I’m not sure if this counts as celebrity gossip since it’s fake and one of the people involved is a fictional character, but Brooke Burke and the Burger King dude have split up. If a former model and giant-headed hamburger spokesman can’t make it in this crazy world of ours then what hope do the rest of us have?
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TheHappyRobot | May 9, 2006 at 8:49 am
FIRST!?
Celeb_Hater | May 9, 2006 at 8:51 am
Again??
Celeb_Hater | May 9, 2006 at 8:51 am
oh you happy robot you
but who could stay with a man whose soul goal was to make them fat?
CruisingForCock | May 9, 2006 at 9:08 am
I’ve been waiting for this to happen. He promised me he would leave her months ago. Now he is all mine.
sweetcheeks | May 9, 2006 at 9:09 am
What’s with the Sally Jesse’s there, Brooke?
YIKES.
ziggurat | May 9, 2006 at 9:10 am
The Burger King dude was my personal hero. At first it was just for creeping people out. Then dating Brooke Burke put him over the top. Now I don’t know what to think.
BarbadoSlim | May 9, 2006 at 9:11 am
I would like to take this opportunity to get something off my chest. WHO IN THE HELL, told this “personalities” from the E basic cable channel, that they were ever celebrities!?!?!?
These bitch here and that other Juliana Dipandi(or whatever)skank take themselves way, waaay, waaay too seriously.
they make me sick.
SuperSpence | May 9, 2006 at 9:19 am
YEAH, BABY!
I guess this means Brooke is back on the market. Trading up from Burger King to SuperSpence is like going from the outhouse to the penthouse. Step up to the plate and sample a real plate of hot beef, baby!
[Translation: I hope to have frequent and regular sexual intercourse with Brooke Burke.]
JollyJumjuck | May 9, 2006 at 9:23 am
She probably dumped him for Ronald McDonald. Because Ronald has big shoes. And you know what they say about guys with big shoes.
Binky | May 9, 2006 at 9:23 am
This is sad. Where’s the beef ?
BarbadoSlim | May 9, 2006 at 9:24 am
It must a bitch to find flatttering asbestos underwear Spence…:)
Trotter | May 9, 2006 at 9:26 am
I heard its because he gets special sauce all over her sesame seed buns. And she really just wants mayo between those all beef patties.
Lala | May 9, 2006 at 9:34 am
Brooke is holding out for Ronald McDonald, after Jessica’s done with him. I’m telling you – he’s the man. He’s got a posse – you know, the Fry Guys and Grimace and that crew. Burger King does not. Case closed.
SuperSpence | May 9, 2006 at 9:36 am
#11 BarbadoSlim wrote: It must a bitch to find flatttering asbestos underwear Spence…:)
REPLY: Underwear?
Dr.Rokter | May 9, 2006 at 9:43 am
Insiders claim difficulties arose in the “BurkerKing” relationship when Burger King, a Higher Thetan in the Church of Scientology, argued with Burke (telepathically) that he didn’t need spoken words to communicate. Burke has since claimed, “I really didn’t know what the fuck he was trying to say. I didn’t hear anything. He’d just stare at me for hours, and then go through my stuff.” Through a spokesman, Burger King has claimed Burke’s accusations to be, “rumor and innuendo” and that he was, “like so many Scientologists, being treated like a Jew under the Third Reich.”
Pearly | May 9, 2006 at 9:52 am
#15 that is hysterical. Damn.
Lou | May 9, 2006 at 9:54 am
I wonder if this has anything to do with him always waking up in construction workers’ beds. They are damn hard to resist though. Rough hands, tanned skin they way they fuck you like a jackhammer…..
aimatcha | May 9, 2006 at 9:55 am
Where has she been? The Burger King sleeps with dudes. There are better things to be in life than a “beard”. Although he IS royalty….I guess even I’d be tempted.
Jacq | May 9, 2006 at 9:57 am
Wait, the guy’s a King and he can’t talk? She’s a crazy bitch to leave that one. Prolly, cause it’d hurt to give birth to a prince with that huge, hard plastic head.
eatmyass_sherry-co | May 9, 2006 at 10:03 am
TCTLC
Lou | May 9, 2006 at 10:05 am
# 17
Upon re-reading my last post I see numerous grammatical errors. But those damn construction workers get me so turned on.
Grphdesi23 | May 9, 2006 at 10:07 am
What does her milkshake bring to the lawn?
sharkbite | May 9, 2006 at 10:16 am
Aww, there goes his Burger King Queen.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
PapaHotNuts | May 9, 2006 at 10:18 am
Because of her love for big, plastic headed fast-food icons, rumor has it she let the Jack In The Box guy finger-fuck her in the restroom. True story.
St.Minutia | May 9, 2006 at 10:29 am
#3 Celeb_Hater
fat people = Burger King’s soul goal AND sole goal.
Trotter | May 9, 2006 at 10:31 am
@24
What about that rumor that she’s been playing punch the patty with the Hamburgler?
PapaHotNuts | May 9, 2006 at 10:44 am
I don’t doubt it Trotter. She’s a whore.
Italian Stallion | May 9, 2006 at 10:51 am
I once had a foursome with the McNuggets…..Taste like chicken….Why only four you ask? I was with Michael Jackson and it was a kid’s meal………..
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 9, 2006 at 11:11 am
I heard she let Dairy Queen give her a strawberry milkshake… FROM THE BACK!
BigJim | May 9, 2006 at 11:17 am
I bet if I shoved him in the water that big ol’ head would drag him down like an anchor. I would forever be known as the guy who drowned the burger king dude. That would be cool.
Oh, and then I’d fuck Brooke.
Iambananas | May 9, 2006 at 11:25 am
This site has gotten stupid.
Fisher55 | May 9, 2006 at 11:40 am
31, LOL
Gerald Tarrant | May 9, 2006 at 11:40 am
And in keeping with stupid food related quips:
I guess the Whopper just isn’t doing it for her.
ZiNgEr_24 | May 9, 2006 at 11:44 am
u know what they say,
the best part of waking up…
is having a giant plastic king hand you some effin’breakfast!
Now thats love!
edb87 | May 9, 2006 at 11:56 am
#9 – Hillarious.
I’m the only person I know that loves/isn’t totally freaked out by BK. I like him better than Ronald and that piss-poor excuse for a mascot, the Hardees star. I mean, he beats construction workers with pillows. That’s awesome.
SuperG | May 9, 2006 at 12:03 pm
#28…Fucking F U N N Y!
ImCurly | May 9, 2006 at 12:14 pm
Now there is a fun guy … either he’ a joy to be around or she is having a birthday party for her kids … lmao! I need a guy like that … A new adventure every day and a yacht !
Shelley Bonnechance | May 9, 2006 at 4:33 pm
That Burger King with the giant smiling head freaks me the hell out. The commerical where the guy puts up his window blind and the Burger King is standing right outside…geez, that is just a very special kind of wrong.
Fa Cube Itches | May 9, 2006 at 6:06 pm
24: Your account of the bathroom encounter between Brooke Burke and Mr. Box is basically correct but for one detail. It wasn’t a finger bang, it was a “nose job”.