Part of the reason Britney Spears lost her kids is because she failed to follow the judge’s instructions and take a drug test. But why did she skip those tests? Was she negotiating world peace? Reading to her kids? Aw, no, wait, she was sleeping. Hey, it’s hard work letting nannies watch your kids while you drink Frappucinos. E! Online reports:
Sources close to the proceedings told the Los Angeles Times that Spears’ assistant twice informed the testing lab that her boss was asleep and then on another occasion told the technicians that Spears would be unavailable to take a test at home.
I catch a lot of flack for the Britney loves fast food comments. But, seriously, at this point I’m just trying to help. Had somebody took Britney’s hand and offered to take her to Carl Jr.’s if she peed in a cup, all of this could’ve been avoided. She probably would’ve filled a bathtub if you threw in a trip to the DQ. The woman has a weakness for fast food. She loves it more than her kids. Use her weakness for good. Train her. Mold her. Or you can just sit there and let Britney make a music video (above) where she pretends to be a stripper. Except no one has the heart to tell Britney she’s the type of stripper that makes a guy get up and leave – because his penis is crying.
NOTE: Above is Britney Spears’ new music video for Gimme More. So either ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘I’m sorry.’ I can’t figure out which is appropriate here.
EDIT: YouTube pulled the video.
hegadeth | October 5, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Enough already.
Melanie | October 5, 2007 at 12:17 pm
It suck.
Tim | October 5, 2007 at 12:19 pm
You dumb.
frist | October 5, 2007 at 12:20 pm
1st muthafuckas!
Jimbo | October 5, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Speaking on behalf of all hetero guys: I just rubbed out the first of MANY to this video!
* MISS UNIVERSE | October 5, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Are her assistants so afraid of losing their jobs, that they do not have the courage to wake her up and give her the option of refusing the service.
One recent Bodyguard claims he was fired for not hearing her when she asked him to pick up her hat, He then turned against her in a big , big way.
Understandably, she is in a situation that none of us can ever imagine. But where is her parents in all of this.????????????
jive | October 5, 2007 at 12:22 pm
the song’s actually good. poor thing.
SHE LOOKS HOT | October 5, 2007 at 12:24 pm
i would rather see this than milk-toast sophia bush drink iced tea!
thank you!
i know i know…. she eats cheetos, and she doesn’t have nice fingernails
but i dont give a F*CK!
veggi | October 5, 2007 at 12:24 pm
sooooooooo, she’s watching michael jackson dance on a pole? WTF?
NICE | October 5, 2007 at 12:28 pm
she has a lovely lower back
Britney S. | October 5, 2007 at 12:30 pm
I look hot ya’ll! Don’t hate!
veggi | October 5, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Great, now I’ve got a snail trail on my chair. I guess I liked the video more than I realized.
Lizzy | October 5, 2007 at 12:30 pm
That looks like a parody of herself. Very strange. I like how she was humping the mirror. It reminds me of that Tucker Max story where he dances with himself in a mirror for an hour. I can’t wait until Britney pulls an Anna Nicole. ::crosses fingers::
IKE | October 5, 2007 at 12:31 pm
With the “blur” that ‘s going on in the video…it looks almost like the same old Brit.
….that I’d hit.
….and wouldn’t quit.
SOMEONE STOP ME!!!!
Ok….I’ll zip it.
arf | October 5, 2007 at 12:32 pm
anyone notice this video was made really blurry and shit? prolly to hide her hideous ass
hegadeth | October 5, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Wow, I was first. Now I can go back to being the big angry, drunk, tard that I am. Life is complete.
Film Techie | October 5, 2007 at 12:33 pm
I love how they distorted the film to make everything slightly longer making her appear to be thinner than she really was at the time of shooting. Look at the shots of her during the making of the video and then look at the video…they spent a pretty penny Photoshopping her hamburger ass.
not gonna lie | October 5, 2007 at 12:33 pm
this did something for me
freakwad | October 5, 2007 at 12:34 pm
@15 it’s a recording of it on a TV… tard.
i like the song, and britney looks good in it. i don’t like the fake platinum blonde wig though.
hey 15 | October 5, 2007 at 12:35 pm
it looks like the showed a little oh her HOT ass.
mrs.t | October 5, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Even with the Goddess Lens and a barrel of vaseline smeared on it that cheapass weave looks…..just bad.
Music Exec | October 5, 2007 at 12:36 pm
All the elements are still there. She can be packaged successfully. Her fans want the same thing, over and over again, and we already know what that thing is, so it’s easy to know when you’ve hit the target. It’s like teaching a classroom full of Down Syndrome students – when they smile through all the drool you know you’ve reached them. But in the past Britney made most of her money off of touring, not album sales, and it’s hard to imagine she could do a tour without falling apart, canceling dates, or even getting arrested. If she can’t tour in support of this album and do her dance-lipsync thing at the arena level, it’ll sink like a brick and producers might not be eager to fund another album.
