On the second day the creature returned. The villagers laid Whoppers and Frappucinos along the sand dunes hoping to pacify the beast. I looked down at my gun and wondered if mere bullets would be enough to preserve my hide. Then I heard its call:
“Y’AAALLLL”
Warm urine trickled down my leg as I ran to my Jeep like a man possessed. Would I be safe behind it’s metal frame? Or would the creature smell the Snickers bar tucked away in the glove box?
“Y’AAALLLL”
I looked down again at my gun then over my shoulder at the beast. I angrily threw the feeble sidearm into the bushes and hurried my pace. Suddenly, the air smelled of taco meat. The last thing I recalled was blackness and a sensation not unlike a bean-bag chair heated in an oven…
Photos: Splash News
Dear Paula, ummm it is spelled I,G,N,O,R,A,M,U,S you mindless incontenant sloppy twatted daughter of a slut and a whore-mongering alcoholic. I have my hair and abdomenal muscles. My father has all of his hair.
As to the penis, would you prefer it in your mouth (I would to shut you up), or ass? I am not going for the baby hole. I like a little friction. Just bring the booze please.
And don’t fall in love either. Just get off my bed and go the fuck home when I get off. Because when I am done with you I am done.
The only thing I need in a (young) woman is her orifices. I like quiet subservient types. You say one thing and betray your only station and you are (roughly) escorted out the door.
WOW…Paula I think you hit a nerve, Ya for sure you hit a nerve…Dont cry 202 it will be ok…As for you fucking anyone, I doubt that could ever happen…. I have a feeling you stink….yup thats it… Whats that?? your’e bald as well…ya thats a given..and escort you out what doo…r u are most likely homeless….hahahah shit your life sucks….your parents most likely hate you and I am just going to assume you are an only child….lol…i’m just kidding….hhaahahahhhahahha this site is beyond awesome….I love it….oh and one more thing… young women?? come on you are not fooling anyone…you like the bum hole for one reason only….ok ok i willl stop…awesome comments people keep up the good work…..lol…
Baby, I have all kinds of nerves and I would like to hit yours for you! I get laid when I want to. I make a call and go over and fuck. Really honestly it is that simple. I am good looking and in great shape and the lucky women I shove my manhood into should ( I am sure they do) thank their lucky stars for the honor of my dripping semen.
I have a nice home. Man style.
Yeah I like ‘em young and yes I reserve the bumhole (stupid British whore learn how to speak AMERICAN) for older “looser” women, such as yourself.
bahhahahahahaha oh my god….this is sooo awesome….you are gay, don’t deny it….i wish i was british…. old??..well if u consider 20 old..then yes i am old…lol….you like it “man style”..bum hole man style…. I know you are for sure old..thank you for confirming it….”man style”….tee hee heee….. p.s i’m just kidding with you…i love you….lol
Oh plz… Let her be just like she likes. If we never want to see Brit just like she was, we shouldn’t no judge her ev’ry way.
She is young, she makes mistakes, like ev’ry other teenager girls does.
She was awesome, then was the “cathastrophe” and now, she strats to look herself again.
LoL for ev’ryone of you. She deserves her own peace.
Let’s pray that, someday Britney Spears will be same as when she was singin Hit me baby one more time.
*nothing else to say*
To Lynne Spears:
You must feel like a fucking genius about now…no?
At least it’s an Ed Hardy bikini.
BEST SUPERFICIAL POST EVER!! All Britney stories shouldbe written this way!
BEST SUPERFICIAL POST EVER!! All Britney stories should be written this way!
BEST SUPERFICIAL POST EVER!! All Britney stories should be written this way!
WTF so what if an average american looks like her? STILL TOO FAT. thats not healthy weight goddammit. stop comparing to others and think its okay to be fat just because everyone else is.
She has the best ass, I would love to eat that
I’m sorry, but I would do sexually whatever she wanted me to do. Take a butt plug, lick her feet, masterbate for her. You name it. I love her!
Would you allow her to put her feces into you ass for a day?
Ummmm, maybe I’m nuts or being way too nice today…but, I think she looks DAMN good! I’m about 5’1″ and 105 lbs…and so trust me, I know a fat chick when I see one. She’s not fat! For having 2 kids, her ass isn’t actually that bad! We have to be a little realistic people! She looks better than the majority of Americans…AND she can still get any penis she wants. Guys, you can deny it all you want…but deep down you know she’s 10 x’s hotter than your girlfriend!
