Britney Spears’ paparazzi anxiety to be addressed in court

December 17th, 2007 // 65 Comments

Britney Spears failed to show up for her court deposition last week claiming to be ill. Her friend Sam Lufti told the press she was suffering from severe anxiety that day from all the paparazzi attention. Kevin Federline’s lawyer is already seeking to prevent Britney from increasing her visitation rights and has now scheduled a court hearing to determine the validity of Britney’s anxiety claims, according to Us Weekly:

“If the paparazzi are something that are causing anxiety, that is something I would assume that she deals with most of her life.
“So I am not sure why the paparazzi anxiety level happened to coincide with the fact that the court ordered her to appear to be cross examined.”

Britney was seen out at two a.m. the day she skipped her court hearing and seemed to be having no problem with the paparazzi which set the ball in motion for this latest hearing. Kevin’s lawyers need to understand Britney’s lists of priorities that she will overcome anxiety for:

1. Starbucks.
2. Gas station burritos.
3. Gas for her car.
4. Cigarettes – from a gas station.
5. Cigarette lighter – preferably with Chevron or Exxon logo.

Where do her kids rank? Ha! That’s cute you think they’re on here. But, seriously, not a chance. Unless they start shooting Super Unleaded out of their ears which I hear Britney’s getting estimates for, so I take that as a step in the right direction.

superficial

  1. crazy peace

    haha oh god

  2. I don’t see what the confussion in

  3. the Ranch Tooth

    Second…
    Or third…
    Or fourth…
    Or Fuck it…

  4. I don’t see what the confussion is

  5. I don’t see what the confussion is

  6. veggi

    I get anxiety when I leave the house without my pants too..

  7. As you can plainly see I am still a retard

  8. The White Urkele

    I wonder if I gave her some starbucks and a lighter she would let me corn-hole her?

  9. mark

    Very funny. I have seen this photo on millionairefriends.com. It’s a dating site for celebrities and wealthy people.

  10. KIOO

    HER LEGS LOOKS FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I am expecting her new music video. She looks so hot in that pictures. BTW, have u guys seen her on a millionaire site MeetRich.com? I heard of this around some famous gossip sites.

  11. Mister Smear

    Why’s that pap looking at her pootinanny?

  12. Rachel

    Those boots are tragic.

  13. Shallow Val

    She ain’t dead yet?

  14. Auntie Kryst

    I want to feel bad for The Fucktard’s attorney. He’s actually got to say shit like she has anxiety over the paparazzi with a straight face. Poor fucker…wait what am saying? You lucky rich fucker! Keep the crazy train chugging, you must be on retainer.

  15. Shut up troll. I know I’m a retard, but what am I?

  16. whackjob

    I wonder if the pornstar who portrays Brit (with trademark pink wig, bruised thighs, bug-eye shades, and wide-open mouth) also has ass-acne….

  17. Anexio

    Brit is on the front pages now because she always do great things for everyone all the times. if I was you I would watch what you say about brit because pople like me are always root for her. brit does not defened herself because she do not have the time beacause she is so busy with her carrear. brit carrear is most importent to her beacause she does it for us that are the true fans.

    Brit I hope youre weekend was good and that you took some time for yourself beacause you give to much and you never think about youselve. I hope you get some time this week to get ready for the crismas beacause you have the boys and kFed does not thank god. he should nvever have them at all ever. and you should nevar give them back and thats my idea and you should pick up your balls and run with them.

  18. Shallo Val

    The pap is stepping in her vag leakage. splish slash!

  19. D Richards (competitor)

    19th!!!!!

  20. adeliza

    I’d like to shove those fucking boots up her ass. She is so disgusting.

  21. Texas Tranny

    I know some tranny hookers that don’t dress this bad.

  22. She must fucking hate those kids.

  23. PunkA

    What do we expect from a drug bitch? She is too strung out to think. Sleeps all day. drinks and shoots up all night. Not all that complicated, really. Just set the hearing for 4 pm, just after she rolls out of bed. She will make it and look decent.

  24. Ooba Gooba

    Hey Mark, #9: Why don’t you fuck straight off, asshole?

