Brooke Hogan could be all yours

January 27th, 2010 // 43 Comments

Mmmm. Jowls. Via Life & Style:

Brooke’s rep, Janice Lee, confirms to Life & Style, “Brooke Hogan and Stack$ have split but remain friends. He was a big part of her life for a very long time, and she still cares about him and his family dearly. Brooke would like to thank her fans for their kind words and sensitivity during the breakup.”

I think I’ve figured Brooke Hogan out. She’s like a blonde, modern-day Pat from Saturday Night Live on steroids. But you definitely know she has a penis which completely defeats my theory. Damn. Let’s try again.

I think I’ve figured Brooke Hogan out. She’s like a blonde, modern-day Dolph Lundgren…

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Geez, I saw Pic 1 one and thought it was Britney Spears gettin ready to EXPLODE!

  2. Bill

    “Pat was an androgynous fictional character created and performed by Julia Sweeney for the American sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live, and later featured in the film It’s Pat. The central aspect of sketches featuring Pat was the inability of others to determine the character’s gender.”

  3. Oh barf! Who’s blowing up her face?

  4. hmna

    Pic 1 scared the hell out of me when it came up.

  5. Jiggawuuuut?

    Thought I was looking at a wax statue at Mme. Toussaud’s … :-/

  6. beekeeper

    she looks like the Hulkster in a skirt…. even the mustache is visible.
    wouldn’t want to date any girl that could throw me out of a ring like a rag doll…

  7. Greenman

    Looks like she just had gum surgery.

  8. Filling in for Parker

    I want to have anal sex with her because I am a latent homosexual.

  9. quake

    Face like a doughnut.

  10. BeeTee

    I had a weird homo-erotic dream once where I was banging BH and then she picked me up threw me across the room into the ring ropes and hit me with “The Big Boot” to the face and said “Let me tell you somethin’ brother….say your prayers and take your vitamins. cause what cha gonna do when my entertainment career runs wild on you!”

  11. jesus christ

    Wait Brooke Hogan isn’t a man?

  12. Giggilo

    It’s a MAN BABY!

  13. My question is who the fuck is Stack$ and why does he like trannies?

  14. r k

    …and shes holding a full bag from victoria’s secret. ewe

  15. Racer X

    I’d hit it.

  16. Why the HELL is this newsworthy (seriously, a “rep” had to announce it???) I mean, who even knew/cared that this chIck had a boyfriend?!

  17. Biff Smith

    You other commenters suck, I bet myself that someone would say “I’d hit it” within the first six comments. I am amazed that I lost the bet, to myself!

    And by the way…I’d hit it!

  18. Bosco

    I’d hit it…with a shovel die die die…….

  19. Mister Mister

    I want to have anal sex with her because I like fucking blonde women in the ass.

  20. KindOfBlue

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!

  21. Frist

    What the fuck is she wearing? Muumuu season already?

  22. rachel

    she looks like sloth from the goonies in pic #1.

  23. Rex

    Are we sure that Andre the giant is not her father?

  24. Cardinal Ximenez

    “That’s a HUGE bitch!”

  25. Veronica

    @15, exactly!

    oh, wait, is he one of those cretins from Jersey Shore?
    .
    I have until now never seen a moment of Hogan Knows best or anything involving that family. Last week I saw Brooke shaking her(his) ass in fron t of her(his) brother. Revolting

  26. Phil

    Jeeeezus!..can you inagine what that’s going to look like in 30 years!

  27. Donk Donkerson

    Guess he got sick of being the woman.

  28. That is Brook. Her Mother could not get the rack that straight and would need a hoist to get them that high..

  29. jdog

    A website granting REAL wishes! ;-)

    make a wish: http://www.real-wishes.com

    8,888 wishes granted, after that, no more wishes will be granted..

    ~*Believe*~

  30. guido

    In this picture, she reminds me of Cameron Diaz… if she was stung by a bunch of bees. If she does get cast as the modern day Dolph Lundgren, I hope they make a HE-MAN 2. The first one was bad ass.

  31. Thanks for the update! Everyone has been wondering what was up with Brett and $toop$. It’s all people talk about since she cracked the top 200 album chart.
    Has she been introduced to Gary Coleman? He’s about the height she prefers. Robert Crumb is still around.

    Not sure if these pics are any worse than the blue dress incident. Seems to have a mustache in this pic:
    http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/wenn2406350.jpg

  32. AnnaDraconida

    She has “fans”???

  33. yowillie

    Hag

  34. Chuuunk… Friennnnnnd !

  35. Packinwood

    She never should have been with Stacks anyway. He looks like a retarded, down syndrome munchkin whose head is too big for his body. What a dweeb! The special olympics is ready when you are dude.

  36. She looks just like the hulkster

  37. Boots Great with or without heels,boots are perfect to wear all year round.There are some great colour choices this year,so you’ll be spoilt for choice.If you’re a jeans and top girl,wear thigh high or Christian Louboutin ankle boots with skinny jeans and tunic top.Or if you prefer leggings or tights,try wearing a pair of sheepskin boots with a short skirt,opaque tights and a knitted tunic top.Accessorise with some chunky jewellery.

  38. That is Brook. Her Mother could not get the rack that straight and would need a hoist to get them that high.

Leave A Comment