Britney Spears: Who keeps giving her the keys?!

April 14th, 2008 // 20 Comments

Two stories in a row about Britney? I was enjoying the long blissful period since that’s happened. But, in all actuality, Britney didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. She just got into her Mercedes and hit somebody on the freeway reminding us that Britney + wheels = OH, GOD, NO! I’M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE! People reports:

According to the accident report, “The collision occurred when the driver of the Mercedes, driving in the #3 lane, in stop and go traffic failed to observe the vehicle directly ahead of her come to a complete stop. She attempted to brake but failed to stop her vehicle prior to colliding into the rear of the Nissan [in front of her].”

Just to emphasize the point of how Britney Spears and vehicles are a ticket to Holy Shit-town, one time she tried to ride a bike, next thing you know, POW! 9/11. True story.

Photos: Flynet

  1. duck

    she looks like a turducken

  2. tina

    She’s lonely and really needs a soul mate. I saw her profile with photos on, where celebrities and wealthy singles hook up. She feels lonely, doesn’t she? Is she looking for a serious relationship or just for fun?

  3. bakinmycake

    did er…

  4. dave

    Hot stuff

  5. imagination

    The question is, will Dr. Phil post HER bail when the time comes?

  6. Old old old, But her hair is looking great!!

  7. Auntie Kryst

    In her defense the Nissan she rear-ended was a Papa John’s delivery vehicle. Her cravings got the better of her.

  8. Vince Lombardi

    Anything can happen when you wear your “Top Gun” sunglasses…. she probably thought the Papa John’s delivery guy was above the hard deck.

  9. Spazz

    Holy shit, she is wearing her wedding ring. Please pass a law that bans her and K-Dirt from procreating again. No seriously.

  10. mrs.t

    #7-No. Please tell me that I’m missing the sarcasm. That plastic My Pretty Pony hair is definitely not looking great.

  11. Maverick

    I got tone!

  12. Roy

    She is so rich.Mmmm, not her fan. I saw her profile on “” last week. “She is already in relationship with a young billionaire on our site”, according to the officials of that site.You can contact her on that site.

  13. Sheila McDogginsmom

    can you imagine driving, minding your own business, and then the britney circus slams into the back of your car like kim kardashian’s ass on a dick.
    damn. that’s kharma for you though i guess

  14. Harry Ballzack

    Saaayy…”tina” – My pecker needs a soulmate. He’s rich and famous(no really)
    Could you come and wrap your lips around MY lonliness ?
    Hell, I’ll even give you YOUR OWN photo so you can display it anywhere you like.
    But do trust me on this one … he’s NOT looking for a relationship. Just some “fun”

  15. Yo Momma

    I HATE BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Grunion

    Yeeee haw Jester’s dead

  17. FCS

    Britney is to driving what Lohan is to acting

  18. 10head

    I just wish she could get her face a little more greasy and reflective.

  19. woodhorse

    Awwww that’s so cute – her Dad caved and let her drive. Papa Spears for President!

  20. Star

    Why has no one mentioned Britney’s freakishly high, man like hair line??

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