Die Trash.

    I guess you can try to make the most of it?

  10. sluggo

    Ok… first of all, there are many bikini camel toe shots of her. She definitely has a normal vagina. She has a high pitched, feminine voice, I’m 99% sure she’s never taken roids! She has no cellulite on her thighs. She’s a big, strapping, woman!!!
    That being said, I would love to serve her up with some sessssssssssss ;-) !!!

  11. Guy

    Brooke looks like she has found a fun way of keeping in shape, and I wish her all the best with her exercise regime.

    Her slightly saucy outfit highlights her ample assets well, whilst still preserving her feminine dignity.

  12. Ljutefisk

    I fapped to it.

  13. John Graziano

    My eyes! My eyes! It’s enough to make them sink into my head!!!

    Well, ok, they’re sunken already, but still…the point is, in the banner pic she’s flashing a hole that’s scarier than my cranium crater.

  14. Andrea

    What she really needs in pictures like these are visible signs of a snail trail, to reassure all the guys that she’s got an innie not an outtie. Or disappoint them, in the case of male Superficial commenters.

  15. Jrz

    Well, okay…nothing much else going on today but She-Man’s crotch and Blohan being wasted again. Zzzzzz…Zzzzzzz……..Zzzzzz……….

  16. Charles Few

    It’s like watching a roast pig or a particularly foul chunk of rancid Gyro meat fall off the spit.

    This is proof that the superficial writer hates us.

  17. what a surprise

    Wow, Power 96, a stripper pole and some nasty skanky bitch on it. Not exactly a surprise there, Power 96 is the radio station of all the thugs and ghetto ho’s of Miami, not to mention home of that sexist pig DJ Laz.

  18. Elina

    So hot but she looks terrible recently! Her profile and photos were found on the millionai re celebr ity d ati ng c l ub “C e l e b M i n g l e. C 0 M “‘ not long before! “She is very picky about guys,” according to officials of that site.

  19. mamamiasweetpeaches

    REALLY! What up with the flesh colored shoes all of a sudden? Lady Gaga had em on with HER (HIS?) black ensemble too. Dont they sell black shoes anymore? Tacky tacky tacky!

  20. Delgo (not a racist, a realist.)

    She’ll be fucking a black dude soon.

  21. S

    poor kid
    doesn’t even realize

  22. Mr. Obvious

    How old is she because she’s too young to have cellulite of a 50 y/o!!!???

  23. Aunt Jemima

    I bet her bush is rougher than Randy “Macho Man” Savage’s beard.

  24. Vince Lombardi

    I’m as bad as any when it comes to picking on the uber fortunate, but really — this kid seems pretty nice, albeit with a sense of entitlement that comes from having the most famous wrestler in the world as her dad. She couldn’t pick her parents, nor her DNA. She’s a 6 footer who will very likely continue to sport her mother’s very scary face her whole life. She’s trying to parlay her 15 minutes of reality fame and marginal good looks and less than perfect singing voice into something where she doesn’t have to leech off her father. She doesn’t see the absurdity of what she does because she’s trying so hard to not be just “the daughter of Hulk Hogan, wrestling icon.” Give her a little credit. She has remained above the nuclear fray between her parents, hasn’t gotten pregnant, and made the appropriate “eww” sounds when she found out her dad was dating her friend. If she was as obnoxious as Paris Hilton by pretending to be some sort of fucking royalty all the time, then I’d say have at her. Here I see a young woman trying anything to get her doomed singing career off the ground by following some promoter’s REALLY BAD advice.

  25. sunshine

    Too bad she wasn’t dating Chris Brown instead of Rhianna ~ she could have opened a gigantic can of whoop ass on him!

  26. Mother Fucker

    EVERY MAN WHO POSTED BEFORE ME IS A FUCKING PUSSY!!!!!!!

    I see a fine, big legged, blonde haired bitch with her legs spread WIDE open showing her pussy and her ass. So what’s the problem?! Any hetero, red-blooded, hard cocked man would shove his face between those legs and eat out her ass and pussy for about 4 hours straight, then shove in their cock and fuck this bitches brains out until she collasped on the bed, exhausted.

    You guys are faggots!

  27. Anonymous

    Who the hell allowed this? My God…….someone needs to sit this chick down and gently explain to her that she has no talent and to go back to school and get a degree in something, anything. This is beyond sad and pathetic.

  28. bored

    Her pussy’s hanging out!!

  29. Chelle

    OMG, I so did NOT need to see that, especially on a Monday. Or any other day, Superfish, just in case you were ever thinking of posting more of these. Have mercy.

  30. Autumn

    #17 – hahaha. This might be the funniest thread of responses ever.

  31. i'm blind now

    lmao @78

  32. Scary

    Spread eagle shots by girls with legs that thick are not good things. It is morning and I need a drink.

  33. fug shoes

    low heels? hahaha… she might as well have worn orthopedic shoes…

  34. James

    She looks hot. I would have sex with her in a heartbeat.

  35. pat

    I heard some guy tried to sell her worn panties here:

    http://change.dossergame.co.uk/change_please/2886984/

  36. Carolyn

    Is this an actual job? What does she do with the other 23 1/2 hours a day?

  37. Sauron

    Brooke Hogan hanging on a lamppost! Doesn’t she know she can catch a cold up there!?

  38. Darth

    Brooke Hogan’s latest charity project;free gas for the folks!

  39. Erin

    When she said she wanted a stripper pole for her performance who agreed with her that it would be a good idea? I’m not knocking her talent, if she actually has any, but that shot is not flattering on anyone and I think I just threw up my lunch.

  40. Fribble

    *Oink!*
    *Snuffle!* *Snuffle!* *Snuffle!*
    *Oink!* *Oink!*

  41. lol @ hogans

    haha the white trash hogan family is sinking deeper and deeper. fucking losers

  42. sin

    i bet her daddy is jerking off right now looking at these pictures.

  43. gosyco

    The lead image loaded and I felt a slight tug coming from the direction of my screen. I dare not load the full size image (pun intended). The only thing that could save me would be my size 13s (that’s for you, ladies O.O).

  44. gosyco

    Wait, wait, wait…

    If a coax cable is placed in her ass, is she then ready for the big switch?

  45. Lowlands

    Brooke Hogan promoting her titanium pole! Look this strong it is! I’m impressed!

  46. Jake

    I think the only thing in that picture that’s erect is that pole.

    And probably not for long.

  47. HITLER

    Just about every broad is a fucking tramp these days.

    can you guess…..WHO LOVES KIDS???!!

  48. baconnaise

    hmmm…………. bacon………….

  49. JoeKerr

    Did you see that guy’s balls?

    Yeah, they were weird looking…

  50. SoTe

    ewwww.. that is just wrong! In so many levels.

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