Britney Spears receiving ‘guidance’ from Mel Gibson

June 11th, 2008 // 45 Comments

Apparently, it’s Spiritual Awareness Day on The Superficial. People is reporting that Britney Spears is now under the divine tutelage of Mel Gibson. Christ! It appears the two met for over two hours last night at a Beverly Hills cigar club:

For more than two-and-a-half hours, the singer, 26, and the actor-filmmaker, 52, met in what was confirmed to PEOPLE as a more of an ongoing guidance session than a business pow-wow.
“Britney looked like a doll with bright red lipstick,” added the photog, who described her as “very quiet” and “with a serious look on her face as she walked in to the Havana Club.”
By contrast, an upbeat Gibson left his silver Lexus with the valet and walked in holding what was described as a “man-purse” up to his face and a look of “okay, you got me” as paparazzi snapped his picture.

This should end well. And by well I mean Britney drunkenly crashing her Mercedes into a synagogue after receiving promises of Taco Bell. Oh, Mel Gibson, how black is your heart? Now she’ll really never work in music again.*

*Check’s in the mail, sugartits. Signed, The Entire Human Race.


  1. bakinmycake

    Mel: First off, are you druish?

  2. ***

    And what kinda doll are they referring to?? A used blow up doll?? A voodoo doll?

  3. I know I’m on a lot of meds, but why did fish type the last paragraph twice? He’s starting to become one of US!!

  4. I know I’m on a lot of meds, but why did fish type the last paragraph twice? He’s starting to become one of US!!

  5. ph7

    Looking forward to Britney’s wacky Jesus Freak stage!

  6. Oh, I guess he fixed it. Now I just look high or stupid..
    Somebody say you saw it too!
    One more thing WHAT THE FUCKING HELL is Amy Crackwhore doing in number 3 spot of So Freaking Hot?? Actually, what are any of them doing there……..

  7. Randal

    Everytime I see Britney’s beautiful face I hear her voice singing Break the Ice, which is still going strong on the Top 40 Pop Charts in America. Those who thought her fall was just that, a fall, where dead wrong.

    She may have broken the ice after the MTV Music Awards but now she’s back melting it. Expect to hear that Britney will be a lead role in Mel’s new movie.

    Britney back on top? She never left.


  8. Grunion

    “Britney looked like a doll with bright red lipstick”

    Now where have I seen that before, oh yeah that’s right…

  9. Ted from LA

    This is a great idea. Brit should also get drinking advice from Andy Dick, driving advice from Nick Hogan, parenting advice from Lynn Spears and The Hoff, religious advice from Tom Cruise, drug advice from Amy Winehouse, life skills advice from Kim Kardashian, and political advice from the asshole on this site pretending to be Barack Obama.

  10. Grunion

    My post is right below the Pink Unicorns ! Trully a special, special day…

  11. Anonymous

    Randal, did Mommy and Daddy ignore you as a child? You seem to crave attention, positive or negative. And you know absolutely nothing about music, this is obvious by your comments about a washed up teen idol. She’s done, over, never to return. She has about a dozen 12-year old fans left, and you’re one of them.

  12. p0nk

    “…with a serious look on her face…”

    now that lufti isn’t suppying her with laxatives any more, this can’t be a good omen.

  13. p0nk

    Randal, ignore the haters. you are gold, my man. pure gold.

  14. deacon jones

    Mel Gibson is a pig (and thats saying a lot coming from me)

    He was banging this girl I knew from Drexel when he was filming “Signs” in eastern PA.

    He just wants to get his dick wet, nothing more

  15. Sid

    It wasn’t Britney giving the guidance, because it can find its way in pretty easily.

  16. Sergeant Roger Murtaugh

    Randal, what’s this about a new movie?? Damnit Riggs I’m too old for this shit!!

  17. bar room hero

    Randal is hilarious, I don’t know if he is being ironic or what! His comments always make me laugh

  18. Shep

    Britney should tell Mel that she’s jewish and watch that spiritual guidance train come to a grinding halt.

  19. ph7

    #14. And I’m sure the girl from Drexel just wanted to get banged by a movie star, nothing more. Sex for sex sake is OK, you know.

  20. Lola

    #9 – Ted from LA
    Ha hah a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. OMG that’s freaking hilarious and so right on target…. I can’t even say anything else cuz that hit everything I would have thought of….. LMAO…. Good one

    Oh and Randal #7, dude WTF???? I’m a little lost with you and your comments….. Britney never left the top? Please, it’s time to enter the year 2008…. It’s not 2002 anymore sweetie

  21. Randal

    Yes, “Randal”, you are a big hit.

    Unfortunately you prey on the most mentally fragile celebrities with your faux fawning. The only guiding Mel wants to provide is guiding you face into his lap.

    You need a safe place, deep away from the world, a place where you can rest, be hidden and improve your skin.

    I happen to have just the place for you, kind of an underground retreat.

    I’ll even lower you some lotion.

    It could have such lovely skin… If it only put the lotion on…

  22. FRIST, I bitched about that the other day. Look who is next Amy CrackWhore. That is not hot!!

  23. deacon jones

    He was married, plus, if you’re going to push your religion on people, practive what you preach. Religious people are the biggest fucking hypocrites out there.

  24. havoc

    Mel Gibson giving guidance?

    Isn’t that like making the arsonist the fire chief?


  25. Jimbo, yeah well, the ashlee dupree can stay I guess, although I don’t know what the fuss is about that hooker, but the rest…yeah, they gotta go..

  26. Yeah, Queen Latifah in a bikini? I think my Mongolian BBQ is about to come up..

  27. Hehe heh next thing you know they will be putting the housekeeper from Two and a Half Men up there..

  28. Charlie

    She’s a freaking Cow!!! Who gives a shot what happens to her?

  29. Britney is Fugly

    What happened to Britney??? She looks terrible. At best a 6, maybe a 7. She used to be a smokin’ hot 10. Remember her Esquire cover? Lots of teenage boys shot off a load to that pic. Now she looks like a regular Wal-Mart shopper. Sad.

  30. monkeyfightclub

    is it possible for her to look more disgusting?

  31. Binky

    LoL Ted.
    I used to think Mel was ok – but if the deacon says he’s a pig – who knows ?
    (He IS Australian Mr. Jones)

  32. chachou

    WHERE THE HELL IS BRITNEY’S STYLIST! lol.. seriously..

  33. Igottabemeeee

    Just thinking about the conversation between these two makes my head hurt.

  34. Randal Starfish Brown n Serve

    Mel Gibson is the man. Period. You fools need to get out more.

    Randal is cool. I like fucking with him too but he is a nice guy and that is more than can be said for most of us perverted assholes. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    Randal we are only fucking with you for fun.

  35. Rundle

    I’m the best there’s fucking ever been. Shitney isn’t fit to lick the klingons from my gootch. The last line of Mel’s next film will be….”CONDOOOOOOOOOOOM!” Mark my words.

  36. Rundle


  37. will

    Frist, please kill yourself. You have never seen a drug in your life, little girl.

  38. Jessica

    She’s looking a LOT better, but I’m sorry….she’s still a hot mess.

  39. babeyea

    Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. She will still rocks. It seems Britney is seeking true love online now. I saw her milllionairedatingsite ——”W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m**** last week. Good luck to her search.


  40. Jammy

    A: He is an expert on fucking up;
    B: She may show him her vajayjay

    It’s win-win

    if so, KILLER!!

  42. bitemebitch

    come on. this bitch is seriously wetarded!

  43. Description Short

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