Britney’s Baby is Jesus

Superficial / November 30, 2005

britney_thumb_1.jpgBritney Spears and Kevin Federline, pausing in their efforts to fill their swimming pool with beef jerky, have transformed their son Sean Preston’s bedroom into the nativity setting for his first Christmas. The gaudy decorations include six waxwork models and several life-size toy donkeys and cattle. Britney is so excited that she even bought a cherrywood style manger for her baby. A source close to Britney said, “It cost an absolute fortune. But at least she didn’t have to buy a baby Jesus – because Sean is playing the part.”

Considering that any baby’s Christmas list consists entirely of 1) food, 2) warmth, and 3) crapping everywhere, blowing thousands of dollars on worthless Christmas decorations seems kinda dumb. Britney could tape a cardboard box to his head and he’d be just as happy. Hell, Britney could tape a cardboard box to her own head and be just as happy. And if, instead of taping cardboard to her head, she taped herself to the underside of a bus, then I’d be just as happy. And then I’d cross off items 1 through 75 on my Christmas list.