There was a time when that title would’ve sent millions of guys on a frenzied porn hunt. Of course that was before Britney stepped in the Ugly-mobile and took a long drive down Chubby Avenue. In any case, Spears’ marriage is in trouble again. Spears, vacationing in Maui, reportedly flew into a rage after photos of her husband in the arms of French dancer Sandy Lakdar surfaced on the Internet.
A friend says “She was literally kicking and screaming. When she got back to her suite, she was so furious, she destroyed everything in sight. She called Kevin but couldn’t reach him.” The friend claims Spears has since ordered her husband to pack his bags and “get the hell out” of the house she shares with him.
Kevin’s gotta be approaching platinum level hotel points at the nearest Motel 6. And that’s where you want your possibly cheating husband to go – to an anonymous hotel room. Yep, nothing bad could happen there. Good thinking there Brit. Now, if you could just figure out why the DVD player keeps melting your movies and the bread won’t quite fit in the toaster.
SuperSpence | March 2, 2006 at 10:04 am
That marriage CANNOT end. They owe it to all of us to keep it going. This is the biggest freak show since Liza got married to that homosexual who looks like the Phantom of the Opera.
lysistrata11 | March 2, 2006 at 10:08 am
Hahaha. I’ve just been waiting for this freakout…I wonder if the Superficial knew before she did?
asmith | March 2, 2006 at 10:12 am
Did she think her handsome hubby was going to sit home and clean the house while she vacationed in Hawaii with baby-airbag? Give me a fucking break. Is she for real? Is HE for real? Maybe they are really, really made for each other…..dumb fucks.
nichole | March 2, 2006 at 10:19 am
Ah, the same old story we see over and over again:
Mom: Please don’t marry him
Response: But I LOOVE him. I’m gonna stand by my man!
Months later, he’s discovered being the asshole that everyone but the girl saw him as. Then they seperate (or don’t).
When will American girls EVER learn?
suzy | March 2, 2006 at 10:20 am
so that’s who that girl was…
shoulda known better anyways, he left that other actress after she had a baby, now he’s gonna leave britney after she had sean preston, and now he’s gonna hit up this french person and leave her after she has a kid…
it’s all going down hill… gee, i kind of feel bad for brit… i also felt bad for that actress he left first, because ew… he’s ugly anyways.. ick
innywho… hope britney really kicks him out…. give him is 300 whatever it was bucks and tell him to buy a trailer where he belongs
Realistic | March 2, 2006 at 10:23 am
As if One woman would be enough to satisfy K-Fed! You have to give her credit though. She did make herself as big as two women for him…
gossipmonger | March 2, 2006 at 10:24 am
I cannot imagine finding out ON THE INTERNET that my husband was cheating on me, and the whole world knew before me, and were laughing at me… And I ALMOST felt sorry for her. But then I slapped myself upside the head and said to myself “It’s Britney Spears!” and that was all I needed to remember. Brit, you douchebag! Did you REALLY think he’d changed? Look in a mirror, honey, YOU changed, not him. And not for the better. Losing that scum is the first step in redeeming yourself…
tits_on_snack | March 2, 2006 at 10:28 am
YES YES YES
inspector11 | March 2, 2006 at 10:33 am
Gotta love the guy. He basically married an Easy Bake Oven: An over-hyped toy that can pop out a tater tot, all the while powered by a dim bulb.
Full Disclosure: I would hump any Easy Bake Oven that bought me Ferraris and supported my rap career, too
that-dog-is-shifty-eyed | March 2, 2006 at 10:36 am
“..she destroyed everything in sight.”
I am picturing a huge mushroom cloud of cheeto dust.
Binky | March 2, 2006 at 10:38 am
When you’ve ‘flown into rage’ so many times your frequent flyer points qualify you for a trip to China and back – it maybe time to reconsider your relationship. (Especially if you’re not into MSG and stir fried pets.)
Zapp Brannigan | March 2, 2006 at 10:38 am
Oh. I thought Brit was upset over recent photos of herself on the internet. But, instead, this is about her being upset at Kevin. Again.
Yawn.
GothamGuy | March 2, 2006 at 10:40 am
Nic-hole, where are you from? Cause I thought your comment, “When will American girls ever learn” was quite funny.
I assure you that women loving badboys is a worldwide phenomenon. French and Italian females have no love for a man who won
that-dog-is-shifty-eyed | March 2, 2006 at 10:46 am
Gotham is right, Nichole. That comment was ill-advised and irritating.
