Britney Spears rehabs in style

February 27th, 2007 // 86 Comments

Britney Spears reportedly booked an entire wing at the Promises treatment facility where she’s currently in rehab. She allegedly wanted to avoid mixing with other patients and was also worried about stories being leaked to the media so she paid for every room in her wing. A source says:

“She wants all the rooms on her wing. It will cost her hundreds of thousands. If that’s what she needs to get well, good for her.”

I tried renting out all the rooms at rehab once, but the chick behind the counter said they didn’t accept chewing gum and a paper clip as payment. Then when I handed her my credit card she threw it back at me and said it was a receipt from Denny’s. Plus I ordered a donut and never got it. Man, rehab sucks.


  1. Defcon

    Maybe lonely old men bought it too.

  2. laur

    My understanding of rehab is that the whole point is to connect with others who are going through the same thing, through group therapy and stuff. And you’re supposed to come clean about your behavior because “you’re only as sick as your secrets.” Rather than making sure no one can get near you. It sounds like Britney is NOT getting with the program. Which is not particularly surprising, but it seems irresponsible of the facility to let her do that. She needs to be treated like everyone else.

  3. drowningfool

    Let’s not forget just a couple years ago this chick ruled the world with her sultry dance moves and magnetic sex appeal. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, women get ugly way too fast these days. If Britney can turn into that beast, what kind of creatures do normal women turn into? (scroll up to the pic of jenna jameson for the answer)

  4. E Norma Stitz

    Has anyone ever seen Brit with a man? And by man I don’t mean Federline or any of the boys she’s been spotted and photographed with. I mean like a porn star man that could make her scream AC/DC covers while ramrodding her.

    So, Britney NEEDS the cock.

    To hell with rehab, find some porn star with a 15 inch schlong, and no morals, is blind and doesn’t mind boring into barnyard animals and slutty diva cock-starved sluts.

    That’s the rehab she desperately needs.

  5. E Norma Stitz

    correction…slutty diva cock-starved celebs.

  6. It’s just better for everyone this way….I wouldn’t want to be in the same wing as this crazy-ass, umbrella-wielding bitch

  7. HollyJ

    Mississippi Bitch is DONE

  8. PansyAston

    Yes, she needs to be detoxed ands rehabbed, not pampered and sedated. Betty Ford, Hazelden, not some quasi-resort!
    She’s a sick child who was let down by those who knew.

    And she’s not from Mississippi, she’s from Kentwood, Louisiana.

    And keep your bigoted redneck remarks to yourself!

  9. TrimSpaBaby

    #58 She ain’t no child, she’s a woman with two children who never was too smart to begin with and never had to grow up. Maybe now she’ll start to.

  10. Slinxter

    This is what having kids can do for YOU!

  11. heather

    looking at Britney’s bald head never gets not funny, thanks for the chuckle…

  12. TrimSpaBaby

    I just keep having these nightmares about Mr. Clean attacking my car…

  13. MrSemprini

    You know you’re somebody when you get a troll!

    Whoops, gotta go… Dang, just a car alarm.

  14. fergernauster

    Just wanted to report that I’ve employed this particular photo as a “muse”, if you will… for an acrylic portrait that presently hangs above my credenza.

    All visitors may gaze upon it when entering my home. I’ve not had one in-residence drunken, violent episode since!

  15. 63. And by “somebody”, you might just mean “a retarded cock whore who lives in his mom’s basement and bathes monthly.”

  16. fergernauster

    I’m a troll, you’re a troll… We are ALL trolls.

  17. fergernauster

    She is re-loading the barrel of that umbrella.

  18. TashaVin`

    Just thought I’d mention, I just heard on the radio… Ms. Spears is suspected of having Post Partum Depression. While Britney does like to drink, she doesn’t have a problem. They are also looking into the possibility of her being Bi-Polar. Just thought I’d share that. Someone mentioned they’d blame her behavior on Post Partum Depression… :o)

  19. TashaVin`

    #55 Isn’t she from Lousiana??

