A French producer wants Britney Spears to play the Virgin Mary in a new satire called Sweet Baby Jesus. The producer says the film will start shooting in March and Britney is reviewing the script, according to the latest issue of Us Weekly:
“Spears, 26, would play a pregnant 19-year-old unsure of her baby’s paternity who goes into labor on Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, Maryland, as rumors swirl that the birth is Jesus Christ’s second coming.”
Finally, a movie with believable casting. Britney Spears as the Virgin Mary? I’m sorry, you don’t get more spot-on than that. Britney won’t even have to act. She already behaves so much like the mother of Christ that I’d totally feel comfortable letting her raise the Baby Jesus. Of course, the nun I told that to threw me in front of a bus then dumped holy water in my eyes. A simple “I couldn’t agree more” would’ve sufficed, but you’re welcome, sister.
missj | December 12, 2007 at 11:33 am
i hope this is all lies!!!!!!!!!!! God how could they be anymore wrong
FRIST!!! | December 12, 2007 at 11:33 am
She will be believable in that..
Aparna | December 12, 2007 at 11:33 am
wow now is that stupid or wat?
Dave | December 12, 2007 at 11:34 am
First
D | December 12, 2007 at 11:37 am
Oh God…
Really???
she | December 12, 2007 at 11:38 am
Why don’t you all LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE?
Because ya’ll are perfect God must love you more?
kirsten | December 12, 2007 at 11:42 am
I think this would be funny. It’s a satire. Of course it might be a challenge to get Spears to learnlines. And a teleprompter would be of no use since she can’t read. Someone could feed them to here I suppose.
Gerald_Tarrant | December 12, 2007 at 11:42 am
This is old old old news. But it doesn’t make it any less hilarious. If she gets the part someone is going to hell, right after they file for unemployment.
Ally | December 12, 2007 at 11:43 am
Oh, my gosh!
The producer of that film just want the controversy no a good actress!
People will do anything for money (I didn’t know Britt was an actress)!!
that's entertainment | December 12, 2007 at 11:43 am
i would pay to see this
JesusJizz | December 12, 2007 at 11:46 am
Come to my Pearly Gates Britney. I have something I’ll spew on you.
Lee | December 12, 2007 at 11:50 am
The headline says Britney to play Mary, but that doesn’t seem to be the case?? MISLEADING.
Mike | December 12, 2007 at 11:55 am
Very funny. I have seen this photo on millionairefriends.com. It’s a dating site for celebrities and wealthy people.
nipolian | December 12, 2007 at 11:55 am
Only someone from France could be a big enough fucktard to want to put her in a movie of any kind.
Katie | December 12, 2007 at 11:56 am
For the love of GOD, please make her stay out of Maryland!
Bigheadmike | December 12, 2007 at 11:56 am
You mean she isn’t pure…… My goodness
mcbeef | December 12, 2007 at 12:04 pm
TCLTC
veggi | December 12, 2007 at 12:08 pm
You’re all so brainwashed. The historical Mary was literally a whore and died of complications from venereal disease. If you didn’t spend all your time on a kneeler (or just on your knees) you’d know that. This is a great casting choice.
Anexio | December 12, 2007 at 12:09 pm
More great news from the brit camps. i remmber the movie she did last year or so when she rode in cars and stuff and it was great and now that I am thinking about it I am going to ask for that for chrismas. brit can act so really really good and this will just add more to her as time goes on. i hopes that her aunterauge will be able to keep up with her because she does everything all the time.
I only wish that brit were preg so that she coulb be happiest again like she was before kFed was so mean to her and lie all the time over and over. brit will nock this one out of the park and will be awarded for it like she does all the other stuff she does like hit after hit and dancing all the time. now I know why she is drinking cofee all the time it is so that she has the enargy to do all this stuff. i could not imagene being her keeeping up with that.
People say she is encredable and I for one cound not agree more than ever.
andil | December 12, 2007 at 12:11 pm
#18 you’re an A$$
Auntie Kryst | December 12, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Please please please be a true story! I’ll be first in line for that movie. I can’t wait to see what the new gift of the Magi will be. I’m guessing a pack of Kools, a six pack, and a bucket from KFC.
Oh by the way, religious right, come to the Fucktard’s defense now! She’s going to star in what looks to be a very blasphemous movie.
Nefarious Crotch Kicker | December 12, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I hope she still takes her rolls very seriously.
Ooba Gooba | December 12, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Hey #19: You really are stupid, aren’t you?
veggi (would go watch this) | December 12, 2007 at 12:18 pm
@18- be yourself! It’s ok!!..
Dee | December 12, 2007 at 12:20 pm
So it’s a porno?
One more time | December 12, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I smell an Oscar.
No, not that one, the one from Sesame Street.
Dr.Overdose | December 12, 2007 at 12:25 pm
@19 – Hey Anexio, as a physician trust me to know when I read the writing of someone who should die of a drug overdose. Please find a street corner in the blackest part of town you can find. On that street corner ask the darkest kninned gentleman with the whitest teeth if he would please please please sell you crack. You won’t get crack but he will kill you. That will stop the pain i feel everytime I read something you write.
