Listen up. Send the piñata back. Cancel the caterers. Britney Spears will probably get her kids back soon. Her lawyers talked to the press today about the reasons for the temporary loss of custody, and it looks like things aren’t that scandalous. Reuters reports:
Spears’s attorney, Sorrell Trope, told People magazine that they were not able to prove compliance.
“Specifically the judge ordered that by 10 a.m. (Monday) morning, both parties show valid California driving licenses. I’ve been unable to produce evidence of that,” he said.
Trope said another reason behind the judge’s temporary custody ruling “was a claim by Mr. Federline’s attorney that she had not complied with a previous order the court had made – before I came on board (as lawyer) — about having a random drug and alcohol test.”
“There’s no evidence that she actually failed a test,” he added.
So Britney Spears pretty much couldn’t pee in cup or stand in line at the DMV within a reasonable amount of time in order to maintain custody of her children. I wonder what her thought process was like: Hmm, I could either pee in a cup this morning or lose my kids. Damn, this is really hard. If I pee in the cup, that means I might be late to McDonald’s and miss out on a McMuffin. But if I don’t go, they take my kids. What do I love more? Eggs and bacon on an English muffin or my own children? Do other moms have to make tough decisions like this? Probably not. It only happens to me because I’m Britney, bitch.
banana | October 2, 2007 at 4:47 pm
first perhaps??? xxx
banana | October 2, 2007 at 4:48 pm
though that is good news :)
steve | October 2, 2007 at 4:49 pm
I can’t quit you, Fish! Funny stuff.
Britney is just plain sad. I believe she WANTS to give up her kids. You can’t tell me that any concerned mom would go out of her way to defy court orders like that.
steve | October 2, 2007 at 4:52 pm
for those interested, this in from TMZ:
TMZ has obtained this photo of Britney Spears out in Los Angeles — just hours after a judge ordered physical custody of her two sons be given to her ex, Kevin Federline. Hello? Anyone home?!
Photogs caught Britney leaving the swank Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills tonight, in a car with a driver. Ding dang y’all, guess mah license isn’t valeridated after alls! Now if only I could figured out how to put this here seat belter on!
Notice the baby shoes hanging from the rear view mirror. Memories.
Cowgirlhamburglar | October 2, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Pee in a cup? Is that from McDonald’s too? Why doesn’t she just give up the domestic kids and go all “import” on us and adopt some African kidlets. I bet people would be much easier on her then!
gil | October 2, 2007 at 4:55 pm
So, she’ll pee in a cup and fail the test, with about 10 different drugs detected. I guess her new lawyer left that part out.
riiiiight | October 2, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Who fuckin cares?? WHO?
britcrit | October 2, 2007 at 4:55 pm
BRITNEY’S FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
FUck I hate this bullshit | October 2, 2007 at 4:56 pm
http://kokshoor.com/opinion/Superficial_Hollywood_bullshit_is_responsible_for_the_decline_of_western_society
vogue | October 2, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Glad to see she hasn’t lost her fashion sense in all the grief she’s experiencing. Guess the boots must be in for re- soling.
And really, does anyone believe what celebrity lawyers say?
FRIST!!! | October 2, 2007 at 5:00 pm
What the Holy HELL is she wearing now???!!?!
Smush | October 2, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Haha, Pictures 6 & 7 look like Mini Britney; the midget Britney impersonator. Anyways, it seems the real Brit was more concerned over possibly losing her ability to drive than losing her kids…What? I can’t drive anymore?! Get me to the dmv NOW! But all that other stuff the judge ordered me to do in order to keep my chitlin?…blah, blah, blah, drug tests, blah, blah, blah, lose custody, blah, blah, blah, parent schmarent classes; yeh, yeh, yeh, whatever. Is there a Starbucks on the way to the dmv? I could use me a Frap!
FRIST!!! | October 2, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Look at her, all carrying a WHITE pocketbook after Labor Day! White Trash Ho!!!
Fashion Sheriff Cowgirl | October 2, 2007 at 5:02 pm
OK FRIST–I have to confess she is wearing my curtains! I tried to stop her,but she went all “Gone with the wind” on me then mentioned fashioning something for her little dog too! No mention of any kids though!
