Us Weekly reports that backstage during the Teen Choice Awards Jessica Simpson asked Britney Spears if she could kiss her pregnant belly and Britney yelled back, “Hell no!”
Says a witness, “Jessica was really insulted, but Britney refused to let her do it.”
I can’t even imagine the vacuum created when Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson are in the same room together. Even if Britney had said okay Jessica would’ve just gotten confused and ended up kissing the potted plant in the corner. And then Britney would laugh and correct her, holding her head up proudly and pointing to the fax machine next to it.
she can yell?
she’s pregnant? i thought that was a beer gut? apparently jessica is willing to kiss anything that isn’t Nick.
I bet Britney’s belly tastes like dead dreams.
I hate them both, but Jessica should’ve given that fat hillbilly a beatdown for yelling at her. At least Jessica was married to Nick Lachey and not that parasite douchebag K-Fed. TEAM JESSICA! (Just this once…)
That’s just fucking creepy. Who in their right fucking mind, asks someone they BARELY know (or even if they do know them for that matter) to kiss their pregnant belly? At least Brit had the sense enough to say NO, which is all we can hope for at this point.
For a preggo barefoot redneck, she shore has a purty smile!
The intelligence level of those two combine equate that of a dry cactus….anyways good thing jessica didnt kiss that stomach….britney spears is so dirty that she has to creep up on bathwater….if you want to check out more whore behavior…. http://www.dirtyrottenwhore.com
The visualization alone of that entire exchange between those two nitwits just made me lose 5 IQ points.
Kiss her belly? I wouldn’t touch that thing with a long stick… because if I did, the stick would set on fire and start crying. Yea, sticks aren’t animated and don’t cry… but this one would.
I think Britney Spears has three responses to questions, “I’m Country” “Hell no” or just farting… Jessica Simpson got the second one.
They should get those two and Paris on Celebrity Jepardy. Then play it at night for insomniacs and people with sleeping disorders.
(” Ummm….yeahh…Could you repeat the question ?”)
i would pay at least $2.50 to motorboat brit’s sweet sweet sugar tits. maybe even $3
http://www.funderpants.com
Excuse me, person I am not friends with, may I put my scary toothy bum-chin mouth on your body? That’s just weird. I would have said ‘Hell No’ too.
haha funny…
She probably thought she would catch Jessica’s herpes…wait, nevermind, that’s Paris Hilton
http://www.celebslam.com
This is the smartest thing this bitch has said in years (meaning Britney). Who goes around kissing people’s bellies? How disgusting. That is the equivalent of kissing a hooker. Gross!
The Teen Choice awards: Where brain cells go to die.
When I was preggers, all sorts of weirdos wanted to rub my belly, and THAT drove me up the fucking wall. Good on yah, Brit. That request of Jessica’s was waaaay too bizarre. I would have punched her though. Right in the twat.
as a consolation, K-Fed offered to let Jessica kiss his ball-sac, saying that it’s where the NEXT baby would come from…sadly, things got a little ‘involved’ and she swallowed baby #3…
What an ass… She should have let Jessica kiss her belly!!!
I would have…
So that’s what the Goodyear blimp would look like in cocktail dress . . .
TCLTC
I think someone made this up.
I think jessica wanted to get closer to Brit’s meatloaf and take a long hard wiff.
I mean, why would anyone want to kiss a pregnant bellly? One person ends up with smeared lipstick and the other ends up with said lipstick on their dress. That’s just dumb!!!
Mmm..Jessica ALMOST going down on Britney makes me feel funny in my pants.
Jessica was hurt because she didn’t understand. Awhile back, when she and Britney were intoxicated, Britney had asked to kiss her “belly” and when Jess let her Britney went further south and tongue-twiddled Jess’ pleasure button. Jess was just trying to return the favor, but Brit – good mother that she is – didn’t want to deprived her fetus from it’s dippy.
I wouldn’t want my face anywhere near the lower hemisphere of that planet. Jessica must be on crack.
I wouldn’t even want to kiss Spears’ belly. She could have said yes, and when Jessica bent over to kiss her belly, the fucking redneck could have grabbed her head turned around and farted in her face. Now that’s celebrity news………
They didn’t finish the report:
After Brit said ‘Hell no’, Jess was heard saying – “I’m the best belly-kisser ever, my daddy says so.”
