Brooke Hogan: 21 Years of Hiding a Penis

May 6th, 2009 // 169 Comments

Brooke Hogan celebrated her 21st birthday last night at Pure Nightclub in Vegas, and you’d think Hulk would give her a night off from doing the inevitable creepy double-kiss photo. Then again, I’m not practically committing incest with a clone of my daughter, so what do I know? In the meantime, Brooke needs to fire her stylist for making her look more manly than Chuck Norris eating a steak. You can almost hear the penis-tape peeling away just looking at these pics.

Photos: WENN

  1. Puddin' Taine

    “That’s a man baby!”

    Seriously, Brooke looks like a friggin tranny in these pics. I could swear she’s smuggling a small Schnauzer in her panties…

    But I’d still have some drunken hate-sex with her all night, fake titties ‘n all

  2. Yikes

    @ # 33…
    That’s an insult to drag queens.
    She looks like she needs a good scrub (or shave the 5 o’ clock shadow perhaps).

    Blechh =[

  3. from Finland with löööv

    It’s like… her dad made her take some steroids in the gym, but it all went straight to her face?

  4. CMYK_Josh

    @100 – No shit, by the time she really is 43 she’s going to look like she’s made of 100% pure leather.

  5. Gando

    Is she only 21? She’s a strong girl for her age.

  6. Boogeyman King Dong

    Look out for too much tanning.The skin is a sensitive organ.

  7. Rhialto

    Only in the Western culture a tan gives you status.The rest of the world avoid tanning.Foreigners don’t understand this sunbaking.

  8. Darth

    To avoid that girls are jumping on me because of my extreme handsomeness i’m wearing this dark mask.Not because i’m afraid of a tan.

  9. Mr. Jones

    You would think that Hulk would ask his girlfriend to at least dye her hair a different color than his daughter, for fuck’s sake.

    I wonder if he still has that “aw shucks” look on his face when he doinks the both of them.

  10. kisjijoe

    huge clit big ass and dumb as fuck
    in spain we have plenty of them or sweden

  11. Eva

    Jesus. She looks like she’s in her late 30′s and a transvestite!

  12. She is so tall and sexy.I know a place you can date with such girls.
    *** Seekingtall.c o m *** which I have joined.­ I think it is interesting and you will like it.

  13. Newcastle

    She looks really old in these pics.

  14. Spankable

    Her stylist probably highlighted her ass-chin to take the attention off her Adam’s apple. There’s only so much testosterone make-up can hide.

  15. dk

    LMFAO The Saw puppet ROTFFL!!!!!!!

  16. mr.grumpy

    @113 No, really? I wasn’t sure we had established that, geez!

  17. Drunkman

    She shouldn’t do any more close up shots.

  18. grobpilot

    Fucking celebrities and their goddamn sideways peace signs. I think they’re unconciously letting us know either their IQ or their age, because it certainly can’t mean anything else.

  19. kat

    shes just unfortunate.

  20. Don Key


  21. Stace

    21? She needs to lay off the tanning booth (and the makeup, AND the plastic surgery). She’s looking very similar to a 21-year old leather satchel bag I have.

  22. Bumbles

    I thought this was a picture of her mother, by mistake. Like “Brooke Hogan, whoops, ha ha, it’s her mom! Let’s just fix that…” And I keep waiting for it to get fixed. Wowwwwww.

  23. Jennifer


  24. bbob

    Ditto on “that’s a man, baby!”

  25. Initial_G

    She and Khloe Kardashian should do guy on guy porn. :D

  26. Katherine

    Wow, is she 21 going on 40? Good Lord! Coppertone should use these pics to promote their anti-sun damage products…these images are easily the “before.”

  27. Cait

    That’s not Brooke Hogan that’s a MAN baby! Yeah! *Grins with Austin Powers bad tooth smile*

  28. Yikes! Too much makeup.

  29. Ash

    she looks so olddddd! :O ew.

  30. Ash

    she looks so olddddd! :O ew.

  31. Hec

    This is just too disturbing. That can’t be her; no way. If that’s really her, she got to stop whatever she’s doing cause it’s fucking her up. Unbelieveable!!! This got to be look a like …. a Cruel look a like. I remember i once wouldn’t mine fucking her but this …. this is just… OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Jon

    That’s a MAN baby!

    Hahahhaa too true.

  33. Melissa

    Dude…Hulks new lady looks younger than Brooke!

  34. Melissa

    Dude…Hulks new lady looks younger than Brooke!

  35. john

    she looks like the muppet in saw

  36. Michele

    Wow, what’s funny to me is that she is only a year older than me, but yet she looks like she is twenty years older than me….. I mean her dad’s girlfriend is prettier than her. So for all you young girls out there that want to be so tan, take a good long look at the harry scary monster up above……

  37. Keen Observer


  38. stickit

    my wrinkly ass looks better than her face

  39. stickit

    my wrinkly ass looks better than her face

  40. helia

    my god are you happy now brooke?? now that you have baked your skin to leather?? fucking ugly piece of shit…what a pathetic vain whore. suck a dick you waste of space. trannies look better than you.

  41. Gin

    I love Brooke! But the makeup has got to go. She should’ve came to me for her makeup!! I would’ve done it for free too!!

  42. notfunny

    she doesnt look 40 but she doesnt look 21 either but then neither does lilo or almost any other 21 year old hollywood type

  43. steve

    I’m no fan but this has got to be photoshopped? did the hulkster take so much roids people just being close to him are affected? she’s more man than his pussy son

  44. steve

    I’m no fan but this has got to be photoshopped? did the hulkster take so much roids people just being close to him are affected? she’s more man than his pussy son

  45. broooke your so beautiful

    what a manny manny man man – this goes to show what too much tanning will do kids – turn you into a transexual mattel doll – i bet if you look real close she is a life size ken doll with a wig and make up – yuck

  46. kisjijoe

    she should try taking her skin out if this makeup hell
    i know some girls that hide their natural beauty in useless makeup
    remember jelly osbourne?

  47. jackson

    50 years old? man or woman?

  48. dude looks like a ladyyyyyyyy!!

  49. --------------------VERY RELEVANT COMMENT-------------------------

    She doesn’t look loke a man, she just looks a hell of a lot older than she actually is. If she were late 30s early 40s she’d be a pretty hot MILF but to look like that at 21 is just sad. Usually you can look at someone who has done a lot of smoking, partying, and tanning and tell their age even though their skin is not quite what it would be if they had lived a healthier lifestyle. With Brooke, you can’t even make that distinction. She truly has aged beyond her years. I wonder if she already has arthritis, and bone loss.

  50. britney

    she is so hot.but hulk hogan is very serenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she is my idol with christina aguilera……4-ever

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