You’re right Michelle… For having 2kids, her body looks just great (she could be looking like a meatball, but she woun’t). Seriously guys, her weight is just normal and healthy for herself. Your girlfrends must be like skeletons if you’re thinking that SHE is FAT.
Emmie: people who think she´s fat don´t have girlfriends…
Who gives a shit about her…. She’s over, done, finished. The only thing good to come out of having to look at her gelatenous figure is the absolutely hilarious storyline that comes along with it. I seriously laughed until i peed. For sure the funniest thing I have read/heard/seen in years. Thank you for making this miserable world a little funnier
#95. I’m guessing you’re one of those self-absorbed bitches who stalk the Earth. The girls who think they’re so hot and have bangin’ bods. No, I’m not a fatass. But I hate bitches like you.
Some of you are out of your fucking minds i.e. “she’s fat”. She is not fat rather she is just a normal looking young woman . She no longer has the super fit, tight toned body that she use to have but that doesn’t mean she is fat in fact she looks much, much better than the majority of North American women her age!!!
In addition, #95 you are a moron.
Well, fuck. I’m 5’4″ and 130 pounds, and I look similar to that. And I get hit on all the time and guys tend to compliment my “curvy” figure, which I guess means boobies and small waist. But apparently I’m fat, according to you people. And I did feel better about 20 pounds lighter, but my bones poked through my skin at that point, and men didn’t give me a second look. So I believe that what you see here doesn’t look so bad in real life. She probably does not look fat and even sexy in real life.
i think she looks good, a woman is suppose to have some curves like that (to a point, of course), who wants one as skinny as a stick?
im 26, red blooded male, and i can tell you, a little curves is better than seeing all the bones sticking out everywhere. i dont want a half-dead skeleton looking girl, i want a woman!
plus, shes popped out a couple babies. shes a hot mom if you ask me.
Wow – I think she looks great!!!
Some of you are way harsh!!!
She’s not a teenager anymore…most women do gain a little weight in their 20′s….not even gonna mention having children cuz even if she didnt have children, she still looks great!
She has an awesome figure!!!
Some of you are comparing her to perfection…and really, there’s no such thing.
Bringing up cellulite…I cant even believe it. Most women have it. She has very little.
Whats wrong with “y’all”???
#218 Sam: You’re right.. *grin*
CANKLES!!!!!!
she has 2 boys, and I think she looks not bad at all!!!go britney!!
I don’t know who runs this site, but you’re a fucking asshole. Britney Spears may be a train wreck right now, but:
1.) I bet she’s still hella-fucking skinnier than 60% of the US
2.) She wasn’t a train wreck until AFTER she got involved in fame, and seriously, who wouldn’t buckle under all that shit? Being offered dope constantly? As if you’re NOT going to get addicted. As if you’re NOT going to get knocked up. As if you’re NOT going to go fucking psycho-bitch on everyone’s ass.
3.) She doesn’t look that bad! How many kids had she already had when this picture was taken? Uhh, people have sattalite, jackass. Would you rather her go get surgery to take care of it, so you can gossip about THAT too?
People who own sites like this are going to rot in hell.
Seriously.
cellllllllutlite, shame old britters, move on babes to something new, your over
i laughed so hard at ur comment at the bottom about taco meat!!!
i laughed so hard at ur comment at the bottom about taco meat!!!
Some of you guys are very sick in the head! Don’t you know what a “Mental break down” is! This beautiful young lady is going through some very hard times especially scents after her divorce and after a few mis-haps! Wyhat you all should be doing is “Praying” for her and hoping the best for her two little boys and her self in the future! I’m really ashamed off you all who said all of those sexually aweful comments of her! If you were going through the exact same thing as her and your sex was the same as her then you might know alot more of situation!
You guys are actually insaaane! She’s looks sexy if you ask me,
Wish I looked like that :P
She’s got curves in the right places, and NO WHERE NEAR flabby.
Come on guys, it’s actually ridiculous how the media has changed perceptions. Her body is WAAAY hotter than the average woman you see on the street, and probably yours too.
So give credit where it’s owed — she’s hot.
It doesn’t get any better. My heart is racing.