Britney Spears signs tour deal

Britney Spears is laying the groundwork for a major worldwide tour that amazingly just five months ago would’ve been considered a form of international terrorism. I guarantee the Netherlands would’ve surrendered. E! Online reports:

While the comeback pop princess revealed last month that she was planning on hitting the road next year, a source now tells me that things are getting serious. Spears just signed a deal with the mega huge live entertainment company AEG to produce the whole shebang, my source says.

I can’t think of a better beacon of America’s greatness than showing the world Britney Spears no longer looks like she’s in her second trimester. Sure, China might technically own our entire country, but have you seen Womanizer? U.S.A.!