Britney Spears caused an incident at a Beverly Hills elementary school when she was spotted outside smoking and talking to herself, according to Us Magazine:
“She was just rambling and confused,” says the witness, who approached Spears to ask if she was OK. “She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’”
At this point the kids were being let out and the sight of Britney Spears naturally terrified the little tykes:
“It became the talk of the school. Some of the kids were freaked out,” says a school source. She was directed to a more secure entrance around back.
But before getting into her car and driving off (without any children), she chatted up the female witness: “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”
Either Britney Spears is now trying to kidnap random children or her lawyer is stupendously fucking retarded. Who the hell sends Britney to pick up their children? You’d be better off finding a pack of stray dogs and letting them sniff your kid’s hat. Of course, my lazy dad didn’t have much luck with this method. I was always biting the neighbors on account of the rabies, and they never did find my brother Jeffy…. But then again, Britney Spears, I dunno. Can’t you just buy the kids guns?
FRIST!!! | January 24, 2008 at 1:32 pm
FIRST you newbie cunts!
queenie | January 24, 2008 at 1:33 pm
first!
The Office Whore | January 24, 2008 at 1:36 pm
and she only wanted them to bend over so she could draw clouds and sunshines on their butts.
You know what they say, no kin, no foul.
Rachel | January 24, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I love her Travolta/Battlefield Earth look.
sensitive guy | January 24, 2008 at 1:37 pm
I think the cocktail in the Budweiser cup is a nice touch – really shows she’s coming along as a responsible parent…
Guy | January 24, 2008 at 1:38 pm
That isn’t funny, thats just sad :/
Jim | January 24, 2008 at 1:40 pm
When did Warf start wearing Dolce And Gabana sunglasses?
Zanna | January 24, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Newbie cunts? That sounds like a fucking tribe. And I think I like it.
Oh,Lawdy!! | January 24, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Could someone, ANYONE, please do something about her? Personally, I would wait until she came out of Starbucks (sipping a moch-choco-latte with an extra shot of crazy), throw her into my plain white van, smack her around and then take her to get her tubes tied.
What she gonna do when the money runs out???
The White Urkele | January 24, 2008 at 1:42 pm
That is pretty sad. She needs some help. I still want to do her. Either before or after she gets the help.
they.call.me.tater.salad | January 24, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Brit-Brits hairline looks just like mine about a year before I went completely bald…niiiice.
She’s really gone off the deep end and needs a permanent caretaker…
wow | January 24, 2008 at 1:44 pm
oh my goodness. . .
The Office Whore | January 24, 2008 at 1:45 pm
11- it’s a fivehead.
Papahotnuts | January 24, 2008 at 1:46 pm
She was actually enrolling in 2nd grade. Again.
Juaqin Ingles | January 24, 2008 at 1:46 pm
At least that jacket’s covering her google-eye nipples.
pinky_nip | January 24, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Boy, I pull that shit and go downtown in a cop car… This bitch just skates. Who says money can’t buy happiness?
Deaf | January 24, 2008 at 1:46 pm
What’s up with the TWO purses? One for each personality of the day?
Deaf | January 24, 2008 at 1:47 pm
What’s up with the TWO purses? One for each personality of the day?
null | January 24, 2008 at 1:47 pm
the money isn’t running out… that’s the problem! she’s still raking in half a mil a day or something. she could go on like this for another year or two! we’re all doomed.
RichPort | January 24, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I know we all get mad at her for dropping her kids, but it’s better than what she usually does… swallow other people’s kids…
#1 – Newbiecunt? Is that a state in India?
Zanna | January 24, 2008 at 1:49 pm
@17&18…what’s with the two posts? One for each personality of the day?
Papahotnuts | January 24, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Brittany just issued an Amber Alert for her bottle of Vodka.
Ooba Gooba | January 24, 2008 at 1:50 pm
No way this is true. There would be pictures if it were.
pinky_nip | January 24, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Some days, when I have time to daydream, I wonder if Britney is just putting this all on, in order to get attention. because she’s just a lost soul. Then I dump the bongwater.
RENEE... | January 24, 2008 at 1:52 pm
This story sounds like complete BS; yes as in Britney Spears, and yes as in bullshit. I’m not buying it. Not that it something I can’t see her doing; more like… the paps would have all sorts of videos of this going down and it would be posted on the internet. So where’s it at? Anyways, nice receding hairline Brit! Good Lord, what female starts getting a receding hairline at 26?! And that Battlefield Earth comment was hilarious, so “spot on” as Britney would say, ha.
The Sampan Man | January 24, 2008 at 1:52 pm
NO, Rich….a Newbie Cunt is like a yellow jacket’s vajayjay…..I think…….
bite me | January 24, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Does this story seem likely given the number of Pap-Spears there are following this train wreck everywhere? Where are the pictures of this event? Pics or it didn’t happen.
