Britney Spears wants to help other people’s children


Britney Spears is planning to auction off a ton of personal items. Britney will donate the proceeds to a children’s cause that she’ll announce at a later date, according to her friend Sam Lufti. Us Weekly reports:

“It’s something Britney wanted to do to counterbalance all the rumors and negativity in the press. All she can do is be herself, love her kids and do small things like this to help people.”

I wonder what personal items Britney is selling. No, wait, that’s too obvious, it’s her kids. It’s a win/win situation. A worthy cause gets a buttload of cash and Jayden and Sean get a new home. Granted, they might get snatched up and sold on the black market. That is, if they dare to dream. Cross your fingers, little guys. When you put your minds to it, anything can happen! Wow, I’m awesome with kids. I should write for Sesame Street or something.