Britney Spears posted a poem on her official site Saturday which she later took down and put back up. Sources are reporting that it’s directed towards Kevin Federline because it sounds angry and their marriage is supposedly on the rocks, but a note at the bottom of the poem says: “This is for everyone who thinks they know me…” and includes a shot of her and some girls giving the finger. Which I can only interpret to mean she hates her fans and wants them to leave her alone. And fuck off. And die. I guess I’d be pretty angry too if I was married to Joe Dirt and my plans to kill my baby were thwarted by that meddlesome paparazzi. I hear at the end they pull off her face and it was really just Old Man Jenkins all along.
Britney Spears writes poetry
May 25th, 2006 // 128 Comments
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She used to be way hot.
#51
She used to be way hot
And now she is so not.
Ladies and gentlemen that was a better poem then Britney’s
I’m just spitballing, but I think she is flipping us off. Yeah us as in us all here bashing her brains in with our wealth of life experience.
I accept her “fuck you”.
Well I don’t!
*shakes fist at Britney*
Personally with all the stuff she’s done I think she deserves a liftime of us making fun of her.
herbiefrog could write better poetry than this fool
Nothing like a good old fashioned “fuck you” to your fans. It makes us want you more because we think we can’t have you and that we can change you.
I think it’s pretty amazing that her streams of consciousness have an ABAB rhyme scheme. I bet she also has that old Meow Mix jingle going in her head: meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow…
My Cheetos love me
This I know
Cause my baby tells me so
Little bits in the bag belong
Check it out ya’ll
You can see my thong
Yes, Cheetos love me
Yes, Cheetos love me
Why does she mention the Bible? Does she think SP wrote it? Man, I bet it would be beyond easy to pull one over on her as a mother. That kid’s got it more made than we know.
Must be an old picture, she doesn’t appear to be so hippo-ish as she is now. That pic is so lame I may never flip the bird again.
Plus the chick on the left looks inbred. nice pals Fatney.
huh huh Fatney…cause she’s fat and ugly.
Seriously I can’t wait till she’s 300 pounds.
Britaney’s poetry submissions for the week.
Pregnancy Fat Here
Want to be hot like before
Pass the fucking chips
Husband is a tard
Should have kept dating the fag
God I’m so damn fat
Whats that fucking smell?
All he does is fart and spend
Mom was right….the bitch
A new CD soon?
You Love Me! You Really DO!
Why are you laughing?
Stinks like Pot and Sweat
Steals money can’t get a job
I think his sperm makes me fat
Some people may be saying that Im overweight
But I think that my big body is looking great
I used to diet and diet, it dont change a thing
Everyone must accept that I wont be thin
Well its the way I wanna be
Cause Im someone that everybody can see
Well I always stand out in a crowd
Im the heaviest diva youve seen around
http://www.josephrgannascoli.com/images/EVENTS/MAY_2002_MIDDLE_FINGER_SALUTE/joe_middle_finger_salute.jpg
Her new role model is Tanya Tucker. Welcome to Spearsville, ya’ll.
“Kevin, Kevin
You are not gonna go to heaven.
Please leave me and Sea Preston
and go live in a MO-tel room at the Westin
That’s all I have to say to you
And…and…I’m rubber and you’re glue.
Yeah.”
Her stomach looks wierd in that picture.
Kevin you were a lame back up dancer
now I wish you would just get lung cancer
Don’t you know anything about rap?
Popozao was such complete crap.
When we got together, you were a guy and a half,
Now you’re so funny I forgot to laugh.
Braids in your hair and you wanna be black
Hey Joe Dirt called…he wants his look back!
Britney, Britney,
look around
There is no spiral;
It’s all straight down.
Feddy’s sperm
Is like eating lard
It doesn’t help
That he’s a ‘tard.
Your kid’s like Stewie
Flat football head
Nice try but
He still isn’t dead.
