UPDATE: Britney Spears wasn’t on drugs, just crazy

January 4th, 2008 // 89 Comments

Britney Spears’ blood test allegedly came back negative for substance abuse which police initially believed was the cause of Britney’s behavior. Life & Style reports:

“Her blood test just came back, and, thank God, it was clean. There are no traces of drugs or alcohol of any kind,” a source close to the Spears family tells Life & Style.

This information jives with a comment TMZ made earlier today:

We’ve been reporting for several months now that Britney doesn’t have a drug or alcohol problem — that her instability is mental, not chemical. Well placed sources tell us what happened last night is not rooted in drugs, and that of late, her mental state has deteriorated to the point that what happened at her home was not unexpected.

So, to the family member that said “Thank God, it was clean.” You’re right. Thank God Britney Spears only held her kid hostage because she’s batshit insane and not because of drugs. Phew, what a relief. I mean, if it were drugs, then this whole thing might be a real disaster or something. Now it’s just another anecdote the Spears’ clan will laugh about over Easter: “Hey, remember when Britney had a standoff with the police? Ha ha! God, she’s a stitch!”

UPDATE: Michael Sands, a representative for Kevin Federline’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan, just informed the media that Mark Kaplan feels it would be inappropriate to do any press today. Michael Sands said he couldn’t comment on anything at this time. He also refused to confirm if the children are okay.

Photo: Splash News

  1. Lovin Spoonful of Lard

    Yep, Make Me Puke nailed it, except he forgot one thing which #41 correctly assesses — dickmatization. As well as the unnecessary pregnancies that Federline needed to assure his fortune.

    Put #27 and #41 together and you have Britney’s recipe for loolooloolooloo. She had one chance of salvation. It was when she went to a hotel and was watching the bartender and said, “This would be fun, I’d like to do this.” She should have. Being a bartender is what she was born for — dumb and fun and cute.

  2. just when you think she can’t stoop any lower, she goes ahead and proves you wrong.
    all we can do is pray for the kids, it’s not there fault there mom is a train wreck.


  3. Auntie Kryst

    @50 Right on Val. Only saving grace for that twat is that she doesn’t have an “ty” or “ny” at the end of her name. First off Carissa is a stupid cutsie name, swap out the C for K and you have terminal fuckedupidness.

  4. bone daddio

    when will her lawyers claim postpartum depression? it’s coming. oh, you wait.

  5. Rich

    All else aside…she looks totally fuckable in this picture and in the last one, too.


    omg i feel really bad 4 britney. God be with her, her family, and her little boys. i hope they really do help her out. those doctors…unprofessional much? seriously…wow anyways britney’s gonna make a comeback and i pray that she’ll be alright.


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  7. cheynne

    You really just cant cut this bitch a break can you? She is mental…give her a fucking break.

  8. Racer X


  9. She will make a come back,… i hope!

  10. Racer X

    +1 to #27

  11. D. Richards (Surgeon.)

    #48? Hilarious! Real good stuff. ‘Life threatening’; I’m a hopin’, and a prayin’.

  12. shallow val

    60 – Cheyenne, is it? I think the California Judicial System has given the illustrious Ms. Spears enough breaks.

    How bout you give US a break from your candy-assed comments.

  13. deaconjones

    I wonder if any of the paramedics at the hospital tried grabbing her tits while she was out of it…..I wouldve.

    -Drunk Pervert

  14. ohhh the humanity!

  15. Ript1&0

    That’s funny, DR, I thought it was downers. She’s always got such a dazed look in the eye, not so tweeky.

    Yeah I still don’t believe the no drugs thing anyway. I don’t know how the hell she passed that shit (*cough* paid someone at the hospital or switched some urine with her assistant), but the bitch is on something.

  16. Linda

    Just die already Britney. If I never saw another BS story again, it would still be too soon. End it all Britney, it’s the right thing to do.

  17. Relieved myself

    Well THAT’S certainly a friggin relief !!

    all this time I thought she was whacked out on ~drugs~ *phew* ……

  18. Taryn

    How the hell does anyone here know if she has Borderline Personality Disorder? I would be willing to bet that nearly all of you don’t even have any idea what BPD is all about and what it really means to have it aside from people you know saying “ummm yeah, that’s when a girl acts totally nuts” I have BPD and I happen to know the disorder has a VERY specific set of psychological diagnostic symptoms which need to be met in order to be diagnosed as actually having the disorder. And since there is NO way of knowing whether BS actually has at least of the 5 of the 9 DSM diagnostic criteria which need to be met according to a psychiatrist to be diagnosed as having BPD, the claim that Brit has Borderline Personality Disorder just because she “seems to act crazy” is ignorant, offensive, and further stigmatizes those of us who are actually intelligent human beings, simply suffering from a terrible mental illness.

  19. Taryn

    Oh and just another note: I have noticed that so many people nowadays like playing “internet doctor” online and are frequently taking it upon themselves to diagnose other people that they don’t even know with mental illnesses from their computer chairs based on nothing more than Googling, Wikipedia and their own personal opinions instead of any medical evidence. Just know that by doing this, you are doing a great disservice to everyone who actually has the illnesses you are speaking of by spreading false information.

