Britney Spears triumphs then returns to crazy

Did anyone catch Britney Spears last night on How I Met Your Mother? I would’ve watched it but, I was too busy trying to decide how much I hate mayonnaise. (Answer: A shit load.) Anyway, a lot was riding on Britney’s performance, according to People:

Her challenge was clear: Demonstrate that, even though she seems in recent months to have been traveling through life on the roaring, ragged edge of a tornado, she could still stop and stand still long enough to perform on camera, be as naturally charming as the role permitted, and let the audience conclude: “Well, she SEEMS all right. She seems like Britney.”

It appears Britney pulled it off because most of the reviews I’ve read this morning were positive. But then I find out that Britney celebrated her cameo by going out to eat – and decided to whip out her old friend the English accent. Us Magazine reports:

Throughout her meal at Italian restaurant Dominick’s, Spears, 26 — who did not drink — spoke in her British accent, a fellow diner tells
“She looked so good, completely normal,” the eyewitness adds. “She was smiling and laughing in the loud obnoxious Britney laugh.”

Someone suggested to me that, if Britney wants to be British so bad, why not send her to England? I immediately punched him in the face and screamed “Sir, art thou mad?!” She would meet up with Amy Winehouse and they would join together to form the two-headed hydra Britmey Winespears. The creature would soar through the air reigning down impetigo and Starbucks upon us. Not on my watch, mister. Then the dude got up and kicked my ass. What can I say? He was freakishly strong for a blind 8-year-old.