Britney Spears to give away sex tape

According to a family friend, Britney Spears is “seriously thinking about” giving away a digitally re-mastered copy of her sex tape for free so Kevin Federline can’t make any money off of it.

“Brit figures she’ll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she did by giving away pictures of Jayden James,” said Spears family friend Nyla Price, 55, the owner of Nyla’s Burger Basket. “Half of nuthin’ is nuthin’, and that’s what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it.” Federline has been saying the sex tape is four hours long, however, Price says the tape is closer to forty-five minutes

This is like a battle of wits between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline to see who can screw each other over the most. I’d compare it to an intricate game of chess but it’s really more like a pig wrestling contest. I picture each of them staying up late at night trying to put together battle plans, furiously scribbling on a notepad with their tongue sticking out. Then when you look at the notepad it’s just a bunch of numbers, with some of the 3’s facing the wrong way.