Britney Spears posted a poem on her official site Saturday which she later took down and put back up. Sources are reporting that it’s directed towards Kevin Federline because it sounds angry and their marriage is supposedly on the rocks, but a note at the bottom of the poem says: “This is for everyone who thinks they know me…” and includes a shot of her and some girls giving the finger. Which I can only interpret to mean she hates her fans and wants them to leave her alone. And fuck off. And die. I guess I’d be pretty angry too if I was married to Joe Dirt and my plans to kill my baby were thwarted by that meddlesome paparazzi. I hear at the end they pull off her face and it was really just Old Man Jenkins all along.
Britney Spears writes poetry
May 25th, 2006 // 128 Comments
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uberfrau666 | May 25, 2006 at 3:06 pm
that is obviously an OLD photo of her!
pinky_nip | May 25, 2006 at 3:07 pm
THAT’S IT! I’ll never buy another album of her’s again. I’m so offended. *major sarcasm*
uberfrau666 | May 25, 2006 at 3:07 pm
oops, i almost forgot the esteemed ‘superficial’ ending…
TCLTC
BrianMolko | May 25, 2006 at 3:09 pm
I love how she tries to make it sound intelligent by giving it a pseudo-philosophical title ‘The Stream of Consciousness’ when basically it’s whiney I-married-the-wrong-guy-he-sucks poetry, I’m a poet and I’ve seen 13 year old emo girls write poetry. Someone also needs to teach her how to be subtle.
CruisingForCock | May 25, 2006 at 3:10 pm
I’m kind of a big deal
BrianMolko | May 25, 2006 at 3:10 pm
write better poetry*
EvilFiend | May 25, 2006 at 3:10 pm
now if she could only give k-fed the same jester…
Geno | May 25, 2006 at 3:11 pm
Her CDs are quickly becomming Bargain Bin material. $9.99? $7.99? $0.99?
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/
pinky_nip | May 25, 2006 at 3:11 pm
I’m so mad,
what will I do,
I hope my husband,
slips in poo
I thought we were amigos
but now I only have cheetos
*giving finger*
BSfan | May 25, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Wow how old is that shot?
And who the they flipping off?
And why is it on her fan site?
CruisingForCock | May 25, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Thanks SF, now I have to admit that I actually went to her website.
leahdeadly | May 25, 2006 at 3:16 pm
#9 Awesome.
Does anyone have the actual poem? I bet it’s pure gold.
aivilo | May 25, 2006 at 3:17 pm
ew, my god. she needs to get over it since it was HER FANS that made her famous. i’m guessing she’s all pissed off since everybody figured out about her baby-killing scheme. & we do know her…she’s a white trash skank.
Grphdesi23 | May 25, 2006 at 3:18 pm
Here is Britney’s actual poem
No more chains
That you gave me
Enough of pain
Manipulation is the key
They screw it in
Because you
Dr.Rokter | May 25, 2006 at 3:20 pm
That poem was AWESOME!
Writing words
takes lots of time
must make sure
a few of them rhyme
Actually going to her site and reading this drivel in its entirety made me sort of feel like I let somebody kick me in the nuts. Getting flipped off afterwards is just the icing.
pinky_nip | May 25, 2006 at 3:21 pm
I bet she initially drafted this in her Hello Kitty diary.
Grphdesi23 | May 25, 2006 at 3:21 pm
That rendition of Birtney’s poem I got off MSNBC.com
After looking at Britney’s site, I find there is more.
Sorry.
Xopher.tm | May 25, 2006 at 3:24 pm
Don’t worry; the rest is just as, er… it’s more of the same anyway.
kaileykat | May 25, 2006 at 3:24 pm
Hmmm. Maybe she dropped the Tater Tot on his head so that he wouldn’t realize when he’s a little older that he’s smarter than both mom and dad put together.
Poor Britney . . . it’s not the same now that you’ve lost your killer body, is it?
pinky_nip | May 25, 2006 at 3:27 pm
She reminds me of every girl in Junior High/High School that had to cry at every dance. And all her friends sat around her and “comforted” her. I hated those chicks.
Anyway, I call it CADS (crying at dance syndrome). Worse case scenerio is CAPS (crying at Prom syndrome)
leahdeadly | May 25, 2006 at 3:27 pm
manipulation is the key?
wtf?
BSfan | May 25, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Atleast maybe now she’ll dump Kevin…. *stretches for funny Kevin Federline name change*… Meh I’ve got nuthin.
UNWASHEDMASSES | May 25, 2006 at 3:39 pm
We do know you Britney. You are of the species Whiteus Trashus. Your kind have an ingrained fondness for tractor pulls, NASCAR, WWE Wrestling, Cheetos, marijuana and incest. You generally make terrible parents, often successfully raising juvenile delinquents. The females tend toward either straight crackers or wiggers when seeking a mate. You practice poor hygiene and collect STDs like some people collect coins. Were it not for your substantial income (culled by the exploitation of America’s impressionable youth and the selling of your ass), you would be fat(ter), dumb(er), and happy in a double-wide. I won’t even address the artistic merit of the poetry (or lack thereof), but will address the hand gesture offered by you and your bought friends – fuck you, Britney, enjoy the downward spiral.