Zed | March 2, 2006 at 10:47 am
That’s gonna be one crowded hotel room, containing:
1. 12 million unsold copies of Popozao
2. K-Fed’s new French girlfriend Sandy
3. K-Fed’s old porn-star girlfriend Kendra
4. Britney’s sister Jamie
4. an ATM machine
5. two drug dealers
6. 15,000 wifebeaters, sneakers, sandals, and socks
7. his still broken-down Ferrari
8. a bunch of sex-lovin’ monkeys and penguins
That place is gonna rock!
If she takes him back this time, she should be committed and the key thrown away.
veggi | March 2, 2006 at 10:55 am
Another woman wants that loser??? what the crap?
gossipmonger | March 2, 2006 at 10:56 am
By Zed :If she takes him back this time, she should be committed and the key thrown away.
I second that!!
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/divkev
Darby | March 2, 2006 at 10:58 am
So true #15. But isn’t she preggers? She probably had an hormonal breakdown and she will take her PopoZao back. I think they are the new Bobby/Whitney and we are destined to years of their lamo outbursts and drug binges. So sad.
Anndralina Steals Husbands | March 2, 2006 at 11:00 am
OK. So Kevin COULD have a really great thing going here, seriously……..he breaks up with Booby Spears, and THEN moves onto someone….say TARA RIED….NO, even BETTER….Paris hilton, causeing her to break up with Stav, him to go crying to marykate (in which he would crash a massive greek ship into her apartment screaming “TAKE ME AND MY NEW DISESES BACK!” ) and then shes like NUH UH ! Im actually in bed with Paris….THE OTHER paris…………….
oooo even better. Kev should hook up with Paris LAtsis….because getting him pregnant and then leaving him would be MUCH more intresting…..
Spindoc | March 2, 2006 at 11:04 am
Ok, this is to all of you on the superficial who are either working or in school….If you work, it is your JOB to go to work everyday for around 8 or 9 hours, and you get paid, if you’re in school it’s your JOB to go to class for a few hours, study for a few more and have some fun.
K-Fed’s only JOB is to not piss off his meal ticket, thats it, his ONLY job and he is fucking that up?!?!?! What a dumb-ass!
badattitood | March 2, 2006 at 11:09 am
#15 Zed:
You forgot something:
a floor to ceiling pile of unwashed man-pris.
thisone | March 2, 2006 at 11:12 am
Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon…
I love K-fed's Corn Rolls | March 2, 2006 at 11:14 am
#20 – Sometimes the forbidden fruit is so tasty though…
I think that’s his problem, HE DOES NOT HAVE A LIFE… he’s not a real person, he just drives around shooting clay pigeons and buying imported Vanilla Ice CD’s… He’s freakin bored…
No one (except Paris Hilton) is happy contributing absolutley NOTHING to society… it was only a matter of time before he did, I’m sure he has before… I mean, he did leave SHAR when she was EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT… Is Britney REALLY that mentally retarded?
mamacita | March 2, 2006 at 11:19 am
#13 and #14—Agreed
I seriously don’t know where anyone could get the idea that American women corner the market of being gullible where men are concerned. I guess nichole thinks it has something to do with our level of enlightenment or some such nonsense. Either way, it’s probably not the best idea to make comments that ridicule Americans when you’re on a site that has quite a few American readers.
mamacita | March 2, 2006 at 11:24 am
that should read *on* being gullible, not of
Also, I’m an American woman and I venture to say that I am intelligent, well-read, open-minded, and discerning. That being said, just about every woman has fallen for a jerk at some point in her life, myself included.
CoJo | March 2, 2006 at 11:30 am
If nothing else happens today, this was worth getting out of bed for!
Lala | March 2, 2006 at 11:34 am
#23 – Your post makes me wonder: do you think if Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton got together, they would just spontaenously combust?
Lala | March 2, 2006 at 11:38 am
I have to add, now that I think of it, I can’t stop picturing K-Fed and Paris in bed and they get closer and closer and WHAMMO – they disintegrate into thin air.
Then all of a sudden, Iraqi rebels lay down their arms and the Mideast peace treaty finally is signed. The world just becomes a better place.
tracyp | March 2, 2006 at 11:40 am
#23–He is contributing to society…by populating it.
PostAcidYouth | March 2, 2006 at 11:41 am
I have a sneaking suspicion that the ‘anti american girl’ comment was said in jest…just a sneaking suspicion, mind
Otto | March 2, 2006 at 11:43 am
I’m with ya Nicole. American girls are stupid…just the way american guys like em’. The last thing we want is some hairy French chick spouting 19th century poetry and complaining that the toilet doesn’t spout water at her unkempt vag. Most chicks in other countries don’t even speak english fo christ sake. USA! USA! USA!
tracyp | March 2, 2006 at 11:47 am
Sandy says she doesn’t do married men.
http://www.postchronicle.com/news/entertainment/tittletattle/article_2128737.shtml
Lala | March 2, 2006 at 11:51 am
Well, if Kevin doesn’t considered himself married…you know, it’s a glass half empty or glass half full kind of thing…
Sdvora | March 2, 2006 at 11:57 am
Whatever. Those pictures showed up days ago. She just saw them now? Please.