Go have another
double mocha-choco-caramel-vanilla-sprinkle latte’
Instead of fatty
We’ll all call you FATTE’
Um, okay Britney maybe it might not be the best idea in the world, to flip-off your FANS. Yeah, I’m sure there are alot of people out there, who’ve been getting on your case lately, but they are generally not referred to as FANS. You see, FANS are actually the people who support you, unlike the rest of us who think you suck. So maybe in the future you should reserve your fansite for um, oh yeah, your FANS, and save the anger for all of us who actually deserve it. Dumbass
Call me crazy, but could she be flipping off Kevin?
I took Sean Preston to the Park
While his father watched Playboy after Dark,
With his hommies and his crew
I knew just what I should do,
I called the bank and with great glee
Had his credit cards canceled cuz’ nothing is free
I think my thong is showing
My face embarrassed is glowing,
I’m a MILF or so I think
At least my thong is a nice hot pink.
Now I almost dropped my kid
And from the paparazzi I hid,
You look at me and now you mock
When you used to dream about me and your cock.
At one time I was a hot ass singer
Well that
The next thing I want to see Brit write is an “apology” and farewell to her fans, because she is taking her spawn and husband and living out the rest of her days in the Louisiana bayou.
Of course, once there, she’ll be eaten by an alligator after she murders K-Fed and gets stuck in the muck while trying to drag his body away…
Apologies for the blatant pimp but the full text of the poem – including sins of my fathers bit and the wonderfully fitted (ahem) last line “damn it’s good to be me!”- is here: http://fametastic.co.uk/archive/20060524/1338/britney-spears-posts-telling-poem-on-website/
Is that her best attempt to try and look like the Pussycat Dolls?
….*weeping*…that was soooooooo beautiful….she is such a victim…..and always will be……
Now if we can get a picture of her gnawing off Sean Preston’s limbs…..oh yea..I said it…you know it’s true…her methods to off him thus far haven’t been working…
Britney…you are soooo losing your touch!!!
That would be why she needs a gun
….and I heard from a guy who knows this guy who told me that Sean Preston’s limbs are Cheeto flavored….Mmmmmmmm cheeeeetooos
Popozao!!!!!!!!
She does NOT hate her fans… she hates, and that poem is, for all the ppl outta there who keeps talking trash about her… and saying bad things about her… yeah FUCK ‘EM.
CHEETO, CHEETO
A NACHO-CHEESE DORITO
NOTHING LIKE A FRITO
I JUST WANNA EAT-OOOOOOOO
sorry. capslock was on.
Yes she does indeed like her Cheetos.
That’s why she had trouble losing the weight from Sean and why she’ll never lose the weight from this one.
Her weight can only go up from here.
Kriste Alley look out there’ll be a new Jenny Craig spokes person soon.
LickyLicky… haha… ‘Fatte’ was fucking gold!
Damn that chick for posting a pre-hippo pic. Reminded me of a day I would have let her snow-ball me.
Former hot jailbait,
Kills her career, will kill son.
Karma is a bitch.
A former pop singer: All that!
Of late grown incredibly fat
She now wants a gun
Tho’ she endangers her son
Won’t someone do something, and STAT!
TO KEVIN FEDERLINE: TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME
A pillowy female form
alights upon a mouth
sprinkled with hair
The dark warmth of
man nipples
like coffee beans
emerging through a thin white shirt.
Oily velvet crest
wound tightly like rope.
Menthol ribbons of smoke
embrace me.
At once
it is over.
Now I smell like spunk.
Ah, yous guyz!
I wish I could rhyme…all the time
sweetcheeks…that was just…so…beautiful. *sobs*
The picture appears to be from the shoot for her “Do Somethin” video (circa 2004)…those chicks ride around with her in the pink Hummer (it flies around in the clouds). She does a lot of pelvic thrusting in her undies and such in the video, pretends to be some kinda hard rockstar chick…the song features some really outstanding lyrics (um, not):
a sample-
“Somebody give me my truck
So I can ride on the clouds
So I can turn up the bass like
Somebody pass my guitar
So I can look like a star
And spend this cash like…”
Yeah, it’s that bad.
