Britney Spears planning comeback performance

August 30th, 2007 // 84 Comments
britney-spears-pink-bikini-candids-00.jpg

Britney Spears met with MTV execs and presented them with an opening act for the upcoming Video Music Awards. Criss Angel helped design the performance that Britney hopes will return her to the forefront of modern pop. US Magazine reports:

“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” says a Spears insider, who adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.” One early idea that was canned? Performing “My Prerogative” amid a medley of hits, as images of exes Justin Timberlake, 26, and Kevin Federline, 29, and other gossip fodder flashed on a screen behind her. As for a report that she’d do a duet with Timberlake? “Totally, patently false,” says a Timberlake source.

You know what would be a really shocking performance? If MTV showed a video of Britney Spears staying at home, tending to her children and basically acting like a human being with normal maternal instincts. Nobody gets dropped or used for an ashtray. Child services doesn’t stop by. And most importantly, no one sees up Britney’s skirt. Will she and Criss Angel go that route? Probably not. She’s going to pull a rabbit out of a hat and gyrate on stage until it dies. Criss Angel will jump out of Britney’s leotard and yell “Abracadabra!” prompting your TV to self-destruct. It might be made out of circuits and metal, but goddammit if it doesn’t have a heart and won’t let you suffer.

superficial

  1. she

    She has cum on her back?

  2. Graham

    First… eat it

  3. Graham

    Nevermind.. i need to eat it

  4. Want to know where Britney is going to be tomorrow night? you know you wanna…. click my name and all will be revealved!

    What you don’t want to know? how can anyone not be interested in the one women disaster???????????

  5. kathy

    please God, NO wardrobe malfunctions!!!

  6. she

    Graham is now eating the cum off britney’s back

  7. Chauncey Gardner

    #1,

    At this point, I wouldn’t even cum on her face. It’s no fun if the catcher isn’t capable of being humiliated.

  8. Hemlock Queen

    You know what? If she does do some kind of “cumback performance” I will watch that stupid show just to see the inevitable meltdown. I can’t wait!!!

  9. Check out MR PAPARAZZI for the latest Britney gossip! this is old news superficial watch out MR PAP knows his stuff….

  10. Hemlock Queen

    Oh yeah, Titney. You need to stop borrowing your younger sister’s tops and go get yourself something to hold those grandma tits in.

  11. Texas Tranny

    @10
    Damn straight.
    Is that a bikini? or a bra?

  12. Denise

    You are seriously on fire today with your wittyness. You’re always hilarious but there’s just something about today…

  13. its a good thing im deaf– so i wont be able to hear the boooo’s when she freaks out on stage…lol

    lol@ cum on her back — sorry that was me — i gave the bitch a towel — she should have cleaned up… dirty hoe.. !

    fist!

    ~420~

  14. http://WWW.BRITNEYSCOMEBACK.COM

    AS SEEN ON TMZ ON 8/29!!!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~do u believe?

  15. mywellrehearsedmistake

    You know what I can’t believe? That Mr Fish cropped down that photo of her holding a cigarette next to a nekked Sean Preston’s face. why superfish why?

    Are you trying to protect our brit-shit? OOOH, I bet you’re secretly in league with these nutcases who wanna see her comeback (cumback?)

    Well it ain’t gonna happen cos she’s a fruitloop.

  16. she

    agreed Chauncy.

  17. veggo

    @4- The revelation there is that you’re a fucking fag………….

    brit consults the 8 ball for advice.

    but feels staring at that bag of coke waiting for it to talk is about as likely as a comeback.

  18. Hecubus

    As much as I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up I can’t help but think this ‘shocking’ plan for the comeback is that she’s going to kill herself on stage. Her life has been going that way for a while now and I can’t help but think she’s just decided to go out with a bang. Midway through Oops I did it again she’ll pull out a revolver and shout, ‘I’m going to give you all the show you were looking for’ then blow her tiny brains out all over her faggoty backup dancers. Oh baby that’d be sweet.

  19. lambman

    “Totally, patently false,” says a Timberlake source. ”

    Ugh, even Justin’s PR people sound duchey

    at the very least this performance will prove to be entertaining, if only in a train wreck sort of way

  20. Ooba Gooba

    She thinks that one 3 or 4 minute performance is going to put her back “at the forefront”? This chick is beyond delusional, and so is anyone who thinks she will be making this huge comeback. She’s been talking about it for the last two years and I’ve yet to see anything that resembles that. Someone, please tell her it’s over, move out of L.A., try a different career path, and just fade away from the music scene. She had her time in the sun, she made her money, now it’s over.