Spongebob Gangsta | October 2, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Her hat mascot represents her brain.
adeliza | October 2, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Hey- What do Clinton and Stacy say about white pocket books? We got the ok on the white shoes.
What ever- she is one nasty haglet.
I bet she doesn’t take her kids back.
Hemlock Queen | October 2, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Well, this explains her nonchalance over the whole matter. She has a new, and hopefully better lawyer. The last one obviously sucked. With the right lawyer you can get out of anything. Just look at Blohan, Michael Jackson, OJ to name a few. I hope this one is a shark.
And why do I want Brit Brit to have her kids, even with the mounting evidence of her bad parenting skills? Because I hate the golddigger more. They’re both drug addicts, so what’s really the difference?
wedgeone | October 2, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Not surprised that Britney’s looking much better. Kids are worthless whiny pains in the ass. We pay way too much attention to them, and prioritize them above all else for absolutely no valid reason (‘the children! the children! what about THE CHILDREN!?!?!”). Fuck her two tardboys, let their tarddad waste his life on them. Britney needs to move on, put the past behind her, and not look back.
freakwad | October 2, 2007 at 5:07 pm
wtf.
FRIST!!! | October 2, 2007 at 5:15 pm
#18 wow I thought I was the only one that thought that way.
Hemlock Queen | October 2, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Where is TT ya’ll?
Nicole | October 2, 2007 at 5:19 pm
It might be more difficult for her if the boys didn’t look so dumb. It’s no joke, they really do look mentally retarded in every pictures. These days they do all sorts of prenatal testing to see if you’re carrying a Down Syndrome baby, in case you want to kill it before it gets out. What’s the big difference with killing it after it gets out? Britney’s only leaving them with their dad, not leaving them at the side of the road or drowning them in the bathtub. I think she’s doing more than she needs to, given how defective her kids are.
BritneySpears | October 2, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Hey Fish,
I don’t want my kids back. I have no idea who makes up this shit. IF some judge tries to give me my kids back I’ll give anyone here a million dollars to take them. Kids are useless. They cry at nightclubs. If I leave in the car they might cook and then I’d be arrested. The good thing about kids is that they crap into diapers unlike my dog. I just wanna make them. I don’t actually want them.
I love you all,
Britney
Meow | October 2, 2007 at 5:27 pm
She looks like a redneck version of Courtney Love. She should learn to play guitar for her comeback.
itspat | October 2, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Kevin is by far the better redneck parent. By all reports, he’s already taught the boys how to light their farts. And that’s what made Britney fall in love with him in the first place.
Kristen Dei from LA (Louisiana that is) | October 2, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Birtney spears is my idle i wish i could be jest like here i wish everone wuld jest live here along she is doing the best she cane undur the surcumstanses please everyone she has a famely and childs please jest leave here alone you doesnt even no here
happypappy? | October 2, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Wedgeone, people prioritize their children above all else because as a society we owe it to those who can’t stand up for themselves to be their voice. Certain categories of adults are more vulnerable than the public at large, and children are the most vulnerable of all. I’m not surprised Britney looks better either; she never wanted to be a mom, and now she’s been relieved of her burden. No, she only wanted to have the children then leave the raising of them to anyone but herself.
To have children and then continually demonstrate how much you hate being a parent is the most selfish thing a person can do, and as her children grow up, she will get what’s coming to her-their scorn.
wedgeone | October 2, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Perfect illustration of my point. 20 cc of buzzkill, happypappy, stat! Try to develop an independent identity someday.
bob douche | October 2, 2007 at 5:57 pm
“”There’s no evidence that she actually failed a test,” he added.
