Britney Spears rehabs in style

February 27th, 2007 // 86 Comments

Britney Spears reportedly booked an entire wing at the Promises treatment facility where she’s currently in rehab. She allegedly wanted to avoid mixing with other patients and was also worried about stories being leaked to the media so she paid for every room in her wing. A source says:

“She wants all the rooms on her wing. It will cost her hundreds of thousands. If that’s what she needs to get well, good for her.”

I tried renting out all the rooms at rehab once, but the chick behind the counter said they didn’t accept chewing gum and a paper clip as payment. Then when I handed her my credit card she threw it back at me and said it was a receipt from Denny’s. Plus I ordered a donut and never got it. Man, rehab sucks.


  1. 86

    Poor Britney

  2. RichPort


  3. 86

    I can’t decide what’s funnier….nevermind.

  4. killahcheese

    I thought she a brokeback poor now?

  5. 86

    Britney’s had those shoes since junior high.

  6. tomdeleteseverypageimake

    so now she has a multitude of rooms awaiting her for when she leaves rehab then comes back and leaves then comes back multiple times. at least she went in prepared this time. ha….what a loser

  7. 2for2true


    Someone get Uncle Fester a new umbrella!

  8. sevenandaswitchblade

    This pick reminds me of a German porno I once saw. That umbrella ended up getting pretty wrecked too.

  9. 86

    For a minute there I forgot she was bald.

    I guess “the comeback” is going to be put on hold until she grows some hair. Does she realize how long it takes to grow hair? There are cancer patients out there right this minute going “why?????” Wait a minute, there are healthy people our there wondering the same thing. hmm.

  10. iburl

    I think she’s on the road to Michael Jackson-style poverty. You know, the kind of poverty you get from spending like a billionaire with no income at all from your former carrer. Eventually she will be moving to Bahrain or Malasia to live in the local prince’s castle where they still listen to music from 15 years ago.

  11. sikofdis

    #7 – Fucking Funny! I love this picture…What a loser-cunt.

  12. polypam

    Suddenly visions “Back To School” pop into my head, specifically when Rodney Dangerfield took over several dorm rooms to become one big luxury pad. Next thing you know, Britney will be throwing parties and having Oingo Boingo play.

  13. Danner

    Glad I’m not a celebrity that was constantly being bothered. I would be in jail before Britney could flash her snatch. I don’t blame her for this one.

  14. llllllllll

    She looks like Tony Montana here…with a machine gun

  15. I’ve gotta say, I feel really sorry for Britney now.

  16. twzzlrgirl

    This picture is priceless. It is sure to be made into a large mantle portrait hanging in the Spears/Federline home.

    God, **sniff** she must make her kids proud!

  17. llllllllll


  18. PunjabPete

    Well, at least she will finally be able to address her problem with self importance and feeling like the world revolves around her….

    Custom meals, yoga, massages…. She is well on her way to addressing the demon within….

  19. leezastudio

    she is not doing anything now, deosn’t she get that money will one day run out, and it’s seriously not helping spending it like on extra rooms, oh ‘cmon princess, you are not that fucking interasting to have to “hide from ppl” whatever, i hope she’s be blowing ppl for money soon, wait, she probably does that now, but for free, will have to start charging soon honey!

  20. Conky

    Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

  21. crestlin

    i love hick white people, bc they are so damn entertaining. no matter how much money they could possibly make, it’s never enough to make the redneck go away ;)

  22. MrSemprini

    She was saying something like, “Don’t mess with me. You wanna mess with me? Look what this umbrella got for messing with me. Its MESSED UP now. Do NOT mess with me! I will MESS YOU UP!” Then she got distracted by some Ding-Dongs and we rescued the umbrella. The doctor says it should be up for some light showers by summer. I never did catch that girls name. Pippi Smears, I think…

    Whoops, gotta go, Sirens!

  23. twzzlrgirl

    #17 — LOL. Cracked me up.

    Maybe the rooms aren’t for privacy….maybe she got them for all her crazy little imaginary friends?

  24. DeArmond

    im shocked she has money.
    what is she being treated for?

  25. RichPort

    Looks like my stepdaughter when I told her she couldn’t borrow my car.