    Someone please tell the media also. They haven’t figured out yet that she’s done.

  21. joni

    If she wants attention she might try adopting a group of racially diverse infants and toddlers, or join the Pussycat Dolls.

  22. veggo

    21- good idea, but she’d end up adopting recially diverse pussy cats….. because her 8 ball told her to.

  23. bob

    is this going to be like her other comeback where she danced around in a whore’s uniform & lip synced? ohhh i’ll set my tivo.

    she should try to actually sing. that would be more of a show and just her same old shitty act of flailing around in too tight clothes while you have a fake microphone on your fat head.

    i hope it’s even more disastrous than we’re expecting.

  24. mywellrehearsedmistake

    14. Who put internet access in the nuthouse?

  25. FACE

    What the hell does racially diverse mean? What a white thing to say.

  26. havoc

    mmmmm

    Cottage cheese thighs and fishnets.

    I can’t wait……..ya’ll.

    .

  27. joni

    25: Racially Diverse = obviously Jewish but trying to pass as gentile

  28. Jimbo

    God she’s hot. Can’t wait for the VMA’s!! Oh yea… Where’s that cumbucket Veggo??? I have a present for him..

  29. donkey

    The boob on the left looks broke

  30. Texas Tranny

    Hey Jimbo, can I help?

  31. @28 Good morning TROLL are you talking about your bother again? You use to be his cumbucket? and just and FYI, veggo is a female she is all female

  32. Atrieds

    Screw Brit, I’m having a ball just listening to tone loc!

  33. justplainconfused

    At this point, I think her big cumback should be on Saturday Night Live. She could sit there eating fried chicken in an expensive dress with her hair and makeup all over the place. At least on SNL I wouldn’t feel that slight pang of guilty for laughing at her train wreck of a life.

  34. my comment

    She’ll be gyrating on a stripper pole like Moose stuck in a tar pit.

    Can’t wait!

  35. mywellrehearsedmistake

    Racially diverse = the Brangelina Brood

    And you’re right, it’s probably a white thing to say.

    Probably replaced the “lesser races” and to the person who uses such a phrase it means “not like me”.

  36. She’s such a mess. She should tour with Heidi Montag and that douche of a boyfriend Spencer and the Hogan girl all on one bus. Then they should drive that bus off of a cliff.

    http://www.wooohah.com
    Where celebrity goes hip-hop

  37. tatianalensky

    I always thought MTV prided itself on being hip and on top of things and shit like that. So why would the execs even consider using this sad creature to open the VMA’s?

  38. veggo

    mornin jimbo!

    oh, and I soooooooo didn’t know that racially diverse had become a cuss word. But I’m excited now, cause I just called my boss one, and he was all like “whatever whitey!”. And I was, like, “fuck you you racially diverse fucktard!” It was awesome!

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    NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN…

  40. LL

    You know, if Britney’s performance was a slide show of all her past romantic failures with audio of the increasingly hostile phone conversations between her and K-Fed, her and her mom, her and her ex-manager, I’d actually watch that.

    But who the hell wants to watch Britney attempt to sing and dance now? She could never sing or dance, but at least you could watch her gyrate and that’d be good for some entertainment. Now, it’s just like watching the sad stripper that works the lunch shift.

  41. NoPanties

    Britney is going to wear a white t-shirt that says trailer trash for her MTV cumback and that is all. There is rumor she will trim her pretty little kitty since she’ll be on TV but we will have to wait and see. If this cumback goes as Britney plans and she becomes a big star again she will be throwing her two children into the crowd never expecting to get them back. If her cumback fails the kids will be taken home and bathed in the toilet.

  42. LL

    Superdevil: awesome. But is it supposed to look like Obama?

  43. Shallow Val

    Yeah,

    Cum on her back

  44. Enough already seriously
    #30 – AWESOME ASCII arts dude

    http://testosterone-zone.com

  45. Jimbo

    @30.. please do help. just tug a little.. and you’ll get ur treat. just rub it into ur skin and hair after. your welcum.

  46. kati

    “she’s going to pull a rabbit out of a hat and gyrate until it dies.”
    hahahahah
    wow

  47. LL I just don’t know any more

  48. Micky Mc

    Is that a reference to the rabbit vibrators? ahhhhhhh

  49. britt

    CANT WAIT FOR BRITNEYS COME BACK!!!!!

  50. chimpy

    This hillbillies only career is only as a tabloid freak. Period.

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