Britney Spears talks about her behavior

December 7th, 2006 // 68 Comments

Britney Spears has a little diddy on her official site talking about her recent behavior and even poking fun at all those shots of her bojangle. She writes:

It’s been so long since I’ve been out on the town with friends. It’s also been 2 years since I’ve even celebrated my birthday. Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a little too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria’s Secrets’ new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me.

I’m just getting started … Happy Holidays everyone!


Yeah, after being married to Kevin Federline for two years I can see how the taste of freedom might make you a little bit nuts. When they finally released me from prison for killing three men with my bare hands trying to defend a family of orphans it’s not like I went straight to the TV and gym. And sure, maybe banging the entire line of Victoria’s Secret models was a bit excessive, but it has to be illegal to keep this much man to myself.


  1. ishtar

    her pants always look ugly

  2. ponk

    so who’s the geek she’s holding hands with that is seriously checking out her ass?

  3. BLucky

    Let’s face it. New Years resolutions never go fulfilled.

    Trashy BritBrit will rear her head again soon and when she does, her fugly vuhjayjay is bound to rear its head as well.

  4. show the world what’s need not to see! while there are others out there being ignored everyday!!
    Did you not see my pain ?

    The littlest flute seller. Part of the flute seller series.
    She tried to sell me a flute (which I declined).
    Later on in the afternoon, these kids (flutesellers) got excited over the camera I carried and were clamouring for their pictures to be taken. I took a lot of pictures of these children.
    Over to one side, I spied the littlest flute seller who sat apart (on the sidewalk) from the group of kids. She was playing her flute, and she played it very well too. On impulse, I took this shot.
    It was only later on in the evening that I finally got to view the large image on my computer. I was surprised to see the tears.
    I wanted to kick myself for not buying that flute.
    Jojo A

  5. polypam

    You know what Brit? Never having a night to yourself, not being out because you have kids, you know what that’s called? MOTHERHOOD! And it’s one thing to go have dinner with friends, it’s quite another to be drunk every night wearing no panties and flashing your snatch to the world.

    Here level of maturity boggles the mind.

  6. polypam

    “Her” level. My bad.

  7. hendero

    I simply must get me a rhinestone “Hawaii” belt buckle, because that would just scream good taste.

    And when did Sting become a security guard?

  8. What a big difference a few years,2 kids and one louse of a husband make.Jeez

  9. There's a Surprise Inside

    What?! So, am I now to believe that she won’t be showing her hooha anymore? Shit! Who told her that her vagina was plastered all over the internet and TV? Who, dammit?!

  10. Dcrew220

    I assume she means the Victorias Secret panties she is going to buy? Otherwise, the one’s she had have melted off her crotch …

    1000′s of cheats for Wii, PS3 and Xbox360

  11. tsarinaamanda

    Awww, POOR BRIT, it’s been SOO LONG since she’s been out on the town with friends…cry me a fucking river. STFU, you classless cunt, you CHOSE to get knocked-up twice in a row, and now you have the NERVE to try and justify your reprehensible behavior by playing the “ohhh, poooor me, everybody look at how HARD I have it” card? Why don’t you get your face out of Parasite herpes Hilton’s rotten crotch and take a look around and see some people who REALLY have it rough…people who have to work 2-3 REAL jobs to survive, people who are living in poverty and are starving and dying in horrible, squalid conditions that aren’t even fit for an animal? But you won’t do something like that, you just want to keep whining and trying to get sympathy for your “sooo hard” life to try and justify your skanktastic behavior. I bet a LOT of people wish that not being able to go out on the town with friends was their biggest fucking worry, you insensitive, useless, trailer park trash bitch! God DAMN, if you stopped wallowing in self-pity and actually tried to raise those fucking kids that you just HAD to have, instead of being out every goddamn night with the biggest, fakest twat in the known universe, people just might be a little more sympathetic to you. But even then I doubt it because you’ve proven just how classless and out of touch you are with what “peasants” like your 5 remaining fans and the rest of the world have to deal with out here in the “Real World”. If I didn’t already hate this sack of dog turds, I sure as FUCK would DESPISE her fucking ass after this asinine comment. I hope she gets cancer or AIDS, and then she’ll see what REAL SUFFERING is. I can bet she won’t be whining about how she can’t party with other stupid spoiled skanks then!

  12. It has been norm for Stars to have their accepted ‘LAWS’ in their lives. No big deal

  13. What she needs to do, is look into some Hefty trash bags, then we will all feel better……….

  14. tsarinaamanda

    Oh, and nice double chin, lardass. She should NEVER be photographed in profile, she looks like a fucking Neanderthal….or the cavemen from the Geico commercials, what with that sloping brow and all. And 2000 called, they want their jeans back. She looks kinda like my 5-year old aunt in this pic, except my aunt looks less like a fucking bag of smashed assholes and more like a normal person with class…and the sad thing is my aunt is from West Virginia, and even SHE knows better!

  15. tsarinaamanda

    58-year old aunt…goddammit, I fucking corrected that shit TWICE and it STILL fucked up!