HollyJ | May 25, 2006 at 3:43 pm
LOL@15
In honor of her break-taking poetic talent, it’s time for another installment of “Haikus for Superstars” …
Licks Cheetoh finger
As KFed mounts her dunghole:
“Ho, Call me daddy!”
86 | May 25, 2006 at 3:45 pm
9 thats hilarious!
Sue me, I liked it. I hope this means she’s come to her senses about her baby daddy. He sucks cock!
Iambananas | May 25, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Okay… that’s a good way of being mean! She’s washed up, but most importantly… SHES A TERRABLE MOTHER!! She is by far the worst mother everywhere. Okay, I don’t “think I know her”, but I know the proof of photos.
Iambananas | May 25, 2006 at 3:56 pm
married to Joe Dirt and my plans to kill my baby were thwarted …
Okay, taht’s funny and priceless!!!
Zanna | May 25, 2006 at 3:58 pm
I think it’s time to use the word contagious in a sentence.
Contagious.
“It’s going to take this cunt ages to get her career back on track if she is going to keep writing shit like that”.
Contagious.
Iambananas | May 25, 2006 at 4:00 pm
There’s a picture of her giving the finger to her fans… but at the bottom it says…
Buy Britney’s fragerange, Curious.
The only thing I’m curious about is what kind of person would buy a product from her when she disrespects everyone who liked her at one point… Hmmm… maybe a bad carreer move? Pssibly… maybe a pub. stunt? Mosy likely.
Iambananas | May 25, 2006 at 4:00 pm
That picture must be old… she’s thin.
Spindoc | May 25, 2006 at 4:01 pm
There are cave Paintings that are not as old as that photo of her.
Iambananas | May 25, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Especially my son
You should bow down
First of all.. her son isn’tbetter than ANY other baby.. and second, if he’s so great, why’s she trying to kill him?
HeeHaw | May 25, 2006 at 4:03 pm
It’s really annoying when people don’t take responsibility for their reeeeeaaaaally bad choices in life.
And for walking around barefoot in gas station bathrooms.
sara1beth2 | May 25, 2006 at 4:04 pm
this is what i feel like when i am behind the short bus at a stop light and the kids on it flip me off. awwwww, how cute, the tard flipped me off.
tclt <=========3
Iambananas | May 25, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Writing words
takes lots of time
must make sure
a few of them rhyme
sara1beth2 | May 25, 2006 at 4:07 pm
speaking of short bus
Grphdesi23 | May 25, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Hasn’t anyone told Britney that wine isn’t juice?
kittyontheprowl | May 25, 2006 at 4:09 pm
My Son Sean
My son Sean
likes string beans
is not mean
I try to keep him clean
sometimes with my jeans
He fell on his head
so I put him to bed
I didn’t name him Fred
I named him Sean instead
his hair is not red
he tastes like rye bread
I tied Kevin’s penis
in a great big knot
it’s totally his fault
that I’m no longer hot
Thanks y’all, I’m here all week.
86 | May 25, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Guys, that photo was from her days on Mickey Mouse club.
peep | May 25, 2006 at 4:14 pm
she is so over….the reason why people can’t get enough of her because she makes us ALL feel better about ourselves…..great example of scraping the bottom…no matter what kind of wad you are carrying….
Italian Stallion | May 25, 2006 at 4:14 pm
My baby Sean is a crying
I drop him on his head
But the bitch ain’t dieing
I’m not saying I like to kill
But my dumbass should have been on the pill
Stop making fun of my love for the Cheeto
The fatter I get the more love from the negros
I never said I was a great singer
So to all you haters I give you the finger…….
PapaHotNuts | May 25, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Rose are red
Violets are blue
I hope Brittany dies in a fire.
edb87 | May 25, 2006 at 4:19 pm
I hear at the end they pull off her face and it was really just Old Man Jenkins all along.
And she would’ve got away with it too if it wasn’t for them meddling kids!
Brak | May 25, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Clearly a pre-Federline photograph — her body doesn’t look all that haggard. Trashy… but not full of rich, creamy Land O Lakes butter.
Giggles | May 25, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Wow. Britney really shows class. I had been thinking she was just a skank.
gogoboots | May 25, 2006 at 4:29 pm
Yeah it’s like the worst lyrics of the century…maybe she should not show us the horror that is her mind anymore…
pinky_nip | May 25, 2006 at 4:29 pm
“Stop making fun of my love for the Cheeto
The fatter I get the more love from the negros”
Damn you Stallion! LOL
Saucie | May 25, 2006 at 4:31 pm
I know my Cheetos love me
How do I know?
‘Cause my Chester told me so
He loves the way I look
In my fat pants
And when I do the Cheeto dance
YEAH
(Thrusts cheese encrusted middle finger at adoring pre-teen fans)
gogoboots | May 25, 2006 at 4:31 pm
There was a part about the sins of the father, what happened to it…that was probably the only redeeming quality about the entire shitty poem…the other being that I wished I had never set eyes on it…
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 25, 2006 at 4:33 pm
fragerange?