Britney Spears slept through drug test – twice

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Part of the reason Britney Spears lost her kids is because she failed to follow the judge’s instructions and take a drug test. But why did she skip those tests? Was she negotiating world peace? Reading to her kids? Aw, no, wait, she was sleeping. Hey, it’s hard work letting nannies watch your kids while you drink Frappucinos. E! Online reports:

Sources close to the proceedings told the Los Angeles Times that Spears’ assistant twice informed the testing lab that her boss was asleep and then on another occasion told the technicians that Spears would be unavailable to take a test at home.

I catch a lot of flack for the Britney loves fast food comments. But, seriously, at this point I’m just trying to help. Had somebody took Britney’s hand and offered to take her to Carl Jr.’s if she peed in a cup, all of this could’ve been avoided. She probably would’ve filled a bathtub if you threw in a trip to the DQ. The woman has a weakness for fast food. She loves it more than her kids. Use her weakness for good. Train her. Mold her. Or you can just sit there and let Britney make a music video (above) where she pretends to be a stripper. Except no one has the heart to tell Britney she’s the type of stripper that makes a guy get up and leave – because his penis is crying.

NOTE: Above is Britney Spears’ new music video for Gimme More. So either ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘I’m sorry.’ I can’t figure out which is appropriate here.

EDIT: YouTube pulled the video.