Thanks again.
Auntie Kryst | December 12, 2007 at 12:29 pm
@19 Oh no my friend thiz is no true. It isn’t the pretty one. It is you that is encredable and I for one cound not agree more than ever. On behalf of veggi and me, we will just want to add more to you, please let us be in your aunterauge.
FRIST!!! | December 12, 2007 at 12:30 pm
#9, What??? Didn’t you see Crossroads? Yeah, me neither..
LayDeeBug | December 12, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Don’t you need to be an actor to do satire? Oh, wait, I forgot what country I was in…..
Nikk | December 12, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Oh my fucking god. I will personally bankroll this film just to see that.
popelongjonthesecond | December 12, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I can hear the Xtians calling for her head now. “Jehova Akbar!!!”
Debagger | December 12, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Does anyone remember when she used to be hot– when she was twelve?
c | December 12, 2007 at 1:05 pm
sounds like the best movie of 2008. i sincerely hope she takes the role and doesn’t end up being fired. and that this all actually happening.
Miserable Bastard | December 12, 2007 at 1:09 pm
They should cast K-Fed as Joseph and a few of his lawyers as the three wise men who show up after following a trail of empty coffee cups to the Starbucks bathroom stall where the blessed birth takes place. But instead of bringing gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh, the first wise man grabs the baby from Britney and hands it over to Joseph, the second serves her with a child support settlement and the third tells her she looks fat.
Petra | December 12, 2007 at 1:12 pm
The virgin Mary – more like a bloody mary. A BLOODY MARY NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lady Zombie | December 12, 2007 at 1:32 pm
ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING STARBUCKS BRITNEY!
Sue Funke | December 12, 2007 at 1:47 pm
That’s comic genius right there. Let’s see if she can stay sober enough to show up.
cherrytart | December 12, 2007 at 2:09 pm
there is NO way she can play a nineteen year old
cherrytart | December 12, 2007 at 2:09 pm
there is NO way she can play a nineteen year old
Kezac | December 12, 2007 at 2:35 pm
There is no way a French film could be about Jesus f** Christ and shitty religion in general.
You Yankees are so much better at it. ;)
SmokingGirl | December 12, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Oh this would be so blasphemous if it wasn’t for the fact that Christ wasn’t born on December 25th. Shocked? I know…history time.
December 25th was made Michael Mass (for St. Michael the ArchAngel) by Constantine inorder to combate the practice of the Roman Sun Gods Birthday *who was born of a virgin, died, and rose again…just BTW*
Later when the Catholic Church sent missionaries and all that fun stuff to the Celtic Pagan British Isles, poor St. Michael just wasn’t strong enough to combate the celebration of Yule, which is also known as the Winter Solstice, where the Goddess gives birth to the God. So the Church, in their infinite wisdom, decided to change Michael Mass to Christ’s Mass know known as Christmas (or Xmas, where the X represents the name Christ in Greek).
Christ would have been born around late summer/early fall time frame in accordance with other historical happenings at that time. Mainly King Herods crusade to murder all 5 year old to newborns to stop the supposed “New King of the Jews”.
So as a Catholic, I find this all quite hilarious. Mainly for the ignorance of people on the history of things, and also to think that some Christians are going to get their knickers in a twist over Britney playing the Virgin Mary. If only people would read books instead of assuming that Christmas Carols are gospel.
Oh, and on another note, Easter and many other “Christian” celebrations usually corrilate quite nicely with a Pagan holiday of the same theme. So, in other words, Christ didn’t die and rise again on his supposed “Easter date” either. I hope no Christian’s head explodes reading this…poor things.
LayDeeBug | December 12, 2007 at 4:21 pm
20 – There is NOOOO way she can play anything.
Realist | December 12, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Satire? Of course. It’s going to be all about how Mary pulled the greatest swindle in history with her ‘immaculate’ conception.
no1justminda | December 12, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??
CelebrityFanChat Raph | December 12, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Oh my!
SmokingGirl | December 12, 2007 at 7:20 pm
To #44…The Immaculate Conception is actually in reference to the conception of Mary, not the conception of Christ.
I know, we Catholics with our titles for seemingly insignificant people. Just so hard for the populace to keep straight.
Oh, and for future reference, the conception of Christ is called the Miraclous Conception…that is if one likes to be technical in making an anti-Mary point.
Spanky | December 12, 2007 at 7:59 pm
I can only pray that they never make her take her meds. I love watching someone fall apart in front of the whole world
makemepuke | December 12, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Satire?? No No not at all…..the notion of Brittany playing the Virgin Mary simply states the obvious, she is the perfect individual to portray the archetypal Christian mother…why ???…..because in her superficialty, phoniness and self absorption she clearly represents all that religion is….PRETEND.
whatever | December 12, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Britney having a baby that has no father, in Bethlehem, Maryland?
Sounds more like the birth of the anti-Christ to me. I knew this bitch would cause the down fall of man. Somebody poor holy water on her and listen to her scream “I’M MELTING!!!” while we still have a chance!