There’s no evidence that she failed a drug test because she never TOOK the court-ordered test…which in the court’s eyes is a failure to participate with the law.
boo | October 2, 2007 at 6:22 pm
People think she looks BETTER in these pictures? I think she looks like Jay Leno.
redsonja1313 | October 2, 2007 at 6:37 pm
lets be real…both those kids look like they suffer from a mild case of fetal alcohol syndrome, but then again so does K-Fed. Second, no way she wanted to keep those kids or she would have at least used a driver. 3rd lets be real, Shar Jackson and Brits Mom are quitely raising those kids, not a great scenario as Brit’s mom fucked her up, but so far Shar has not proven to be a completed idiot. So in my book they are better off.
lol | October 2, 2007 at 6:48 pm
the ‘it’s britney bitch’ additions always crack me up.
kids are a product of reproduction. anyone can do it, it’s not special, it’s not a miracle, they’re not little treasures. feed them water them they grow pet them, whatever, done and done. no big deal
vernita green | October 2, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Did no one else see the giant sweat stains under her right armpit? Mmmm.
Vernita Green | October 2, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Do you think famous people actually ever look at this site and its comments? That would be cool — if Britney is as addicted to this site as I am, I love her. And by ‘love her’ I mean ‘I will cut out my ovaries’.
Rebecca | October 2, 2007 at 7:06 pm
There’s shouldn’t be an apostrophe in “moms”–an apostrophe followed by an “s” indicates ownership, not a plural form. fyi…
moobs | October 2, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Hey Kristen Dei from LA (Louisiana that is)
Word from the wise : STAY IN SCHOOL!
Jesse | October 2, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Ya’ll mean SKOOL, rayt?
TS | October 2, 2007 at 8:01 pm
#1, what does that have to do with anything?
bigislandgrrl | October 2, 2007 at 8:02 pm
#18, #20 – apparently there are more of us than we thought! I totally feel that way too, but thats why I have the brains to use BIRTH CONTROL, and not bring rug rats into this world if i dont want them! That backwards ass trailer slut was never taught what BC is….she thought as long as she was on top, gravity would do the rest.
Trailer trash has been. Nothing more.
mabbo | October 2, 2007 at 8:15 pm
I agree. Who really cares about those kids? The public could care less…they just use the kids as an excuse to beat up on Britney as much as possible. K-Fed only wants ‘em for the extra money. And I’m pretty sure Brit feels like they are standing in her way of getting her career back. Why oh why did she have kids so soon! I hate kids, but at least I have the sense to say “I hate kids and I will never have any!”.
BunnyButt | October 2, 2007 at 8:35 pm
@24, you mean Courtney Love ISN’T a redneck??!?!?
Ding Dang | October 2, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Brit! Get your nails done!!!! Expensive dresses are not going to make up for your lack of grooming!!!! Geez, Louise!! Either do it yourself or go it a mani and pedi. You look gross. Forget the weave and get a wig. Your huge forehead needs some bangs, girl. Stop thinking you know best, BECAUSE YOU DON’T! Run, don’t walk to the nearest makeover.
MikeyB | October 2, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha
“It’s Britney, Bitch!” Put down the whopper and give your kids a call. Or just order another whopper with a side of cocaine, super sized. Wait BK doesn’t serve that? What is this Cali or friggen Mongolia? Either or.
CourtneyJade | October 2, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Holy shit!!!!! I cannot stop laughing. “I’m Britney, bitch!” Classic! I love you.
holly | October 2, 2007 at 9:57 pm
she’s a nasty pig that dresses like bag lady. she doesn’t deserve those kids. and whats with the butt ugly hats?
George | October 2, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Once you have kids your life is over. At first they cry all night long, and you never get any sleep. Then they nickel and dime you to death. Finally, they grow up and hate you for running their life and want to borrow money.
cookie monsta | October 2, 2007 at 11:27 pm
this here bush pig is RELIEVED to be child free ……
The Regulator | October 3, 2007 at 12:20 am
#22, her kids look that way because she herself has some kind of genetic mutation. Her eyes droop, and she has the biggest, floppiest ears I’ve ever seen.
Having said that, she is pure evil for abandoning her children. Some people think it’s funny, but just wait for 16-17 years to pass and those poor little boys whom Mama didn’t want become prolific serial killers.
Bill Clinton | October 3, 2007 at 12:36 am
Let’s hope this was a wake up call for Brit. She does not want her kids to turn out like…well,
Me.
Bill
IWONKY | October 3, 2007 at 1:30 am
WORLD’S GREATEST TRAINWRECK