Britney Spears planning comeback performance


Britney Spears met with MTV execs and presented them with an opening act for the upcoming Video Music Awards. Criss Angel helped design the performance that Britney hopes will return her to the forefront of modern pop. US Magazine reports:

“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” says a Spears insider, who adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.” One early idea that was canned? Performing “My Prerogative” amid a medley of hits, as images of exes Justin Timberlake, 26, and Kevin Federline, 29, and other gossip fodder flashed on a screen behind her. As for a report that she’d do a duet with Timberlake? “Totally, patently false,” says a Timberlake source.

You know what would be a really shocking performance? If MTV showed a video of Britney Spears staying at home, tending to her children and basically acting like a human being with normal maternal instincts. Nobody gets dropped or used for an ashtray. Child services doesn’t stop by. And most importantly, no one sees up Britney’s skirt. Will she and Criss Angel go that route? Probably not. She’s going to pull a rabbit out of a hat and gyrate on stage until it dies. Criss Angel will jump out of Britney’s leotard and yell “Abracadabra!” prompting your TV to self-destruct. It might be made out of circuits and metal, but goddammit if it doesn’t have a heart and won’t let you suffer.