Authorities confirmed today that a sheriff’s deputy joined child welfare officials during a weekend visit to Britney Spears’ Malibu estate. There aren’t any details about a possible investigation, and all attempts to contact the Department of Children and Family Services as well as Britney’s reps were left unreturned.
“It’s a very standard, routine patrol request,” the lieutenant said. “We just roll out with them. We stood by, we took no action, no report or anything.”
I’d say it was nothing, but it’s not normal for child welfare officials to be knocking at your door. Maybe they realized leaving a human baby in the care of two mentally handicapped hillbillies could only end in tragedy. Or maybe the housekeeper caught Britney accidentally trying to eat Sean Preston again after confusing him for a giant bowl of crawfish.
biatcho | April 11, 2006 at 5:53 pm
most shocking news story to date.
bloodyvictim | April 11, 2006 at 5:54 pm
“accidentally trying to eat Sean Preston again after confusing him for a giant bowl of crawfish.”
Gold!
bloodyvictim | April 11, 2006 at 5:55 pm
what the hell? you changed the last line on me… and the first one was better godamnit!
cat | April 11, 2006 at 5:55 pm
and in other not so surprising news…
tom cruise likes cock.
Chrystal03 | April 11, 2006 at 5:58 pm
I read on TMZ that Sean fell off of a high chair and fractured his skull. Dont know how true it is but damm, hope he’s ok!!
Jay from the Bay | April 11, 2006 at 5:58 pm
Today it was child welfare…. Anyone else have the feeling that the Spears/Federline compound will be featured on COPS by the end of the month?
Spindoc | April 11, 2006 at 6:00 pm
“”"It’s a very standard, routine patrol request,” the lieutenant said. “We just roll out with them. We stood by, we took no action, no report or anything.”"
Hmm, funny, my parents, my sister, many friends have all managed to raise in total dozens of children. None of them have ever been visited by Child services. Doesn’t sound very “Routine” to me. Leaving a baby in that house reminds of that scene in “Trainspoting” You know what I mean.
biatcho | April 11, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Yeah, she & Federline are gonna be like Ronnie Dobbs on Fuzz.
Tai! | April 11, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Yay!
(and funny #4)
Spindoc | April 11, 2006 at 6:02 pm
In other news, child services have visted Katie Holmes stomache today to make sure that the pillow she has stuffed under her dress to feign pregnancy isn’t being mistreated.
M@ce | April 11, 2006 at 6:05 pm
It is standard practice for Child and Family Services to administer driving tests to any aspiring drivers under one year of age. Happy Motoring Sean!
Spindoc | April 11, 2006 at 6:06 pm
“It’s a very standard, routine patrol request,” the lieutenant said. “We just roll out with them. We stood by, we took no action, no report or anything.”
Hmm, funny how my parents mangaged to raise three kids, my sister two, between all my friends probably around 18 and yet none of them were ever visited by Child services. Doesn’t sound too “routine”
bloodyvictim | April 11, 2006 at 6:07 pm
that’s right my little pawn… change the last line back to ‘crawfish’… no one liked the ‘opossom’… bwahahahaha
oh, and I heard that Britney tried to re-insert Shawn Preston so she could go on eating like a horse without all the judgement… very clever Britney… verrrrrrry clever.
TheLusciousDeluxe | April 11, 2006 at 6:12 pm
This isn’t the first time they’ve visited the Spears “trailer” either and it probably will not be the last.
TheLusciousDeluxe | April 11, 2006 at 6:13 pm
This isn’t the first time they’ve visited the Spears “trailer” either and it probably will not be the last.
TheLusciousDeluxe | April 11, 2006 at 6:13 pm
This isn’t the first time they’ve visited the Spears “trailer” either and it probably will not be the last.
TheLusciousDeluxe | April 11, 2006 at 6:14 pm
oops.
TheLusciousDeluxe | April 11, 2006 at 6:14 pm
oops.
ziggurat | April 11, 2006 at 6:20 pm
They probably heard about the statue.
TaiTai | April 11, 2006 at 6:34 pm
Yeah that’s a real shocker. My only question is, why did it take them so long? They should have made their first visit before he was born based on genetics alone!
ablet | April 11, 2006 at 6:37 pm
She looks like a maniac with an alien for a child. I would hope child welfare officials visit them more often.
ablet | April 11, 2006 at 6:42 pm
No, seriously, that kid looks deranged.
krisdylee | April 11, 2006 at 6:43 pm
anyone else picturing these two idiots as the southern inbreds on the simpsons?????
Gerald Tarrant | April 11, 2006 at 6:43 pm
I pray that she eats the child like a crawfish.
Which is worse, being eaten by Brit that way or being told your dad was K-Fed?
Let’s all pray the child gets eaten together.
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 6:54 pm
I heard Britney’s Dad came to visit his “favorite little boy” and his ankle bracelet set off an alarm down at Amber Alert Headquarters…
Evangelia | April 11, 2006 at 7:15 pm
aren’t they a little late? sheesh.
Malakite | April 11, 2006 at 7:23 pm
#25, I think you’re thinking of Linsday Lohan’s dad?
Bellisima | April 11, 2006 at 7:29 pm
#5 Brit had her hands full and it was a split second decision…”cheetos…baby…cheetos…baby omigaaawd which one do I let go of…..???”
