Britney Spears: Who keeps giving her the keys?!

April 14th, 2008 // 20 Comments

Two stories in a row about Britney? I was enjoying the long blissful period since that’s happened. But, in all actuality, Britney didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. She just got into her Mercedes and hit somebody on the freeway reminding us that Britney + wheels = OH, GOD, NO! I’M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE! People reports:

According to the accident report, “The collision occurred when the driver of the Mercedes, driving in the #3 lane, in stop and go traffic failed to observe the vehicle directly ahead of her come to a complete stop. She attempted to brake but failed to stop her vehicle prior to colliding into the rear of the Nissan [in front of her].”

Just to emphasize the point of how Britney Spears and vehicles are a ticket to Holy Shit-town, one time she tried to ride a bike, next thing you know, POW! 9/11. True story.

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Comments (20)

  1. duck | April 14, 2008 at 10:14 am

    she looks like a turducken

    Reply
  2. tina | April 14, 2008 at 10:14 am

    She’s lonely and really needs a soul mate. I saw her profile with photos on Richsoulmate.com, where celebrities and wealthy singles hook up. She feels lonely, doesn’t she? Is she looking for a serious relationship or just for fun?

    Reply
  3. bakinmycake | April 14, 2008 at 10:14 am

    did er…

    Reply
  4. dave | April 14, 2008 at 10:19 am

    Hot stuff

    Reply
  5. imagination | April 14, 2008 at 10:26 am

    The question is, will Dr. Phil post HER bail when the time comes?

    Reply
  6. Carrie Anne King | April 14, 2008 at 10:39 am

    Old old old, But her hair is looking great!!

    Reply
  7. Auntie Kryst | April 14, 2008 at 10:44 am

    In her defense the Nissan she rear-ended was a Papa John’s delivery vehicle. Her cravings got the better of her.

    Reply
  8. Vince Lombardi | April 14, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Anything can happen when you wear your “Top Gun” sunglasses…. she probably thought the Papa John’s delivery guy was above the hard deck.

    Reply
  9. Spazz | April 14, 2008 at 10:54 am

    Holy shit, she is wearing her wedding ring. Please pass a law that bans her and K-Dirt from procreating again. No seriously.

    Reply
  10. mrs.t | April 14, 2008 at 10:54 am

    #7-No. Please tell me that I’m missing the sarcasm. That plastic My Pretty Pony hair is definitely not looking great.

    Reply
  11. Maverick | April 14, 2008 at 10:59 am

    I got tone!

    Reply
  12. Roy | April 14, 2008 at 11:46 am

    She is so rich.Mmmm, not her fan. I saw her profile on “SeekingRich.com” last week. “She is already in relationship with a young billionaire on our site”, according to the officials of that site.You can contact her on that site.

    Reply
  13. Sheila McDogginsmom | April 14, 2008 at 11:47 am

    can you imagine driving, minding your own business, and then the britney circus slams into the back of your car like kim kardashian’s ass on a dick.
    damn. that’s kharma for you though i guess

    Reply
  14. Harry Ballzack | April 14, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    Saaayy…”tina” – My pecker needs a soulmate. He’s rich and famous(no really)
    Could you come and wrap your lips around MY lonliness ?
    Hell, I’ll even give you YOUR OWN photo so you can display it anywhere you like.
    But do trust me on this one … he’s NOT looking for a relationship. Just some “fun”

    Reply
  15. Yo Momma | April 14, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    I HATE BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  16. Grunion | April 14, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    Yeeee haw Jester’s dead

    Reply
  17. FCS | April 14, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Britney is to driving what Lohan is to acting

    Reply
  18. 10head | April 14, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    I just wish she could get her face a little more greasy and reflective.

    Reply
  19. woodhorse | April 14, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    Awwww that’s so cute – her Dad caved and let her drive. Papa Spears for President!

    Reply
  20. Star | April 15, 2008 at 4:16 am

    Why has no one mentioned Britney’s freakishly high, man like hair line??

    Reply

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