Britney Spears opening the VMAs

September 4th, 2008 // 48 Comments

Thanks to my incredible ability to repress memories by way of binge drinking, I had almost completely forgotten about Britney Spears’ performance/belly-dance at last year’s MTV Video Music Awards. But, once again, Britney will be the opening act at this year’s VMAs. Before you pound your chest screaming “Why, God, WHY?!” MTV is making it clear she’s not performing, according to the AP:

Instead, MTV Networks Music Group President Van Toffler said Wednesday, it’ll be something “fun and unexpected” on Sunday night’s show.
So what made Spears and MTV reunite one more time?
“MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs? I’m excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated,” Spears said in a statement.

The only thing Britney Spears could do that’s “fun and unexpected” is not show up and be replaced by strippers on unicycles. Then again, that’s my solution for everything – because it works.


  1. havoc

    Oh good. I see a “Its Britney bitch” in our future….


  2. cheerbleeder

    i wont watch, as per usual….ill watch this bitch go down in flames on you tube minutes later. i am so tired of this trainwreck.

  3. tp

    Hahahahahahahahaaaaa, I love that retarded looking chick in the green dress in pic #3!!!!!

  4. Barak Obama

    Damn, she is looking very busty lately!

    Ha! I loved the way Sarah Palin made me look like a total ass last night. No wonder the Dems are scared of her.

  5. Barak Obama

    Dang tp, I forgot to mention the short bus riding chick in pic 3! Ha ha ha. Either that or she got a whif of Brit’s feet!

  6. Clem

    How can MTV have a Video Music Awards when they don’t play music or videos on the channel anymore?

  7. it's me Fuckers!

    I love the dress she is wearing, it looks great on her. Too bad the pictures weren’t doing her face any justice.

  8. grobpilot

    That guy with his hand behind her is getting ready to operate her ventriloquist dummy buttons and levers

  9. missG

    Can Daddy Spears PLEASE buy her a new watch (since he IS watching over the money and everything)? That plastic thing looks like it came from a cereal box.

    And yeah, MTV sucks ass big time and has for the last 10 years at least….

  10. Naddy

    I love her! GO BRIT! I cant wait to see the MVA’s I hope she murderssss it I want her to perform

  11. big teeth

    MTV VMA’s??? Britney Spears’ music?? Did I just time warp back to 1998?

  12. Ortal

    She looks good now days!!! I wish her luck..

  13. michele20

    Thank you Ortal. Someone who doesn’t have to always say bad things about people on here! I totally agree by the way

  14. Nike

    It looks like the VMS free gift basket included matching watches for all the women.

  15. jo smo

    Them there is 3 scary lookin’ broads in pic 2.

  16. Chenush

    Who is that beautiful girl on the right?

  17. mimi

    Britney is doing GREAT and FISH-POOP is jealous!

  18. rough daddy

    why not throw a dog a bone? shes made them millions in the past!

  19. sla

    The dress is cute and at least she looks like she is trying to be normal. Now if she could just lose the ratty red streaks in her hair, comb the rest of it, put on a little lipstick and replace the evil grimace with a smile (or at least some sort of non-negative expression), she would be looking good.

  20. She still looks hoggish… and I fear she always will.

  21. anjhest

    Good God, can Britney not afford another pair of those shoes?! She was wearing that same pair the day she sat on the curb and boo hooed in front of the paparazzi.

  22. lilo

    BITCH IS BACK!!!!!!!

    IT’S BRITNEY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT READY HATERS!

  23. missywissy

    She looks very uncomfortable trying to dress “normal”.

    What has happened to MTV? They’re just as bad as the rest of these cable stations, that everything they do is for ratings. I quit watching, the last time I watched was the last Britney VMA episode, and stopped giving my viewership to a station that was going to embarass people on purpose for “shock factor”. I think right now, the most shocking thing Britney could do would be to tap into her mommyhood and it not be an act.

    and, not to change the subject, but is it me or did Palin kind of kick some ass last night? I didn’t think I was going to like her, but I wouldn’t mind her being the VP. I have a feeling McCain chose her so we could start drilling in Alaska and put some bases to attack Russia.

  24. jojo

    These pictures are old,

    the superficial, GET A LIFE!