Juaqin Ingles | January 24, 2008 at 1:53 pm
#16 That’s what will be her downfall, that these douche bag LEOs haven’t done anything about her because she’s this big star. Michael J. Fox he used to get all fucked up and drive like a maniac and the stupid star struck pigs just let him go, and he said that was the worst thing they could have done to him. Of course he turned out alright, until he started shaking all over and shit of course.
p0nk | January 24, 2008 at 1:54 pm
21 – well played!
Rat | January 24, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Jamie Lynn Spears To Give Up Her Baby
Thu, 24 Jan 2008
Jamie Lynn Spears has agreed to give up her unborn baby, it has been claimed. The 16-year-old star of Nickelodeon show ‘Zoey 101′ will reportedly give the child to her mother Lynne as soon as it is born, so she can focus on her career.
A source told America’s Star magazine: “After several weeks of personal soul searching and talks and discussions with her mom, Jamie Lynn reluctantly agreed that giving up the baby is the right thing to do.”
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“Lynne says Jamie doesn’t understand the lifelong consequences of having a baby. She wants Jamie Lynn to continue her show business career after the baby is born and Jamie Lynn also realizes she wants to enjoy her teenage years without the responsibilities of caring for a baby.”
“Jamie Lynn will be back at work and trying to remind people of her talent and not that she is an unwed teenage mother.”
Lynne will raise the baby at the family home in Kentwood, Louisiana, away from the Hollywood spotlight. Since Jamie Lynn announced her pregnancy she has been living at the family’s $3 million estate while studying for a high school equivalency exam and attending parenting classes. But it is believed once she gives birth she will return to Los Angeles to pursue her acting career.
Jamie Lynn, the younger sister of Britney Spears, insists her 18-year-old boyfriend Casey Aldridge is the father of her baby. However, insiders claim the father is actually a much older TV executive from her show.
A source said: “Jamie Lynn has been working on her show ‘Zoey 101′ since she was 13. In Hollywood, little girls grow up fast and she’s no exception. With everything that has gone on in her family, she needed someone to look up to.”
“But the man she found seems to have completely taken advantage of her.”
A representative for Jamie Lynn denied she plans to give up her baby.
Article © AHN – All Rights Reserved
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Apache | January 24, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Would this fucking pimple on the ass of humanity just DIE already?
Papahotnuts | January 24, 2008 at 1:54 pm
The school called police and reported a big-headed, receding hair-lined, pale faced, no talent, foul-smelling entertainer trying to kidnap 2 kids.
Heath Ledger and Brittany Spears are the two main suspects.
Racer X | January 24, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I rule Brit to be sane.
/that is all
//she’s not dead she’s just having fun
///y’all
pinky_nip | January 24, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Hey, I’d let Michael J. Fox make me a martini anyday.
Zanna | January 24, 2008 at 1:57 pm
@29-Thank you, thank you..
@32 – C’mon…Heath probably won’t be foul smelling for ATLEAST a couple more hours.
pinky_nip | January 24, 2008 at 1:58 pm
He’d also be damn handy to have around when the batteries crap out on my dildo..
mememe | January 24, 2008 at 1:59 pm
That’s just sad =(
She needs somebody to be there for her.
Zanna | January 24, 2008 at 2:00 pm
@34 – good one…now you’ve got me wondering if he’d be like a human vibrator.
Jack's Doctor | January 24, 2008 at 2:01 pm
IF someone were trying to guess what could possibly be Britney’s next move, that was a fairly good guess. Again, put up or shut up with the pics.
pinky_nip | January 24, 2008 at 2:01 pm
p0nk, I hope you don’t think I was picking on you… I mean I love you like a brother…. okay, well, a step-brother because technically then, we could still screw .
Cho | January 24, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Deal Dialy: Today, not so good. Blitney Speals tly to take my prace as Biggest Schoo Tellolist in Amelica. Blitney Speals boln in yeal of Cock….she not so good. Cho numbah one tellolist of schoo in Amelica. Make me so piss off.
Zanna | January 24, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Pinky…we just SHINED. again.
The Beer Baron | January 24, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I thought I was the only one who brought party cups to grade schools!
Ted from LA | January 24, 2008 at 2:04 pm
She was NOT at the school to pick up her lawyers kids. She was there to find out if she was smarter than a 5th grader. She was last seen leaving the Pre-K yelling, “Ya’ll know those little fuckers cheat.”
Zanna | January 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Cho make me raff rong time.
The Office Whore | January 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm
FRIST!!! Are you getting #41 drunk and not sharing??
pinky_nip | January 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Z, it’s also handy to have him around when you need to touch up a nick on the wall and the paint can’s been sitting around for a couple of years.
cockninja | January 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I thought it was a picture of Richard Grieco at first.
RichPort | January 24, 2008 at 2:06 pm
#38 – About as good as Terri Schiavo was as a human blow up doll… I can’t tell you how many times I had to tell my friends “No, don’t wipe her, just let it dry there…”
FRIST!!! | January 24, 2008 at 2:07 pm
#43 Um, no… but lately I just bring my martini shaker and glass, but only to math competitions and spelling bees..