  26. NicotineEyePatch

    I can’t wait until the post-partum headlines come out as a reason for her behaviour. Because that’s exactly where this is headed. Minimizes the drug use, she gets to be a complete victim, and the comeback will seem so much more fucking miraculous.

  27. Stink


  28. NicotineEyePatch

    I’m starting to think she went, and is going, extra crazy so that the impending comeback would be extra miraculous.

    Because when somebody’s life is that contrived, it’s hard to feel sorry for them when things go sour.

  29. cecily

    I don’t see what would be so bad about stories about her leaking out. It’s not like she can look any worse in the public eye. She fucked herself over without the help of others. I enjoy this.

  30. People leaking new stories about her are the least of her worries, NOTHING could be worse than whats been written about her in the last few weeks.

    I seriously doubt that anybody would want to be anywhere near this bitch in rehab.

  31. fag4eva

    I hope Britney does make a comeback, I miss her pre-pregnant body… oh she sings aswell?

  32. fame is funny

    Didn’t she smash some guy with the umbrella? Shouldn’t that be news..or no?

  33. karifarrell

    Aaaawww…MrSemprini knows everybody!!!
    I can totally relate to Britney. I feel like smashing shit up all the time, I just don’t because I don’t have enough money for all the crack I would have to be on to do that, that’s all.

  34. karifarrell

    Know what I like best about Britney?

  35. belle

    Lovin those socks.

  36. NicotineEyePatch

    At the bottom of that pic it should say

  37. abdomtv

    i agree…
    poor britney!!

  38. Bugman4045

    Let’s see… Brit is gonna get sober and learn to work a program based on humility and honesty, yet she is gonna do it by having a bunch of toadies step and fetch to her demands. Unhuh. Yeah. She’ll stay sober, I’m sure.
    BTW, where the fuck is the publicist telling us what Britney is rehabing from?

  39. I’d love a poster of that pic. Looks like she’s playing air guitar with the umbrella. Perhaps to the strains of “More Than A Feeling”…

  40. RichPort

    I’d fuck her. Nobody fucks as intensely as acutely insane chicks. Just ask schack.

  41. Hecubus

    So, exactly how many people with real drug problems are going to be unable to get treatment now she’s bought their rooms ? oh sorry I mean, poor Britney.

  42. karifarrell

    I have a feeling she’s addicted to alcohol and painkillers. Because back when I was addicted to alcohol and painkillers, I was very easily aggravated. I too, wanted to use my umbrella for violence instead of rain. But that was a long long time ago.
    And plus you puke a lot.

  43. PunjabPete

    #41… Since treatment there costs $48,000 a month, I am pretty sure the average joe is not getting screwed by her actions….

  44. Bugman4045

    First…#8 and #21, pure Superficial gold!
    Now #41. $48000 a month?!?! Holy crap!
    I would charge here 10k a month and give her the Buffalo Bill rehab treatment. That’s where I throw her down a well and dance around in dresses while I scream at her.


  45. my opinion

    She needs to be in the Betty Ford Clinic if she is serious about getting better. Britney is so far gone that this feel good put a bandaid on the problem place is a joke. The first thing she needs is to be humbled and accept help. Some toilet scrubbing and mopping sure helped the serious addicts and she is one whether her press people say it or not. Stop the SPINNING and get the junkie some life changing lasting help!!!

  46. lickmybutt

    oh my dear britney, how you amuse me so.

    and holy muther, you guys are freaking cracking me the fuck up on this one. my coworkers are giving me dirty looks for laughing so much.
    thanks guys. :)

  47. aurealis

    jeez louise! What kind of stories about her is she afraid will shock us now? I mean, we’ve pretty much seen the grosses parts of her, ehem, psyche this year. What’s left? Her rabbit-blood addiction? Perhaps she eats her own earwax?

  48. Dan

    It’s funny that they let her do that

  49. karifarrell

    #47 I don’t know, but I bet that guy that got whacked in the back with an umbrella by Britney Spears has some stories to tell….he’s so lucky.
    How come nothing good ever happens to me???

  50. Carsten5577

    Can someone tell me why this talentless, baldheaded ugly whore is rich? Who ever bought her music besides pimple-faced 13-year old girls?

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