  25. Couzens

    I dont think people understand how badly the media are showing her, ie making up lies and exaggerating the truth.

    Yes. Her fashion sense (among other things) is terrible but if you had any brains, its clear its because shes playing the papparazi. I mean its even more obvious after the new song shes just brought out called “piece of me”

  26. EuroNeckPain

    Is that drink for real ? In this position, it should reach the lid ? A frappuccino is not that think, is it ?

  27. Tapeworm

    Those are some flabby thighs. Just think of all the starving children in Africa that cow could feed with her shanks.

    Of course she could also take some of that $300M net worth and use it for good as well, instead of dumping it on wigs, cigarettes and lesbian hookers.

  28. Shallow Val

    18 nice one troll, but I don’t talk like that. Good to see ya tho.

  29. Liza

    WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO BRIT? I was never a big fan, but I preferred her over Aguilera and other female acts during her peak. Now, someone just needs to lock her up and hide the key! Or she could move to a 3rd world country where no one knows her. That way, she can still be a complete mess but not on the public view. Doesn’t it bother her that every stupid thing she does is announce and put up for public news?

  30. Liza

    WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO BRIT? I was never a big fan, but I preferred her over Aguilera and other female acts during her peak. Now, someone just needs to lock her up and hide the key! Or she could move to a 3rd world country where no one knows her. That way, she can still be a complete mess but not on the public view. Doesn’t it bother her that every stupid thing she does is announce and put up for public news?

  31. shaggy

    she looks like she’s enjoying the paparazzi. i mean the guy has his camera pointed right at her cooter to see if anything pops out or if he can get a flash of roast beef and she’s just standing there eating it all up with a big smile. i hate her. stupid white people.

  32. LannaBanana

    enough Britney, where’s the snark about how Jessica Simpson threw Tony Romo’s game yesterday?! best thing ever.

  33. Auntie Kryst

    @25 Aha! Thank you for that post. I had no idea that The Fucktard was actually a PR genius. I really like the fact that she is putting her children on the line to add to the crazy and selfish persona. Perhaps Anexio is right, “her is so busy with her carrear. brit carrear is most importent to her”.

  34. i actually own that wig too. random huh? only i wore for halloween…. 8 years ago- i have pics. i did not wear it in december. at the gas station. 8 years later. what a moron.

    actually i’d quite like to spend the day with britney. i think it would be somewhat entertaining. “hey y’all! let’s go eat some fries and buy a shark y’all! oh shit y’all, sharks need water yo. oh shit y’all. let’s all take pictures at the gas station y’all. oh shit, i left sean preston with the shark y’all. where’s the starbucks yo?”

    can we get a petition going to get someone to toss those boots?

    i could care less about britney’s life/kids/whatever… but i’m sick of seeing those stupid boots.

    dang girl, if you’re going to wear something with everything, make it cons or something. stupid face.

  35. Matthew

    hey all hi yall i will not to go to court because I am afraid yall hey cleatus tell the kinfolk we have a moonshine party tommorrow…Police officer::trainwreck

  36. lux

    Britney, regarding your new song:

    I’m Miss American Dream since I was seventeen:

    maybe you were once, but you sure as hell are not the american dream anymore. You are a f***king nightmare.

    Don’t matter if I step on the scene or sneak away to the Philippeans, their still gonna take pictures of my derriere in the magazines:

    Sure, the photogs are after you, but you are the one out on the prowl for attention with your need to constant gas station and Starbucks runs. Anyone else would have an assistant take care of those things, but you NEED to be seen. And if you don’t wear panties and can’t exit a vehicle like a lady then expect to have your junk all over the magazines, dumb a**!

    Guess I can’t see the harm in working and being a momma:

    No one has a problem with that, but you aren’t being a mom to your kids, which really should be your number one priority, you stupid b**ch. As far as working, when was the last time you toured…and you don’t even dance in your videos anymore. Maybe you are working a little, but you appear to be doing more aimless driving and gas station pit stops then working lately.

    I’m Mrs. she’s to big, now she’s too thin:

    I don’t think anytime inyour whole career you’ve been accused of being too thin. People only started commenting on your weight when you became a fat a**, and were photographed drinking fraps all the time. You are in the business of looking good, so deal with it.