  25. missywissy

    p s

    Why does Britney’s hair always look so greasy at the top? Can’t the extensions be washed?

  26. kat

    this is what years of tanning booths, smoking and insanity look like.

    why is she sooo gross? she looks like she lives in hicktown. seriously if shes famous I can be famous…

  27. LL

    Maybe I’ve been desensitized over the last couple years, but I actually think she looks OK here. For her. She kinda looks like a stripper going to court to get back custody of her kids. Which makes perfect sense.

    Britney really should have been a stripper (like for reals, in a club and whatnot). Enormous fame and wealth are clearly too much for her.

  28. i love her, she looks beautiful.

  29. Technoangel

    Apparently, she’ll be riding an elephant into the show. If you saw the commercial, she’s sitting in her dressing room with an elephant. She won’t be singing or dancing… just riding an elephant…..

  30. LEB

    Well, hey, at least she’s starting to look hot again. Took her long enough to realize that pop stars cannot live on cigs and cappuccinos alone.

  31. pistolita

    that girl needs to invest in a full-time on-hand make-up artist!!

  32. Sarah Palin's Boy Toy

    It looks like Brit needs to shave or wax the mustache.

  33. Vince Lombardi

    Is it just me, or do her breasts look bigger? I know when I lose 20 pounds, my man-boobs are the first thing that disappear.

  34. JebusRocks

    Oh I am so glad Sarah Palin is going to do the LORD’S work. With our Abrahamic war hero John McCain by her side, the heathens will finally fall and America will finally be purged by holy fire of all the pagans, fags and Democrats.

    Being a dispensational Dominionist myself, I cannot wait to take to the streets like one of JOEL’S ARMY and kill off the unbelievers for Jesus. The abortion holocaust will be avenged by the courages soldiers of Christ and Sarah Palin will be our rallying cry! No more movies like Juno–such fornication will be dealt with by STONING!

    (just a quick parody to you morons “wowed” by Sarah’s heavily coached speech. You may just want to look into her religious background, stat. Oh forget it, go back to munching cheetos and believing that she’s someone you’d like to have a beer with. idiots.)

  35. God, I saw those same exact shoes at Target. Glad I didn’t buy them..

  36. Randal

    Over and over again I’ve been saying it and I’ll say it again. Britney continues to rise like a slow apple pie baking in the oven. Not only will the scent of her curl your interest but as will her appearance on MTV … again!

    It’s never fun falling from the top but once you have a taste, you only work harder to return and that’s exactly what Britney has been doing. I’m very proud of you.


  37. Her and Jessica Simpson together on stage would be all the entertainment this fun starved nation needs!

  38. Naddy

    some of you people HAVE to stop hating! Honestly she went through a mental break down the girl is in her own right to not give a sh!t about how her face looks. The entertainment business isnt easy and it takes a lot out of a person. Poor brit brit I hope Justin leaves Jessica whatever her name is and gets back with Britney…they are meant to be with eachother.

  39. Looks like Adnan Ghalib has been up in the clippers. Seriously!

  40. Brit’s heavily sedated in these pics.

  41. fg

    fanboi #38,

    This is a site where people mock, laugh and otherwise poke fun at celebrities and celebrety wanna-bes.

    For good advice, accolades and other suck-up comments go to a site devoted to fanbois and suck-ups.


  42. T Marie

    I just hope it’s better than last year and I wish her lots of luck, i would love to see her make a serious comeback this time.

  43. Kate

    At least she’s not wearing boots

  44. caliwine

    Wow she actually looks skinny, Or is the purse hiding a love handle hummm?????

  45. oh goodness

    4- Barack, don’t sell yourself short. You had eight years of experience in the state senate before you were in the U.S senate and have degrees from two ivy league schools. Her smarmy little comment about community organizers not having and responsibilities was rubbish.

    Four eyes is just a smug bitch who doesn’t know anything about foreign policy, and doesn’t give a damn about this country. She is just power hungry and getting off on attention.

  46. I must say her body is looking very good.. nice brit!! i cant wait to see her tonight AT 9 BITCHS!!!!

  47. iron maiden

    I pretty sure the VMS bombed this year!!! Russell Brand was the worst host, and obnoxious with lame jokes….

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