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 7:34 pm
My bad, you’re right Malakite. Lindsay HoHan’s dad was over to offer Kfed some advice on raising a “tight knit little family”. It was when he pulled out the sock puppets when Brit had a childhood flashback to the toolshed and called the cops…
Wild Rose | April 11, 2006 at 7:48 pm
I just can’t help thinking of the all too often scenario when a child begs and nags for a puppy and finally gets one and then the mom ends up taking care of it because the child is too immature and does stupid things like dropping it on its head….
Britney really needs to move back home, stay the hell out of the spotlight, and let her mom take care of S.P.
BoardBetty | April 11, 2006 at 7:56 pm
“Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?”
I can just imagine the COPS show with Brit & K-Fed. They bust down the front, run to the living room and find Britney passed out on the floor covered in cheeto dust. K-Fed’s playing X-Box with a doobie hanging off his lip. And little Sean Preston is sitting in just his diaper, smeared with cheeto finger prints, mashing his fat baby hand on the phone trying to dial 911 to get the hell out of there.
DuckBoy | April 11, 2006 at 7:59 pm
they went there as a follow up to the baby-on-the lap incident
however, the new Star magazine is running a FALSE story that Sean P. fractured his skull and was rushed to the ER
this is WRONG….she can’t take 2 steps in public w/out someone taking her pic, if he was rushed to the ER there would be pics
LIES!
DuckBoy | April 11, 2006 at 8:01 pm
oh, PS morons
saying “I raised x amount of kids w/out an incident” or “this person raised x amount of kids with no visit from child services” is ignorant
she’s Britney Spears..everyone is out to get her.
sara1beth2 | April 11, 2006 at 8:02 pm
In most states, child welfare is called if the emergency room staff notifies them that child abuse is a possibility. They don’t just show up because they had nothing else to do, or they heard a rumor.
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 8:06 pm
DuckBoy, what is wrong with you? She’s been voluntarily showing off her puffy face and stank-hole cooter since she was daddy’s little whore on the Mickey Mouse Club. Its been her choice to keep running around for public ridicule. Her 58 hour marriage, her oopsie unwanted pregnancy, her useless tool of a husband, her hillbilly outfits, her picking her nose…
Get a real idol. Like Lindsay Lohan or someone…
BarbadoSlim | April 11, 2006 at 8:14 pm
On topic, this might be worth listening to:
http://www.myspace.com/discothekidrules
click on “wigga please”
this “couple” should stop frontin’ and start takin’ care of they kid
pepper brooks | April 11, 2006 at 8:18 pm
#23 k-fed = cletis and you rock
10 bajillion cool points to the superficial guy for intimating that bspears will eat her baby
britney is really saggy and looks like she’s melting.
Star Maker Machinery | April 11, 2006 at 8:20 pm
This child will make a wonderful offering to Xenu. Hail Thetan!
LaydeeBug | April 11, 2006 at 8:27 pm
Finally!
Pez_D_Spencer | April 11, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Anyone else strongly suspect that Sean cries himself to sleep at night because he doesn’t yet have the strength to work the slide on K-Fed’s “gat” and thereby put himself out of his misery?
Italian Stallion | April 11, 2006 at 9:07 pm
Yo Yo Yo Dem child services peeps came to da house again, And I yell to da phat hoe to get dat dough. Dat dumb bitch went in da kitchen and start eatin cookie dough. So I told Sean to ansa da dough but I forgot he was outside playin in da street. So guess who had to answer da dough. I says, Yo Tom Cruise stop sucking my cock and go get da dough. And he did, Yo, and den he was right back on my cock…………..
Jeremy1Esq | April 11, 2006 at 9:21 pm
The kid just heard Popozao and when he realized his father wrote that song, he just knew it was better just to go ahead and kill himself now.
dirtypiratehooker | April 11, 2006 at 9:26 pm
I’m sure Sean Preston was the one who called the damn welfare service himself. Who could blame him? If Britney Spears was my mother and K-Fed was my father, I would try and get SIDS any way possible – burying myself in my pillow, take up smoking – whatever gets the job done.
Tracy | April 11, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Fell out of a high chair my ass!
LaydeeBug | April 11, 2006 at 9:42 pm
#43, you made me pee my pants. Good-on-ya!
gogoboots | April 11, 2006 at 11:08 pm
not entirely surprising, which is pretty sad to say the least…
LRonHubbaHubba | April 11, 2006 at 11:32 pm
#32…People magazine is running the highchair/fractured skull incident also.
I think it was obviously a baby-airbag suicide attempt.
Poor little thing, I wonder how long it took the nanny to find him on the floor.
Trotter | April 11, 2006 at 11:39 pm
47. It took the nanny about 20 minutes to dig him out from under the avalanche of chicharrones and cheetos. Poor thing had brain damage, I’m sure. If you consider what he inherited from those two trash mongers a brain…
lish520 | April 12, 2006 at 12:33 am
Hey DuckBoy,
I think you’re on the wrong website, you might want to try~
http://www.ilovebritneyspearsfatass.com
I hope we cleared that up,
Love, the superficialites
MeanNate | April 12, 2006 at 1:20 am
Look at the bright side … if this is the cost of stopping their gene pool, then I’m willing to look the other way.