Jewel | October 5, 2007 at 12:36 pm
the song is good… but the video sucks. it is so repetitive. too many flashing lights and stupid shots of her ass and back. the only thing that’s good about it is when she flashes a big smile.. it’s nice to see that for once.
Barry LeFarge | October 5, 2007 at 12:37 pm
I thought drugs kept you a wake? What the hell is she on?
Liz | October 5, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Remember back in the good days when we used to make fun of her because she had ridiculously enthusiastic backup dancers or because she was sexualizing young girls and all that? I miss those days. This was the most visually unappealing music video I’ve ever seen. Clearly they spent $5 on the set and Sweet Jesus, does she know NOTHING about how to work a stripper pole? Seriously? Or was that just to make sure she stayed standing during the shoot?
God, it’s just getting worse.
Where I come from | October 5, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Carls’ Jr. is called Hardeez
freakwad | October 5, 2007 at 12:38 pm
did anyone else catch the kevin look-alike in the video? haha
mrs.t | October 5, 2007 at 12:40 pm
It’s gonna be hard to tour when none of the Clearchannel stations will play her songs. She’s doomed forever to the “Flashback Weekend” playlist.
It’s also going to be difficult to tour if she can’t get her stank ass out of bed.
STOP IT | October 5, 2007 at 12:40 pm
She’s not even worth making fun of anymore. Make it go away, just stop reporting on her.
WTF? | October 5, 2007 at 12:44 pm
I wanted to see the black haired Brit make out with the blonde haired one!
DON"T STOP | October 5, 2007 at 12:44 pm
i love knowing whats going on in her life.
i hope this will never end
i don’t think it will
shes CRAZY FUN!
Butho | October 5, 2007 at 12:45 pm
It was done cleverly enough – just put a bunch of stuff in, like look-alikes and butt flashes, and given her non-stop papz coverage, it’ll be talked about enough to sell her album. Americans are stupid and shallow, and rich and irresponsible. You’re getting exactly what you deserve (just like on 9/11).
dan the man | October 5, 2007 at 12:50 pm
I believe she also does well in Europe #32. i’d rather be rich and know how to be comfortable, than poor and dirty like you sand ni99er. ( no offense to the good ones )
im sure our country is responsible for many deaths in your country too. you deserved it for being so self-righteous im sure.
dan the man | October 5, 2007 at 12:51 pm
now im going to eat a cheeseburger and burn some dollar bills for fun. i wonder what is on tv.
craigj | October 5, 2007 at 12:52 pm
If Brit was the stripper I would not be throwing dollar bills at her.
14:57, 14:58, 14:59 …
Erik | October 5, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Was this video edited by some NYU film student on his Final Crap Pro in his dorm room? This video is horrible!!!
Fox News Watcher | October 5, 2007 at 12:52 pm
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Texas Tranny | October 5, 2007 at 12:53 pm
@32,
What the fuck are you talking about?
9/11 ???????
9/11/ 1970 when Ford introduced the Pinto?
Cindee | October 5, 2007 at 12:54 pm
brit-brit all i can say is ur the best ur the best ur the best ur the best u are so nice love ur songs lov always!!!
Butho | October 5, 2007 at 12:55 pm
#38 – 9″ in the mouth and 11″ in the ass. I thought you of all people would know what I was referring to.
TT | October 5, 2007 at 12:55 pm
9/11/ 1609 when Henry Hudson lands on Manhattan Island?
Sammy | October 5, 2007 at 12:57 pm
britney spears- oh my god she is angel. her voice is like a angel voice. she is prety girl all over the world. i like her fashion statement. she is superb celebrity.
Luy Sel | October 5, 2007 at 12:57 pm
I love how they focused on her upper body throughout the whole thing ’cause showing all of her would be fatal *lol*
Texas Tranny | October 5, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Oh yeah, baby, one more time.
mrs.t | October 5, 2007 at 12:59 pm
#42-Simmer down, Sammy. She still won’t make sexy time with you.
Mentra | October 5, 2007 at 1:00 pm
@43 ya rite. I watched it twice so I could time my load-spewing to one of those awesome ass shots. Whoever put this together knew what he was doing.
notmeganharris | October 5, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Maybe Brangelina can adopt her kids? They only have that one white one…
TT | October 5, 2007 at 1:00 pm
9/11 1918 – when the Boston Red Sox win last World Series until 2004?
memei | October 5, 2007 at 1:01 pm
britney est un angel, avec pretty face and smile. she est numbre 1.
her body is tones, butt and thighs, lower back. pretty shape legs, cuite nose so small, smile so bright, eyes so big.
funky outfits and accessorizzes,
fun
hip
junk food cool
best
mrs.t | October 5, 2007 at 1:02 pm
#47-wow, I had totally forgotten about megan harris. It’s been at least a year, right?