ESQ | March 2, 2006 at 11:57 am
Perhaps Britney has gotten a clue? Or she just installed a revoling door in her homefor the amount of times she has kicked out Kevin.
Kg | March 2, 2006 at 11:58 am
#10 lmao!
you know that simpsons episode when they found out homer was so stupid because he had a crayon stuck in his brain?
I think k-fed must’ve planted a cheeto or two in her brain. Or a whole bag.
Sheva | March 2, 2006 at 11:59 am
Leave Kfed alone. He did his job. He hooked up with Brit and has number two in the oven. So he’s completed his mission and guaranteed his payday. He’s going to be taken care of and he has no reason to hold back now.
So the brave Kfed calls Brit back, remarks on the prenup and says, “Brit, can you handle my truth?”
Then Kfed points the phone to his dick where another hooker is slurping down the goods.
Kfed u da man. Props to Kdick.
Michael1 | March 2, 2006 at 12:06 pm
>
LOL Who died and made you Boss Hogg, GothamGuy? get real. “colors don’t run” ROTFLMAO. No the colors just kind of ooze. LOL. Seriously, the puffedup redneck “an’t nobody dissing ‘Merica” shit is hilarious. More! More!
Britney destroying everything in sight? Hmmm… let’s hope all K-Fed’s demos of PoPoZao were “in sight”. LOL
reptilicus | March 2, 2006 at 12:14 pm
I hope that when K-Fed and Paris Hilton finally hook up, they make an album together.
Anyways, it makes me wonder what sort of reassurance that dude gives Britney everyday. “Naw baby, I love you. For real, yo. *takes drag from cigarette* Can I borrow fifty bucks?”
The Devil | March 2, 2006 at 12:16 pm
LMAO @ #10! Excellent visual!
pileofsponges | March 2, 2006 at 12:24 pm
getting with a man that leaves his pregnant fiance you’d think would be the first sign… I just feel bad for the kids
also, what happened to Britney’s hair since Kevin? it looks like she took a weed whacker to it.
tits_on_snack | March 2, 2006 at 12:25 pm
uh-oh the americans are insulted
fatimmy | March 2, 2006 at 12:26 pm
PopoZao is gonna be HUGE!!!!
K-Fed you da man. I love your Corn Rolls….
K-Fed for life
Olichka | March 2, 2006 at 12:49 pm
oooh SNAP!
tits_on_snack | March 2, 2006 at 12:51 pm
#38, word. GothamGuy’s usually pretty funny, but he lost me when he started up with the whole waving stars-and-stripes and soaring bald-headed eagles, statue of liberty, raising-the-flag-at-iwo-jima business. LET’S ROLL! I want to see a picture of the statue of liberty raising the american flag on top of mount rushmore with the aide of three bald-headed ealges each painted red, white, and blue. It seems the only people who think America is the greatest and most powerful country in the world, is Americans. I can say that because I lived there for years, next to a MILITARY BASE of all meatheaded-patriotic places, (no i’m not military) and I’m married to an American. America is a beautiful country, I really do love it and I would even possibly move back there. But the inflated redneck jock-pushing-you-into-lockers “We’ll stomp all over you because we’re number one! We’re number one!” with veins popping out of your forehead attitude is not so beautiful.
playahater101 | March 2, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Well, since the leaving of the pregnant girlfriend, the mooching, the many escorts, the “boys weekends in Vegas”, the pot smoking, the joblessness, more mooching, the draining of her fortune, and the idiocracy haven’t made her see he’s an a$$hole yet, then maybe the pics of him walking with his arm around another girl will. Then again, maybe not.
Spindoc | March 2, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Number #45, I would have taken your well thought out post on politics and certain cultural traits of Americans from various regions more seriously if after reading it I didn’t see that your name was “tits_on_snack” LOL!!!!! God I love the Superficial.
Mrs. Boop | March 2, 2006 at 12:59 pm
This is what I have been waiting for! Women all over keep a close eye on your vagina cause K-Fed is loose!! Jessica Simpson is so next!!!
gilmore_gargoyles | March 2, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Peanutbutter homeless.
fatimmy | March 2, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Peanut Butter Jelllllly
Peanut Butter Jelllllly
You know the rest.