Britney Spears’ ass kissed to a lustrous shine at VMAs

September 7th, 2008 // 114 Comments

Hey, remember when Britney Spears’ manager Larry Rudolph said she’d be doing something “fun and unexpected” to open the MTV Video Music Awards? That dude lied! After a prerecorded skit with Superbad star Jonah Hill, Britney took the stage at last night’s VMAs, said four sentences and called it a day. No joke. Here’s what came out of her mouth:

“Thank you so much. Thank you for all the love. I’m here tonight to celebrate a very important birthday, the 25th anniversary of the VMAs. This is the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards and it starts right now.”

Seriously, I’ve eaten Pop Tarts that’ve made me feel more alive. On top of her anti-climactic opening, MTV also took it upon themselves to see that Britney Spears won three awards including Video of the Year which I get it: They don’t want her to go home and kill herself. Then again, that’s a whole lot of ass kissing for someone who basically firebombed last year’s show in an explosive jiggle of flab and sequins. Nice message to send to the kids, MTV. I can’t wait to see Miley Cyrus walk out of KFC with a bucket of chicken and Adnan Ghalib. Actually, I do want to see that just to hear the entire south have a collective aneurysm.

EDIT: Added photos from the VMAs press room.

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  1. gayboi

    2004, she sang touch of my hand, everytime, and someday live from start to finish. Other songs she sang over the entire song at parts, or didn’t sing at all… Lots of people who move around on stage lip sync

  2. ihavemorebraincellsthanyoudo

    Her wad of bubble gum says class with a capital “k”

  3. kev

    She’s ugly and has zero talent like all tween stars.

  4. wow

    103- her face is so pretty right there. you are crazy, she looks like a girl in a beauty pageant, and she has a diamond record.

  5. what?

    what? are we talking about the same pictures here? everyone just has to be so rude and focus on the negatives, no sympathy at all. she’s been through so much and i applaud her for all her hard work and her strength. she’s a beautiful girl and deserved those awards. looks like she’s recovering nicely.

  6. bob

    While her song/video certainly deserve the merits it received that night, I don’t think anyone can argue the wins weren’t about the single itself, but about Britney Spears. And really, who can deny what she has done in the past for MTV? Or has all her past (until now unrecognised) achievements been erased by her personal troubles?

    Stop bitching and let the woman be. In the aspects of what lies ahead of her, she’s doing well and she deserves some sort of encouragement. Very much a victim of an exploited childhood and a victim of her own ignorance (that has much to do with how she was brought up in the market), Britney Spears is doing very well for herself nowadays. Give her that.

  7. Perez Hilton

    Britney looks fantastic.. everyone who doesnt think so needs to pull their heads out of their asses and realize that they personally will never ever look that good.

  8. Perez Hilton

    Britney looks fantastic.. everyone who doesnt think so needs to pull their heads out of their asses and realize that they personally will never ever look that good.

  9. Muffy

    “MTV” is a joke, now!! Britney Spears will always be a talentless hack!

  10. Anda

    i’ve always been a fan of britney since i was like 7 lol ….so i admire her force to turn around her life…go britney u look so much better than a few years agoQ!!u rock

  11. emmaleigh

    TEAM BRITNEY!

  12. Calle

    What a fucking joke? Britney took home 3 awards with the same shitty as song and with that shitty video to it. Can’t believe Chris didn’t win over a fat down-ranked Britney.

    What a joke… what a joke.

  13. Congratulation Britney job well done.

  14. frank

    I would kiss every inch of her ass and lick her asshole.

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