Of course, Jess isn’t smart enough to differentiate between Papa Joe’s belly & his cock, but she was just trying to be nice.
She probably said hell no because it would have required lifting her dress over her outrageously huge belly, exposing the fact that she was no wearing underwear since there hasn’t been a pair made that could contain her blown-out cooch.
It’s weird for someone to ask to kiss a pregnant woman’s belly.
Kissing Britney’s belly? How about punching Brit’s belly. Hard. Over and over. Do the world a favour.
Oh my. Mentioning Britney and Jessica in the same sentence is one thing, but witnessing candid interaction between the two is another. When I picture them talking, I picture two buckets of blonde hair mindlessly sitting there while smacking their gum. It’s like who’s the bigger moron – Britney or Jessica? Then there’s K. Fed – don’t even get me started on that.
#3 and #9 LOL!!!!
Jessica made up for it when she kissed K-Fedup after his JOKE of a performance. People say it “didn’t suck” but it soooo did! Didn’t he say people were going to be blown away by his performance? Blown away by a cheesy fake pianist shot in the beginning and a dancer that almost clocked him mid performance while some black dude shout out every third word with K-fuckhead? Whew, I’m soooo blown away!
#32 – Ah, that takes me back to the days of the Punching Gweneth in the Pregnant Belly thread. Those were the days ’round here…
Why would Jess want to do that? Probably smells like soured milk and looks like cottage cheese down there.
Jess: Can I kiss your tummy?
Brit: HUH?! My jaw hurts.
Jess: So can I?
Brit: *table slap* HUH?!
Jess: Is there a baby in there?
Brit: Do you believe in time travel?
Jess: The kitty-cat goes moo!
Brit: Hell no! You just want to look at the pee-hole! You’re doing somethin’ weird!
Those two should have a titty fight. I’m not even sure what that could possibly mean, but I’m sure it would fun to see.
#3 – I think I shed a tear…
I am torn between being discusted and turned on. I think turned on is winning…I would like to have a pic of Jessica kissing her belly. But then again, I wish I had a picture of Jessica Alba eating horse shit – so maybe I’m not normal.
make that disgusted
If I could get pregnant I’d be lying on my back by the side of the road right now waiting for the first swinging dick to empty his load and make it so, just so that Jessica Simpson would pucker her beautiful red lips and kiss my swollen belly. Then I’d grab her hair and knot it round my fist…oh dear, it’s been a long day.
Um….that’s not a flattering outfit.
#35, yeah those were the days. Funny thing is I still want to punch Paltrow, pregnant or not.
#16, you are SPOT ON. I was thinking the same thing. (That it was the smartest thing she’d said in years!) Of course, she should have said “Hell, yes!” about nine months ago, the night K-Fag asked if he should pull out.
P.S. Jessica Simpson needs to be kicked in the cunt.
Her belly probably tastes like cheetos and pickles from the slobber dripping off her mouth.
#36 is fucking awesome… their whole conversation probably consisted of burping and table thumps.
Spears is probably PO’d because Jessica kissed K-douchebag.
I think Shitney didn’t let Jess kiss her belly cause she probably thinks that’s how she got preggers the first two times!
@36 Yay Jacq, that was funny!
Hey, I heard that John Mark Karr has a red Delorean. Maybe Britney would like to find out if time travel is possible.
#47 – I’ve been posting rather infrequently b/c I hit a shitty patch at the office – I have had to bust my ass lately.
You’d have to convince her to drive it off a cliff to get falling fast enough to REALLY time travel.
#46 – Everyone knows that BACK RUBS are what get you pregnated.
she got the idea of time travel from an episode of the superfriends the time when flash was spinning around so fast that he went back in time. hell, her head is spinning around so fast that she might actually do it.
Jess wanted to get down and suck on the imaginary umbilical cord, twirl it around in her mouth and pretend it was her ex-husband’s cock.
Then she wanted to spit in the hole a little bit and suck it out with some of the belly button crud that has been resident there since the last puppy Brit squeezed out.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.