  16. Binky

    Brit etc. – Stay away from the VS ‘Commandos’. When I ordered them for a friend it was a bit dissapointing and overpriced.
    Although the cat liked the empty box they sent, you keep getting the f’in catalogs and people are beginning to wonder…

  17. fergernauster

    Forget this pantiless, bovine-eyed, crusty crotched udder.

    I wanna diss Beyonce. Firstly, this gremlin-magnet is 46 years old (NOT 25, as she had previously purported) and her hen-in-heat screeches posing as “art” are now beyond tolerable limits. Her current CD is not fit for a donkey-dung shovel.

    Add to that the fact that her (mother’s) style-devoid “House of Derriere” fashion line should find its rightful place on the discount rack at K-Fart…

    Thank you for the opportunity to vent.

  18. funnyinmyhead

    #13…..I bow to you! Well put.

    STFU, Brit. Be a parent or atleast JUST disappear!

  19. fergernauster

    “…She looks kinda like my 5-year old aunt in this pic, except my aunt looks less like a fucking bag of smashed assholes…”

    Aha ha ha ha ha!!!

    I am currently envisioning what a “fucking bag of smashed assholes” looks like. Guessing it’s kind of like dried apricots… only more flesh-colored?

  20. RichPort

    If I were that guy I’d wash my hand immediately.

    #19 – Why you hating on B? She’s got my zipper dragon in a leglock… well not really but you can’t tell me, my box of kleenex, or my sticky keyboard otherwise…

  21. jesseeca

    nice jeans britney & better yet, nice gold platforms. did you borrow those from Elton John circa 1984?

    I have a genius idea, how about you try and carry your two babies around with those extra long jeans and almost drop them?!

    And your hair style is approximately one strand away from becoming a mullet which pretty much suits your current lifestyle choices.

  22. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Fat chicks give the best head. So sayeth the lore of those who receiveth from the ladies of girth.

  23. So, her flashing her cootch all over the web was just a little marketing ploy for Victoria’s Secret…geez, who could have seen that coming.

    I guess you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the….

  24. It’s kinda cool that she has a sense of humor about it, although I think she is retarded for not doing playboy, she might as well.

  25. polypam

    #27… “cool that she has a sense of humor about it” ??? It would have been cooler if she’d WORN SOME FUCKING PANTIES!

    But give the girl a break as far as her 5 years-behind fashion sense is concerned. Remember, she was tied to her children for the past two years and not only couldn’t she go out and get pantiless drunk with friends, but her subscription to Cosmo Girl ran out and she just didn’t get a chance to renew. Let’s just be glad she isn’t squeezing her flabby ass into skinny jeans (shudder).

  26. until someone says different, i’m gonna assume that’s her gay backup dancer from 1999.. tj?

  27. Huh? Happy Holidays to you too Britney. From your friends at

  28. HughJorganthethird

    She’s just getting started? Sweet! what’s next shots of Brit at the club with anal beads hangin out her tush? Threeways with a pit bull and hemaphrodite? the mind boggles…

  29. At least she can poke fun at herself. God knows we’ve all been doing it

  30. Jenster

    im so embarresed for her.
    and that whole “i didnt get to go out for 2 years” bit is really old.
    its really bad when Courteny Love has a one
    up on you. She recently wrote:
    “Say what you will about me, but when my daughter was born, I stayed home with her
    for years straight.”
    Now granted, Miss Love proboly spent that time shooting up smack in the bathroom, but atleast she was spitting distance to the
    strangely well adjusted Frances Bean. More than I can say for Britney. Wow, Courtney Love.Model mom?

  31. leewhee

    5-year-old aunt from West Virginia? Until you corrected it, I actually believed it.

  32. aliomali

    So, she knows about panties, she just refuses to buy or wear them?

  33. pcgeek

    #13 and 21, loooove it! LMAO!!

    Seriously now, who thinks she can sell any records anymore? My little girl is not interested in Brit anymore. She has been totally turned off ever since Brit and Madge kissed. If the tweens are done with her, who is left?? Will she ever be what she was? And more importantly, was there ever any real talent there or just the product of the publicity machines that pump out these TV starlets and merchandise?

  34. “Thank God for Victoria Secret’s new underwear line?” – WTF?? That’s her subtle excuse for not wearing panties? Fruit of the Loom and Hanes too common for that golden pootch of hers? She had to wait for the geniuses of undergarment research to unveil their new line, for panties to evolve to her trailerpark high standards, before donning a pair. No doubt when this inbred cornhole finally covers up that war wound she calls a cunt she’ll do so with a pair of crotchless panties. She probably puts her thongs on backwards.

  35. TaterFace

    I think that guy’s face is a pretty good idea of what a bag of smashed assholes actually looks like.

    o/~ ….Like a Rhinestone Cowboy….

