Britney Spears is holding a mystery press conference tomorrow, and even her closest aides have no idea what she’s going to announce. She’s invited select media representatives, journalists, and record industry executives to the Los Angeles Convention Center. Sony exec Karen Phillips says:
“Britney hasn’t held a press conference in so long that we know it’s something big – pregnancy, a split, we’re not sure.”
They might not know the reason for the press conference but I know. Britney is going to announce she’s finally discovered the difference between baby powder and baking soda. And that no matter how much they look like powdered sugar, they both taste terrible. Oh, and that putting a baby in the blender isn’t as much fun as Jamba Juice would have you believe.
I’m not akapee, just so you know
also no one gives a shit about your pathetic delusions of interent grandeur ;)
LOL @ #99.
I don’t know why everyone takes the piss out of celebrities when they start looking like regular people… makes me think you will only be happy when the whole world looks like Nicole “Not Anorexic…Trust…honest i’m not, seriously, im not” Richie.
I think Britney will be announcing her pregnancy if the tabloids are anything to go by. Or maybe shes gonna come live in England :D
Why would she do a press conference to announce being preggo though? She didn’t do it with her first baby.
I’m betting on (praying for) her retirement.
Maybe she’s announcing that Han Solo has finally been delivered to her by Boba Fett and he will be placed on display in her throne room.
HOLY SHIT!!
She announced at the press conference that she ate Sean Preston to make space for the new baby, she added that the toddler was washed down with a 40 ounce jug of King Cobra Malt Liquor. And that she, and K-Fed, are happily awaiting the new arrival.
She’s going to announce that:
1. She’s getting rid of K-Fed since she’s clearly so much better off without him.
2. She’s giving baby Sean Preston up for adoption since he’s clearly so much better off without her.
3. She’s not pregnant after all. Turns out if was just a combination of gas and constipation.
4. She’s going to do a comeback just as soon as she remembers how to a) keep herself fit, b) wear a bra, c) dance, d) sing (optional).
@ Moriarty — I love a good Star Wars reference! There just aren’t enought of those in these threads.
My theory on her big “announcement” is this: After months of study and collaboration with physicist Stephen Hawking, the discovery of a black hole within our Milky Way Galaxy has finally been revealed — the swirling vortex of gravational pull is centered around Britney Spears, sucking in everything around her and turning it into a particle stream of shit.
Because, you know, she’s fat. Like CancerNipples.
On a more serious note, I don’t see how this person could ever go back to what she used to do.
She can’t REALLY sing, her whole schtick was the dancing routines and watnot. That hasn’t been good for her, she’s not a natural dancer, her body can’t take it (she’s got blown knees up the wazoo). She’s done, she needs to drop that faggot husband of hers, make some investments and get the fuck out of my face.
sweetcheeks reverting to her pathetic tactics of calling anyone who doesn’t kiss (or anyone who’s ass she isn’t kissing) “fat”.
Aren’t you the one who constantly claims youre hotter than Scarlett Johanssen, and then you finally posted your pic and everyone puked? Yeah, that’s you. Give it a rest.
I already said this is another post, but I’ll say it again. People like sweetcheeks need to stop fagging up this site with your pathetic in-fighting. You are all ugly, and sweetcheeks should be outlawed, she’s so heinous.
If the people on this site aren’t “cool” enough for you then you can waddle your fat ass away from the computer and go outside and interact with real people.
You’re so pathetic.
I agree. The only thing Brit ever had was good stage presence, and she was a good dancer. Now, her knee is fucked beyond repair (and she’s too chubby) to seriously dance and entertain people on stage. She’s finished, and I’m sure that’s what this press thing is about.
I hope CancerNips actually HAS cancer. I’m not the only one who hates you! Check around. Read some responses to your ever-so-witty posts.
Did you read my post at all?
I don’t CARE what other people think of my posts. I don’t come here to be “funny”. I don’t come here to kiss everyone’s ass, either, unlike you “OMG PAPAHONUTS MARRY ME YOU ARE TEH FUNNEH” I don’t have illusions of internet grandeur. I post on a shitty little celebrity new site, and that’s that. You put way too much energy into being accepted and “popular” on this retarded blog. That’s your problem, never mine.
I don’t try to be “witty” on this site, for one thing. I make comments. Period. I’m not here to entertain you or anyone else. I could give a crap how my comments are received. I know that’s hard for you to understand because clearly this site is your life.
The whole point of my post is that the in-fighting here is pathetic. Who could argue with that? You’re fighting over who’s more popular/more “witty” ON AN INTERNET BLOG YOU PATHETIC NOBODY NERD!
You’re on of the main contributors to this problem. You’re pathetic. Period.
Not to mention delusional.
Now, I’m English. If you lot say ‘. Period .’ is that the same as Hellipses (…)?
‘Period’ means end of discussion.
This ditchpig called sweetcheeks can throw all the pathetic insults at me that she wants because it’s clearly one of the only things that keep her from killing herself.
I thought it meant ‘Full Stop’ — as in the punctuation mark.
.
Also… just curious…
If it means ‘end of discussion’, how are you able to use it in both lines 9 and 16 or your diatribe?
Way to get bogged down in semantics.
If you agree that the comments to the superfish posts should be reserved for juvenile games such as “who is the most popular” then just fucking say so.
Fuck your strawmen, moron.
Moriarty — I ever so want to kiss your lovely English mouth.
There goes Cancer, fagging it up… has anyone seen lambananas? Coincidence? Hmm, hmm?
^^^^^^ You see? This is fucking pathetic…
“You took my side in a pointless arguement..I LOVE YOU LET ME KISS YOU LOLZ”
Dude I’d be proud to call myself an outcast among you losers.
Coincidence my ass. THis is my ONLY account. Unlike you who make up fake accounts just to agree with you in threads…
“cheeky chops” anyone?
Just give it up, bitch.
Sweetcheeks is about as funny as Stephen Hawking.
Great posts today, CancerNipples and Sweetcheeks! Way to keep your retarded internet spat going! And Cancer, you cannot blame that idiot Sweetcheeks. It takes 2 to do the retard tango.
Yeah right, it’s my fault. She’s the one who trolls all of my posts and starts shit with me but you’re right, moron. IT’S ALL ME
Unsolicited advice for Cancer: if you don’t like fighting with her/it, then stop. post something else. You have the power. Thundercats hooooooooo!!!
http://www.delafont.com/music_acts/Music_Images/r-milsap.jpg
i think i’ve found the REAL britney. at piano lessons, no less!