The Dream is Over: A Haiku for Britney
I like to binge on
Hot beef and menthols in bed
With my doomed baby.
hahaha oh man poor fans, they were the ones that made her rich
oh well.
56 clue
i did write it
brittney has a boy inside her
that makes her do stuff
she thought it was like a guardian angel
but i switched that because of the child abuse
so brittney
still not an apology
here or asd?
cos i’m setting a time limit
on you
and as you know
im already outside time
so how long would you like
a 2000 year era
365 day years
52 weeks
12 months
oooo shiney
something switched in there
the time limit?
[where were we?]
12 months
no back to weeks
7 days
five working days
leaving TWO rest days
and do you rest?
or do you have a mobile glued to your ear, tv on full blast, radio on
ipod on
noise to drown out the sound of your baby
asking for love
yes thats the final switch [for now]
your babies are more important than you
got lost somewhere in the thatcher era
you have to look after the children of the world
the children are your future
it determines the number iof iteratiuons
to adjust the program and get it right
so its not 7 days
24 hours
60 minutes
60 seconds
100 miliseconds
and there we switched to the metric system
cos in 3d, its just easier
in 3d you get 0 to 9
those are the only numbers youve got
well unless you learn to speak hexadecimal
its a shorthand for higer numberds
hidden numbers?
in the next dimension
we extened you 10 digits to 16
but you can only see 8
as the others are in a direction
that you cant quite see
althogh i can *feel* you looking out from behind these eyes
and my fear of spiders
is where i hid me
the 4d guy you thing of as sog
but actually i’m him either
i’m and so much higher, you cannot even imagin or comprehend yet
to i’m still waiting for an apology
b*tch :)
you dhave no choice
i could call be boy
[switch]
actually it is your choice
its after midnight
so i must still be here
and you said no
but flipped
so if you negate her peom
and read it as her boy inside
it is a message from boy TO *to* her
not from her
are we nearly there yet?
I’m sure if I smoked some weed, post 92 would be more interesting and meaningful.
yeah #4 stream of conciousness is a writing style, it’s not her term.. you give her too much credit
For Britney:
Super Low IQ Haiku
Who are you flipping off?
… your fans? We thought you liked us.
We were fuckin’ wrong.
You love yourself more
than the baby you carry
now, you need a gun
That is what we need
Ma Barker and her cronies
advising young moms
By the way Britney
don’t ever quit your day job
Oops! Guess I forgot
you already did
when you delivered Fed’s spawn
(Still, a cute, lil’ kid)
We must save Sean P.
from your greasy Cheetoh grip
before you both slip!
(c2006 Miss Hunnybytes)
The new guard, Rico
He is so very hot
Is he not?
Kev, you can rot,
Go smoke your pot.
I’ve got a new man.
Paparazzi, go leap
My new man’s no creep
Don’t you dare speak!
Quiet, Sean’s asleep
and we’re bleepity-bleep,
Me and my new man.
So bye-bye kevie-fed,
Wish you were dead
What was in your head
You really stunk in bed
Is my face red!
But i’ve got my new man
Rico loves my fat
He’s a cool cat
Watched me as I sat
Laughed when I spat:
“This is why I need a bat.”
I’m lovin’ my new man.
Rico thinks SP
Will surely die if he
Gives him a quick knee.
Not like silly ol’ me!
Who failed for all to see.
But not my new man.
**This is for everyone who thinks I won’t kill Sean P. — Brit
What are you people trying to prove by writing all these “poems?” That you’re just as good as Britney Spears?
Post it on your MySpace pages and leave it out of this, Emos.
Starmaker, thank you. That haiku. I was eating a coffee candy and spit brown tobaccy-looking spit all over the screen.
I swear, it was a coffee Nips, not cinnamon Redman.
74 [extract from the full poem]
You trick me one, twice and now it
omg did you just read that and get to my post. You are one sorry ass mofo.