Britney Spears will not receive special treatment

January 14th, 2008 // 51 Comments

Britney Spears is not on the good side of the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department. Officers have been telling the media that Britney will not receive extra protection and will be on her own getting into the courtroom. That is if she actually shows. Kevin is already there, and his lawyers have warned Britney about the importance of today’s hearing. OK! Magazine reports:

The officer also revealed to OK! that no extra police protection will be provided for the pop star. And while he wouldn’t go into the reason for the lack of special treatment, it’s rumored that Brit-Brit’s failure to cooperate in the past by following basic security procedures has left cops, who are also videotaping the goings-on outside the courthouse in case anything gets out of hand, unwilling to go the extra mile.

I’m pretty sure inside the courtroom there’s at least 50 cops, a guy in a safari hat with a tranquilizer gun and a tank. Although, I’m basing this on the picture I drew on the back of the stock report. I would’ve put an X-wing fighter in the jury box but my boss confiscated my box of crayons. Fortunately I keep a magic marker taped to my inner thigh. Wait, that’s not a marker…


  1. mer

    She’s not going to show up. She’s insane and needs to be fitted for a straitjacket.

  2. Jade

    Poor girl

  3. Vince Lombardi

    “Special” treatment is the one thing she *does* deserve… special bus, special helmet, special room with padded walls, special overly-long white smock with buckles.

  4. PunkA

    She is in her own little bubble, where an ugly Arab man is hot and smart, Starbucks rules the galaxy, and chalupas are not just for breakfast. That and where she is the queen of the nudist clowns.

    She will nto show because the queen does not take orders from any judge. What da hell?

  5. The dumb bitch was suppose to be at court by 9:30 and is still not there. What a surprise!!

  6. Spicky Spickerson

    I cannot WAIT to hear what happens in three hours. BRB….

  7. Matthew

    if I were the judge I will put her to rehab and warn her of the tragic life of anna nicole smith she is heading down that path anyway

  8. havoc

    As much as I hate Britney, I hate cops more….


  9. britney suicide watch

    she could care less. the only one of her personalities that actually cares about those kids is the one that is suppressed. all her other crazies beat the shit out of it

  10. Jumpin_J

    Reports are already coming out that she’s a no show. Kiss the cookoo bird’s kids bub-bye.

  11. Spicky Spickerson

    10 – as if she give a holy shit whether she sees those two water-headed kids of hers……(even I can’t seriously leave it at that…poor kiddies).

    We’ll see her in a couple of hears sporting Howard the Duck lips, huge tetas, and husband number 7.

  12. Gerald_Tarrant

    Maybe she is just faking her own court appearance. She got death and court appearance confused, dang y’all, them’s hard words.

  13. The Office Whore

    8- Havoc- sayin…

    And, I really have poor fashion sense… really…… and I don’t really give a fuck either……. .but, this… THIS, I wouldn’t even wear…..around the house….on the couch….sick….

  14. The White Urkele

    Nice nips! At least she isn’t wearing those freaking cowboy boots. Crazy is as crazy does.

  15. Harry

    Man…I love the T shirt, denim shorts, and Ugg boots look, but even her at this point can make that a turnoff.

  16. gertie

    why are her clothed stained shit man
    what a way to go

  17. p0nk

    Are “Hello Kitty mukluks” appropriate attire for custody hearings? We need clearly defined rules here people!

  18. sharpeidude

    Hopefully all this shit going on will finally push this bitch over the edge and they’ll find her OD’d and cold by tomorrow morning. Fuck this skank!

  19. Denise

    As much as I don’t understand Britney, I really don’t understand how the police can’t help her get to court. With all the papparazi following her, especially on big events like this on, you would think the police would want to control the situation. Not only for Britney, but for the safety of the public. If I were Britney, I would want to stay at home too. I really am amazed that she goes out at all. I would want to hide in my home forever if I were her. So, I blame the police for her not wanting to go into the media craziness that is probably tripled compared to her normal day activities.

  20. Tits McCholo

    WTF with those boots? What is with her horrible shoe taste? How can anyone, even a poor person, leave the house with these on? If I was homeless, I’d rather be barefoot than be seen dead in the mission with these monstrosities on!

  21. Stacey

    #19 – She doesn’t seem to need extra security to pick up the Chalupas and Starbucks, or for the other 5 times a day she heads out for snacks

  22. Jimbooooo!

    “Britney Spears will not receive special treatment”

    Nor will she receive her children.


  23. If she does off herself, I hope she doesn’t OD. I mean, who likes to waste perfectly good drugs?

  24. El-Coyote

    Well, no more special than repeated hearing after hearing after hearing which she can skip and skip and skip….

    If this bitch was a trailer parker… OK, if this bitch were poor and a trailer parker, the case would have been closed 3 hearings ago.

    Just pull the plug on this skank and get it over with….

  25. The Beer Baron

    She dresses like a stripper on a day off.

  26. oly

    I love those boots. any idea of where to get them online??

  27. Spicky Spickerson

    Is it me or does she have a really weirdly shaped body? It just doesn’t make sense. She looks like she has stubby legs.

  28. ph7

    #25, when you order the boots online, make sure you specify the blood/shit stains on the right boot, just like Brits.

  29. LL

    Britney does not have time to go to court because she’s busy studying Wile E. Coyote cartoons for pointers on how to get her kids back. It involves a rocket strapped to her back, a seesaw-like device and a giant boulder.

    See, she has plan. And you all thought she was stupid.

  30. The Beer Baron

    #29-She then wanted to put all her money in Acme stock cause she thought it was a “real awesome company who cares about its products and clients.”