  20. candykayne

    Well, it’s a good thing she at least still has those hot photos and a profile on some millionaire dating site, right?

  21. nipolian

    Umm Taryn……..This is a gossip site not WebMD.

  22. Melissa

    Maybe she is a bit crazy because her children were taken from her. Hmmm. ???? Maybe?? Nah. That wouldn’t cause a person to become a bit unstable.

  23. Melissa

    We can all become emotionally unstable if life gets hectic. We can all get a little crazy if everything is going wrong… Unless you are the other half of the world on prozac.

  24. Igottabemeeee

    Taryn: Spoken like a truly duped subject of the Pharmacology Gods. “That doctor knows stuff that you don’t ya’all. I have a note that says I got five of them seven signs of a personality disorder, so my fucked up choices in life cannot be held against me. I’m sick ya’all!”

  25. mrsjones

    BREAKING NEWS—just heard Britney has a MEDICAL PROBLEM, some kind of thyroid disease.

    So YOU’RE ALL WRONG. All it takes to cure her is surgery .

  26. gotdamnnnnnnn

    ok— i bet that thyroid condition was brought on by all the ‘stimulants’ she is on for adhd and narclepsy– (which are amphetimines)– over doing adderall will bring on a ‘thyroid disorder’ SHE IS ON DRUGS- but they arent counting what she is on–cause a doctor gave them to her- I HOPE THEY FIND OUT WHO HER DOC IS– and revoke his medical license- lol@ britney is a narcleptic– more like a clepto-maniac—- and i doubt they perscribe stimulants for that disorder– more like hard time– for steeling—christina A is hotter and a better singer- and looks better than brittney pregnant! BTW….Who the hell is this new fat girl i see hanging with brittney alllll the time (recently) its obvious she hangs with tha girl so she can be the hot one– that girls teeth are messed up– and brittney does look great!!!!! (WHEN SHE IS STANDING BESIDE HER)
    Someone tie a steak around brittney’s neck- maybe then she could play with a real dog–instead of a fat rotten tooth bitch–lol—

    the spears girls are so good at being in a horizontal posistion–i swear they would make better lines–than celeb’s and role models–they both seem so starved 4 male attention–makes me wonder more about the dad’s parenting skills-

  27. D. Richards (Saint.)

    Yeah, RIpt. I don’t know what Britney’s (breeder is) on; could be downers.

    I say ‘methamphetamines’ because, well I know how to spell it off the top of my head. And I really enjoy the destruction that ‘meph’ does to a person’s mouth.

    I’d like to see that in Britney: Meth mouth! It’s a fantasy, really. A sexual fantasy.

    P.S. Kiss is on VH1-2 (whatever they’re calling it) and I must change the channel fast; I don’t want some fucking ratings company to think that I was enjoying Kiss or something

    Don’t you think Paul Stanley’s such a fag?! Ha! I mean there’s nothing wrong with being homosexual, but, Paul’s just so flamboyant. I saw him shaking his ass like a woman, no shit! And the thighless spandex-tights Gene Simons is wearing (?).. Ugh.. Rock ‘n Roll! I guess.

  28. Ript1&0

    Yeah dude – about Kiss, here’s the best way to enjoy them – get an album called Love Gun, play it, love it. (Turn OFF the tv unless you wanted to be blinded by the spandex thighs). They aren’t so much a visual treat, even with the makeup.

    Rock n roll forever.

  29. BaldAsBritney

    #78 go smoke some more crack. Yeah the insane asylum’s are full of people with Thyroid condidtions you absolute fucking moron. But thanks for the laugh. Thyroid conditions manifest themselves in numerous ways but bat shit craziness and suicide attempts aren’t usually one of them. I’m no doctor but I did study some and I would have to say Brits behaviour is consistant with someone who was abused as a child and/or may have a heriditary mental condition that has been compounded by drug use. Keep in mind people the drugs she used may not have been illegal. She may have tried to OD on perscribed anti-depressants, maybe even by accident. Its alot more common that u think.

  30. Alabadbing

    Sorry Superficial but you, TMZ and Perez all scooped on this one by a no account blog @ http://atlanticrancher.net/journal. This one even got the DSM IV axis and committment info!

  31. Did you hear about what Britney said to one of the firemen?

  32. IWONKY

    Brit to Uniform in her face: I just made your whole salary for a year in the time since I met you…what do you think of that?
    Uniform in her face to Brit: Yeah, but I don’t have to look at your asshat face when I look in the mirror. Priceless.

  33. paul

    i beat anyone would go borderline if put under such stress.

  34. What a waste of bandwidth.(This thread)

  35. @86. Borderline. Feels like she’s going to lose her mind. We just keep on pushing her love – over the borderline.

  36. tamasia

    I think intill each and everyone of you poor pathetic losers go threw the deal of loving someone you betrays you making the desion to leave them and doing it.And the faggit bitch gets mad cause there goes his free ride , starts fucking with you takes money then threatens for the kids and gets them off your money yall would be depressed . the other night she didnt want to give them back shes their mother dumb fucks not having her kids is enough but look at the other shit this faggit bitch has put her threw i hope he gets hit by a bus and the rest of you fag bitches need to grow up its a gals life you inconsiderate fools……………………………………………………….

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