  36. Britt,

    You haven’t gone out in two years? Here is a fucking idea. TAKE YOUR KIDS TO DISNEYLAND, take them to the park, take them to the beach. We have NEVER EVER seen you on a true vacation outing with your kids you classless cooze. You married that tool, you got yourself knocked up twice, now go be a mother. Oh, and the comment about not going out in two years? Yeah, well lots of women deal with that, and guess what they do, they go out ONE OR TWO NIGHTS with friends, hang out and GO HOME to their families. They don’t go out 14 days in a row, hoover up coke, get fucked in bathrooms and flash their gash to the world. You are a stupid spoiled little girl who doesn’t realize that those two things that popped out of your vag aren’t dolls and actually need to be cared for. Give them to K-Fed, at least he’ll take care of them because they are his meal ticket, then you can go out and flash your meat flaps to whoever you want you bovine skank

    With Love,

  37. copycat

    It’s been two years since she celebrated her birthday? Well, it’s been about seven months since I celebrated my birthday–because my birthday is in May.

  38. copycat

    It’s been two years since she celebrated her birthday? Well, it’s been about seven months since I celebrated my birthday–because my birthday is in May.

  39. pursang

    Fruit of the Looms and Hanes just can’t stand up to Shitney’s infested cooter juice. Victoria Secret’s new Celebrity line of panties are made of a special material that will hold up to the STD/Super Herpes/Good Old Fashioned crab infested cunts of todays hip young celebrities.

    So look for them soon at Victoria’s Secret near you, at only $100/pair they’re a steal!!

  40. techclerk

    Wow, this is twice today that I get to say it again!

    Britney Spears would have to lip sync a queebe.

    Seeya guys again tomorrow.

  41. Mya

    that message is almost grammatically correct, it’s hard to believe britney wrote it. and the attempt at sarcasm — wow! — has girlfriend been poring over books with paris hilton?

  42. Shelley Bonnechance

    Two years since she celebrated her birthday?

    You mean, in two years she hasn’t gotten a present from anyone or a card in the mail or anyone calling on the phone to say “Hey, sweetie, happy birthday!”


    in two years she hasn’t gone out, neglected her children, snorted enough coke to effect the GNP of Colombia for the next five years, got stumbling drunk five or six nights in a row, hung out with a bunch of other sluts and showed the entire world the complete inner workings of her girl parts?

    Because if it is Choice #2, I have never, ever celebrated a single birthday in all of my many years on earth. Do you think Britney will feel sorry for me?

  43. Gizmola

    You know, when I first read her missive I was feeling better about ole Brit – at least she could laugh at herself.

    Until I realized that she has 2 CHILDREN at home.

    It’s one thing to get out of a bad marriage and party down for a bit to celebrate.

    It’s a WHOLE other thing to do it while draped across the corpse of a parasite like Paris and leaving your babies (that’s right, Britney…TWO OF THEM) at home for her sad excuse of a mother to watch them.

    Can’t we stage an intervention of our own, hire some ninjas to kidnap Sean and Jayden and give them to Whitney and Bobby to raise? Seriously. It’s that bad, the future ex-Mrs. Federline – I want two confirmed crackheads to raise your children. Otherwise your mother will teach them to “sing” and “dance” a la you and they’ll be making baby porn while drinking 40′s, smoking Marlboro Reds and turning orange from the Cheeto dust.

    Sweet baby Jesus, what’s wrong with her? Seriously. Is she retarded? Aren’t there laws about having to have an IQ higher than your three-month old?

    OMG. Maybe the babies aren’t with Lynne. Maybe she ate them. That could account for her double chin.

    Maybe Lindsay kidnapped them in retaliation for being “dissed.” I hope to god that’s true – I am DYING to read Lindsay’s ransom note:


    I have babees of yous and in a adequite world Al Gore, a respected political man, will help me to keep you from having these babees until you and Paris stop being mean and dragging down the education on the Americas. Tell the tabloid writers that you think I’m cool and that you know what it’s like to lose people who are amazing and close to you like that Richard Altaman guy who died and my heart breaks because he was like a focal point for me and you know about the 12st books and things.

    You don’t know me but I am so not Lindsay Lohan ’cause she is really good with words and writings and things.

  44. aurealis

    Whoa. I know I should be making some ugly shot about her vage, but after reading Lohan’s weird diatribe, Brit’s letter seems like friggin’ Proust. Way not write more than your brain can handle, B. Meanwhile, where the hell is Nicole Richie?

  45. Saera

    This is the first time ever I’ve seen her in a good outfit!

  46. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    This is the first time I ever masturbated at work, and man it feels great.

    Well, actually, it’s the 78th time. At THIS job.

  47. EJ

    This may have been noted already (I’m too lazy to read), but…

    “I’m just getting started” sounds like a threat. Like, “You think I’ve been neglecting my kids? YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ YET!!”

    I can only assume that, two months from now, we’ll be reading how little Sean doesn’t remember mommy’s face and baby Jayden has died from too much formula/lack of breast-milk/somethink equally tragic.

    The weird thing is, two weeks ago, I would have laughed if you’d asked me which one (Brti or K-Fed) would make a better parent. Now… Brit’s coking with Paris, fucking random guys in bathrooms, staying out all night long drinking, and pole dancing without pants. K-Fed is… dating an attractive ex-porn star and not meeting projected sales for his new album.

    In all fairness, I say give the kids to dad. The ex-porn star only has HER vejay photo’d a few times in a “professional” setting, as opposed to Brit, so the kids will be less traumatized. Also, it will keep them from Paris and her super-herpes.

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