Britney Spears writes poetry

May 25th, 2006 // 128 Comments

bspears-poem.jpgBritney Spears posted a poem on her official site Saturday which she later took down and put back up. Sources are reporting that it’s directed towards Kevin Federline because it sounds angry and their marriage is supposedly on the rocks, but a note at the bottom of the poem says: “This is for everyone who thinks they know me…” and includes a shot of her and some girls giving the finger. Which I can only interpret to mean she hates her fans and wants them to leave her alone. And fuck off. And die. I guess I’d be pretty angry too if I was married to Joe Dirt and my plans to kill my baby were thwarted by that meddlesome paparazzi. I hear at the end they pull off her face and it was really just Old Man Jenkins all along.



  1. prettierthanmeganharris

    herbie, you are scaring me

  2. burlapbra

    holy crap, herbiefrog, you’re using britney and her fetus as vehicles for some pretty profound philosophies. that’s amazing, and i’m entirely not joking. not there either.

  3. BarbadoSlim

    Herbie, some men in white coats are parking their van just outside your house, they’ll be with you momentarily, don’t make any sudden moves they’ll take care of evvriiiithing.

    it’s gonna be alright buddy.

  4. sweetcheeks

    I like the letters followed by question marks. It has a “Sesame Street” quality to it, you know, like the Count: is it 1? 2? Vat is the number of the day? Ahh hah hah…

    I also enjoyed the 1,113 spelling errors scattered throughout the masterpiece. Oh, and the phrase “die in bunches.” That’s deep, man. Deep.

  5. BarbadoSlim

    The Count ruled all ass.

    I miss the old school Sesame Street, I don’t know what the fuck the current one is going for.

  6. jacseamit

    dude. that poem is totally about her tyrannical pimp of a mother. Not her dirt bag baby daddy.

  7. Sdvora

    Wow. Thanks for posting such a breaking story. I hadn’t heard about this last week.

  8. 86

    Now this is just ridiculous.

  9. DaNiGuRl

    Well, judging from the extremely gaudy pink fuzzy half fake mink quarter sleeve coat she’s got on…i’d say she took this picture on the set of her “Do Something” video. As far as her writing that poem and posting THAT picture on her website goes… i really don’t think she intended for that to be at her fans but she is sooooo freakin stupid that she thought it would be for the haters. Here’s a thought Britney–if you wanna fire back at the people who hate you in this world, don’t do it on your website where the last 39 fans you have left go on…you might offend them and then what would you be left with????

  10. DancingQueen

    WTF was that herbiefrog post? You win for the longest post ever herbie. YAY for you, you weird shit.

    I used to be in Mickey Mouse
    But now I’m as big as a God damn house
    Every day gettin bigger and bigger
    Where the hell’s my husband
    That white trash wigger.

  11. sissybelle

    Kevin Creditline better start practicing his lame ass bump-and-grinds.

  12. delicious_dysfunktion

    PLEASE tell me its true..according to

    New reports Britney Spears has split from husband Kevin Federline have not been denied by the singer’s publicist. British newspaper the Daily Mirror claims the couple’s relationship has grown so strained, Spears has banished Federline to live in the basement of their California mansion. She reportedly returned from New York this week to find the aspiring rapper drinking and smoking cannabis in the house. Sources tell the newspaper Spears had hoped to save the marriage for the sake of their son Sean Preston and their unborn second child – due in October – but has lost patience. A friend says, “She wanted to wait but their relationship has become so hostile she just doesn’t see how she can make it work.” When quizzed, a spokesman for the star refused to deny the claims.

  13. delicious_dysfunktion

    Dammit!I can’t post the news I heard from IMDB about Britney and Spenderline breaking up,but this retard kirbyfrog(lamebananas with a different ID of course)manages to post War and Peace?WTF man! I need my gin.

  14. delicious_dysfunktion

    Nevermind.I almost pulled a Kate Moss there.
    Anyway,Tom Cruise truely,madly,deeply loves the cock.

  15. Fa Cube Itches

    I hope they stay together – the death spiral is just too fun.

    Interesting that even the fanatical Duckboy appears to have given up defending her at this point.

  16. monkeypup

    Who’s the purple sausage?

  17. Krysil

    After reading that poem I know now why her record label tries really hard to use writers instead.

    I so delight
    That I can wright
    I can wright a lot!

    I so take pleasure
    In pentamic measure
    You ain’t got what I got!

    :( wow….

  18. “You trick me one, twice, now it’s three”

    WHAT???? Is anyone noticing the grammatical homicide here?

    And referencing the Bible in a poem that ends with “damn, it’s good to be me” is just re-dunk-ulous.

  19. lolo

    maybe im just missing something or totally stupid but…..the last time i went to church im pretty sure we didnt talk about the “sins of the father.” isnt that obvious to anyone with half a brain? come on woman. now shes saying god is sinful? she definitely missed the whole point there

  20. sissybelle

    Char Jackson, honey, this is for you: Of the three (Hickny, Kevin Fed-Her-A-Line, and yourself), you are the ONLY one with any brains and class. Darling; Hickny — vampish though she thought she was being when she ‘took’ K-F-ck away from you and your kids — actually did you a favor. You got a mansion; you got a mint; you got rid of bone-idle K-F-uck. After she now finishes kicking him out and he turns up at your house like a persistent STD (which he is bound to do), just keep the doors locked and laugh at his Bakersfield ass through the window whilst counting your cash.

  21. kitty_kat

    Seriously, why is she famous again?
    That has to be one of the most nonsensical poems I have ever read in my entire life! What the hell was she talking about?

  22. I like our SIMS version of Britney…come take a look!

  23. ymagyn

    Lonely nights, lovely dreams
    Of eating Chettos with ice cream

    Bags of Chettos all around
    Visions of Sean P falling on the ground


  24. brit sucks anyway like we are suppose to believe that washed up pop tart has fans anyway

  25. sissybelle

    ymagyn — laughed at #123 so hard, I cried — that takes some doing — And, like, ‘tearly’ is SO totally a word. Just ask Slutny (whom we are supposed to cry for now that she has taught our 9-year-olds to dress like hoochies and broke up a family for a skanky man-ho. She also almost cracked open SP’s itty-bitty noggin because she HAD to wear 3″ heels, try to walk in trailing jeans, and carry a drink the other hand). Britney is an idiot about doing what she wants and then bitching about the consequences. She wanted to make millions out of whoring/trivializing herself and she wanted K-F-ck; she got what she wanted. Welcome to the jungle.

  26. slinkhard

    LOL @ 125. Britney’s responsible for ‘our’ 9 year olds now?

  27. Chrissy87

    She still has millions of fans. When she guest stared on Will and Grace they got the highest rating ever on thier show, WTF does that tell you?

    I am 19 and listen to her music, she is the only female singer whos entire CD’s I cal listen to and not skip one song.

  28. she is best singer and fine performer, i have watched her albums and liked all, if given a chance i would like to write a fine song for her.

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