  31. moobs

    good, she needs some harsh “reality” in her life.

    taking away her fame and fortune would be the sweetest reality, but that ain’t gonna happen.. taking a bite away from her inflated delusional view of self importance will have to be close enough, i guess.

  32. I’m so going to call Apoths wife and let her know what he’s up to all day online. Someone sent me his work link a while ago. (816)556-2654. I’m going to call there to. Hopefully his boss will answer. I bet Apotheosis sounds like a weeny

    Heck since they put the address in we should mail Apotheosis woman all of the gross shit he posts about sex and to women. Especially those young single girls. Sickening. Poor Michelle

    DE SOTO, KS 66018 (913) 583-3505

  33. Vince Lombardi

    I’m sure the decision not to provide her with security escort is based on the fact that no one ever….. and The Vince means EVER….. knows when she’s going to show up. So you have 5-20 extra deputies on OT standing around sucking up taxpayer dollars. Or you take 5-20 deputies from their important duties to make sure Lil Miss Chalupa-Butt gets from Limo A to Courtroom B.

    Screw her. I don’t care anymore. Neither of those kids is going to get a decent upbringing, regardless of who gets custody, and they’re going to end up just as messed up as their mother. I’ve seen ghetto children who eat one meal a day of Cheetos and orange soda who stand a better chance of being less maladjusted. Those kids should be just donated to science to live in a cage and be studied. At least they’d get someone who pretends to care about them. When they get too big for the cage, feed them to a tiger. It would be a mercy killing. Trust me.

  34. CJ

    She’s on record as being crazy…mentally unstable…she already is guaranteed special treatment…crazy like a fox.

  35. D. Richards (Surgeon.)

    Britney can do anything in her boots. The boots come standard with built-in Judo. She can levitate through crosswalks. There’s even a video circulating on Youtube showing an inebriated Britney Spears walking on water.

    Britney’s boots are made of an iridium core that remains flexable, yet highly resistant to the tremendous heat of reentering the Earth’s atmosphere from space; and are fueled by an atomic reaction. The hydrogen powered boots are lined with Lays potato chips for added comfort.

    The boots, model TT86H, were designed by the Jet Propulsion laboratory in Pasedena.

  36. S. Wonder

    Her boobs look like a blind man’s cane, pointing from side to side.

  37. Apotheosis's Wife's Fan Club

    32: HUH?!
    Define “karma”.

  38. Wonder if she has showed up for today’s court hearing yet? Maybe there is a long line at Starbucks or something.

  39. Mandy

    HA! They just reported that pot was found in Kevin Federline’s car and then in his sock! His sock – what is he, still in high school? I love this. “Team KFed” people should be shot.

  40. FromOutOfNoWhere

    I have to admit she is looking damn fine.

  41. Shannon

    Knowing Britney, attempting to fake her own death would result in the real thing, seeing as she is one who doesn’t seem to catch on to subtleties.

    So I’m all for it…

  42. whackjob

    re #35: Hey Doc, you forgot that although the boots are highly technologically advanced, engineers were not able to design any anti-skank stank capabilities.

    You know them boots fucking smell to high-heaven. Even the dogs roll up their noses and check their assholes to see whats-what.

  43. AnonymousPerson

    This picture was taken in Studio City. I was there standing next to the escalator (Sunday Jan. 13). when Britney walked out of “Gaucho Grill” Restaurant. Pathetic people, including many stupid 18 year old girls happily applauded and yelled “I LOVE YOU BRITNEY!”

  44. Victoria

    God I hate this photo set. Her crotch looks like it’s gobbling her shorts up.

  45. blah

    HELLO BRITNEY: You’re rich. Get a fucking boob lift. seriously. You’re not hot. Help your cleavage. It’s screaming for it.
    PS, when you’re a pop star, your nipples aren’t supposed to point to the floor.
    God or just kill yourself already, Please? We’re tired of waiting for it.

  46. nice

    Believe or not, Britney will still rock the year 2008. I am big Britney fan. Just saw her profile on millionaire dating site called last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.

  47. Anonymous

    Hey nice:

    Hi there, I’m a loser with no life. I’m paid $3.50 per hour to post idiotic drivel, directing you to some lame dating website that takes your money and gives you nothing in return. I have no job, so I sit around all day and post this garbage on as many websites as I can under many different aliases. I don’t have any friends, so I must rely on these moronic posts to make myself feel better about myself. My mother hates me and dropped me on my head as a child. You can find me at I’
    I heard Jamie Lynn Spears met her older man, I mean match, at this site. and all those other fucking dating sites that get spammed around here are all registered to this asshole. Du Qiang 800 West El Camino Real, #180 Mountain View, California 94040 United States 650-906-0405

  48. Morticia

    Does she ever NOT spill food all over the front of her shirt? Gawd she’s a dumbass.

  49. Angelia

    Okay, first of all….GIRL: PUT ON A BRA!!!! This poptart makes enough money, you would think she could atleast afford a decent bra! And what is with the pink boots? First of all, I am sure we are all sick of seeing these worn-out pink boots that look like they have an oil or grease stain on the right toe….maybe it’s BBQ sauce, but I don’t want to spend too much time speculating on WHAT that stain might be! And…is that the sales tag hanging on the right boot????? Okay, they are stained, we have seen them a million times on her feet…is anyone seriously going to believe that they are NEW???? Please, for God’s sake: buy a new pair of un-stained boots Brit!! Or, at the very least, take the price tag of the ones you are wearing and get some Tide-to-go on that ugly stain STAT!!!!

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