So Brooke Mueller Fell Off The Wagon

Charlie Sheen’s ex Brooke Mueller has apparently fallen way off the wagon because TMZ has obtained footage of her in a pawn shop yesterday morning where she tried to sell a stereo and a men’s watch in the most suspicious-looking way possible. Of course, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone considering she used to let Charlie Sheen stick his penis in her. I’m just amazed she’s not pushing her infant sons onto the table. “For real, these are like brand new, cash, you do cash?”

An employee at the shop, Jack Feldman, tells us … Brooke was desperately trying to get cash for the two items … but the store would not make the purchase because Brooke did not have a valid I.D.
In the surveillance footage from the store obtained by TMZ, Brooke nervously and anxiously paces around the store while the employees check out the items.
Brooke certainly shouldn’t need the money, because she’s getting $55,000 a month in child support, not to mention the multi-million dollar settlement she scored in her divorce with Charlie Sheen.

You know, I give Charlie Sheen a lot of shit for being a violent, over-entitled woman-beater worshiped by undersexed idiots, but at the end of the day he does bang a lot of hookers who provide me with material on a horribly slow Friday. And before you say, “Brooke Mueller was actually his wife,” really think about that for a second.

UPDATE: Just in case this story wasn’t open and shut enough, Brooke’s mom is now saying her daughter was only selling the watch and stereo “for a friend.” In related news, guess who just believed there’s such thing as a “purse cleaners shop.”

Photos: Splash News