  20. TrimSpaBaby

    #68 Yeah, I don’t have a problem when I drink, either. I married a guy for a couple days in Vegas and puked in some cars and flashed a lot of people when I wasn’t wearing panties, but I don’t have an alcohol problem, no, not me!

  21. TrimSpaBaby

    #69 Do you mean #57? See #58.

  22. Niecy

    So BS thinks she is too good to socialize with other drug addicts? That is hilarious. She has a very high opinion of herself.

  23. wtf

    She is finally getting back to her Louisiana wt roots. She would blend into the crowd at any Walmart in Louisiana. This isn’t so much a dig at her but more of a dig at wt Louisiana chicks..they’re skeeeeery

  24. rrd

    Poor thing! Why are her “handlers” letting her do that? She needs to get in touch with reality, not live in a vacuum. I’m sick of it for real now. She doesn’t even know how to get help. She is being enabled by “yes-people” and her downward spiral will continue until she does herself in.

  25. TrimSpaBaby

    #74 What “handlers”? She’s not a puppy, she’s a woman with a lot of money and the idea that because of that, no one can tell her what to do. She’s surrounded by people who do what she wants, so don’t blame them. I think if someone told her anything she didn’t want to hear, they’d be fired pretty fast. Ultimately, she’s reponsible for herself and her actions.

  26. fergernauster

    #75… Does she have “a lot of” money? No one truly knows. She hasn’t seriously “worked” for years and that spliff Federslime surely milked her bazooms nearly dry.

    A respectable drug addiction will skim plenty of meat off any earnings.

    Perhaps she is nearly penniless.

    But I don’t really care.

  27. jesseeca

    Aren’t you suppose to mix with the other people in the program? Isn’t that part of the treatment? Oh wait, I forgot this isn’t really a rehabilitation center, it’s a place where you pay 48Gs to hide out so no one sees your awkward stages of hair growth.

  28. TrimSpaBaby

    #76 I think the estimate is around $40-45 mill, down from $150 that was estimated 2 years ago. I’m sure that includes the house that FedEx will get part of. Anyway, her attitude is that she can do what she wants, so she does.
    Oh, wait, did she sell her hair on eBay? Put that into the pot.

  29. Lowlands

    It’s amazing what hair can do for a woman.I dunno who said this but it must have been shakespeare.Translated from old Celtic slang;hair or no hair that’s the question.

  30. Lowlands

    #79)It’s ‘sleng’ not slang.*Giggles like a young silly girl*

  31. Zoey

    Observe the way Brit holds that umbrella.

    Looks like she’s holding a firearm, doesn’t it?


  32. Gigi

    from TMZ: The head of the Betty Ford Clinic tells Newsweek that these perks “trivialize what we do. The best thing for you in rehab is to sit next to a guy from skid row and realize you’re just as much an alcoholic as he is. Learning humility is part of the recovery process.”

    I wonder how many people can’t check into rehab now, because of the wing Britany booked. What a cunt!

  33. whitegold

    Some one needs to slap her out of the little bubble she’s living in and knock some sense in to her. Seriously. Normal people just can’t do things like that. And right now, she’s having a mental breakdown and needs to be fixed like a normal person, not given the continued “celebrity” treatment that just waxes over the problems and lets her do whatever she wants and continues to be insane.

  34. mybella

    I agree with #45 and #82.
    Britney has such a distorted view of herself and her importance in the universe. It reminds me of how out of touch with real life Jessica Simpson was in “Newlyweds.”

    She does need to scrub some toilets and have to stand in line to wait for stuff and all the other annoying and mundane crap the rest of us have to do.

    “Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be pop stars.”
    Uncle Fester, I mean Britney, is the poster child for that motto.

  35. WTF?

    Britney Broke Brella!

  36. yeah, well she has gained weight, but a whole wing?

Leave A Comment