    And with a kid on my arm, I’m still an exceptional earner:

    First of all you have 2 kids, did you forget that? And lately those babies haven’t been in your arms because you could give 2 sh*its about them. As far as being an exceptional earner, you not on the Forbes list anymore sweetie. You have your kids and your ex to support, your album tanked, don’t forget your million dallar Starbucks habit, hotel tabs, and legal fees. You might want to invest in an accountant, because God knows you can’t do math,and your burning through money like a Malibu fire!

  37. cookie monsta

    “Pick up her balls and run with them” oh Anexio rofl rofl rofl (you really are Britney!!!)

    I think Britney could not give a fat rats arse about A) HER KIDS, and B) HER CARREAR.

  38. D. Richards (Biologist.)

    Britney’s so full-of shit. Why don’t the lawyers start calling her on her drug abuse? Spears’s is so anxious about all the bad publicity she’s getting. Agh.. No, bitch, you’ve been on a cocaine fueled bender for two-three days and you’re so goddamn paranoid that you think the CIA’s bugged your faucets. But Britney’s anxious.

    Get real.. Britney goes out in to the world dressed in full clown make-up; stop drawing a crowd, cunt.

  39. lux

    @36…It’s Philippines, you fucking ingrate. Poke fun at the dumb blonde when in reality, you’re the uneducated bastard. I’m not sticking up for Britney but to make fun of her when you’re just as big of an idiot is shameful…

  40. minniememe

    even the photog’s ensemble is color coordinated. his sneaks match his shirt.

  41. what the hell is Brits problem?
    I like her music, but she’s like the stupidest whore. She just wants the attention. I really don’t like her now, remember when she used to be the shit?
    well now she just smells like it.
    Look at the way she dresses and presents herself, what an idiot. If she actually cared about her kids she’d change for the better and stop being such a drunken stoner. If i were her kids i’d adopt new parents, I’d be ashamed to have a mother like her.

  42. HELP

    Britney couldn’t care less about her kids — I think (and I’ve said this before) that she would love to lose custody completely…more time to smoke, drink, eat, and play around with random men. She does not want to be a mother.

    Oh, and picture this. I’m trying to be inconspicuous. I want the pap to leave me alone. So I….leave the house in see-through skirt up to my vagina, tan cowboy boots, a black jacket, a pink wig, and huge sunglasses. Brilliant, Brit. You almost escaped everyone’s notice in that understated outfit.

    Bitch.

  43. coffeeabused

    I feel sorry for Starbuck’s. If I were them, I would make all franchises bar her from their shops or at least serve her coffee in unmarked cups. I mean seriously, there is no way in hell I would want her associated with my business if I wanted legit customers.

  44. lux

    @39
    I copied and pasted the lyrics from a lyric site you dumb bitch. Yeah and there were a few typos in there too, so what?

  45. lux

    Oh yeah, and not spell checking my post makes me an equal idiot to a white-trash, drug addicted whore, who has a GED because her mom was too busy pimping her, for her to finish high school. You’re right. Oh no, did I just type a run-on sentence?!! Now I’m worse than Britney!

  46. lux

    Oh yeah, and not spell checking my post makes me an equal idiot to a white-trash, drug addicted whore, who has a GED because her mom was too busy pimping her, for her to finish high school. You’re right. Oh no, did I just type a run-on sentence?!! Now I’m worse than Britney!

  47. e

    MEMORANDUM

    Attn: The Superficial

    Re.: “Court Depositions”

    There is no such thing as a “court deposition.” Depositions are not court hearings and do not occur in court. They usually take place in a hotel room or a conference room in a law firm. Judges are not present, just a court reporter, the attorneys on each side and the deponent.

  48. minniememe

    seriously, if you worked at those starbucks, would you dare quit? just to be able to see this trainwreck each day would be worth it.

  49. BaconMessiah

    Why have children if you want nothing to do with them? poor little bastards

  50. sue

    I totally believe that she had a terrible anxiety attack when it occurred to her that “OH NO, I COULD ACTUALLY END UP WITH THOSE KIDS!!!!”.

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