Great news, everybody: Britney Spears will not be performing at this year’s VMAs. HURRAY! Her manager Larry Rudolph wants everyone to know Britney is very serious about her album and won’t be reprising her now infamous Jiggly Girl dance, according to the AP:
“Contrary to media reports, Britney was never slated to perform on this year’s VMAs,” Larry Rudolph, Spears’ manager at Jive Records, said in a statement. “She’s in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and her focus remains on the studio.”
Anyone get the feeling this “new and improved” Britney Spears has no fucking clue what’s going on around her? Yeah, she’s made some groundbreaking changes (See: wearing a bra.), but the look on Britney’s face tells me she has the wherewithal of a ham sandwich. I mean, you could probably light one of her kids on fire, and she wouldn’t even bat an eye. Then again, I basically just described anytime Britney makes PB&J. Bad example.
p911gt10c | August 27, 2008 at 9:48 am
just keep giving us the occasional pussy shot and we’ll keep paying attention to you. That’s a good girl.
Kim | August 27, 2008 at 9:48 am
She actually looks pretty good here. But she is still nuttier than a fruitcake!
Que | August 27, 2008 at 9:48 am
Que yeah for ears y eyes!
Khunt | August 27, 2008 at 9:50 am
I had a body much like her’s in my day although my ass was flat and my chest was much larger. This may sound unsavory but I would always wear slacks with a heavy emphasis on the “toe” shall we say.
One time I was picked up by a man while lunching and I must have not bathed the previous night because when I pulled my panties and slacks off the crust had gathered deep in my crotch and he saw it. Well that was not one of my more romantic interludes.
Some men do not appreciate natural women.
Oh and perhaps FIRST you dirty little savages!
havoc | August 27, 2008 at 9:51 am
Her descent into madness has been exquisite…….
Brian Wilson has nothing on this chick.
.
Mike | August 27, 2008 at 9:53 am
#4………MY KIND OF GIRL.
I appreciate natural and unnatural women. Let’s just say I love pussy all around.
So #4, you available anytime soon so I can douche that crust out and then lick it out drop by drop?
FRIST!!! | August 27, 2008 at 9:54 am
#4 would have been first if had not been the longwindedness.
Well, as “disappointed” I am at this “news” I can only pray they invite Heidi Montag to perform. Live. That would make my sandwich right there..
rough daddy | August 27, 2008 at 9:55 am
yea the partys over no more pussy shots now that shes looking decent these days!
rough daddy | August 27, 2008 at 9:58 am
those two boys are going to have some fun in school, imagine your class mate plastering pictures of your mothers pleasure palace all over the walls…
Mike | August 27, 2008 at 10:03 am
#7 FRIST……….missed you. Haven’t talked to you in a while.
Was looking at your pictures, and I just love the picture of you at work. SOOO SEXY!!!
UK_Matt | August 27, 2008 at 10:05 am
I don’t know if she’s off the mood drugs and pissed off with papps or on the mood drugs and so pissed off with the papps.
I agree with 1 btw.
sb | August 27, 2008 at 10:11 am
Thanks for giving me some hope, FRIST–I came in here intending to post that the Britney train-wreck potential was the only reason I would have watched in the first place but now, I will pray to the gods that Heidi is invited to perform. Because, one word: AWESOME.
Jackson'shole | August 27, 2008 at 10:11 am
Thank God she’s not performing, I’m so sick of this bitch.
Ted from LA | August 27, 2008 at 10:12 am
I wonder why that guy behind her has a palm tree growing out of his head.
FRIST!!! | August 27, 2008 at 10:13 am
#10 Mike….I hate sarcasm this early in the morning
Wait, no I don’t..
Khunt | August 27, 2008 at 10:16 am
Ms. Frist, after examining your ensemble of dysfuncional photos I must say the phrase “longwinded” may mean something different to you and I. For myself it would perhaps imply a general wordiness or inability to express a topic concisely. Is that what you mean dear?
For you and your life that you narcissistically reveal in the pictures of your tired and troubled life as a lower middle class peon I would imagine longwindedness would be a reaction to the food eaten by troubled troglydites such as yourself.
Poor thing.
OH, and do something about the terrible hair dye and gaudy childish lipstick.
At your age is is time to grow up dear!! We are not teenagers anymore. Or perhaps did chemicals arrest our states or awareness? Open new doors while closing others perhaps?
Poor dear.
Mike | August 27, 2008 at 10:21 am
#15, FRIST, no sarcasm here on my part. I seriously think you are hot. I am soooo in love with you.
Richard McBeef | August 27, 2008 at 10:27 am
I wish I could claim that I came up with this, but I didn’t:
Catfish Eyes.
LET'S START THE INTERNET HAPPY FEST | August 27, 2008 at 10:29 am
wow, you guys really are able to conclude all that from those pictures? love the internet!
michele20 | August 27, 2008 at 10:30 am
#4 is gross!
But I’ll ask everyone. Which would you rather preform at the VMA’s, Brittney Spears or Heidi Hoe Montag’s. Personally Brittney has way more talent. I’d much rather her get up there then Heidi!
boondocks | August 27, 2008 at 10:31 am
She’s starting to look hitable again
FRIST!!! | August 27, 2008 at 10:37 am
Thank #16, you just proved my point…yada yada, blah blah blah, I don’t even read past the first 5 words, but I’m sure you went on and on about trees and flowers and such..
Mike | August 27, 2008 at 10:42 am
#22 FRIST, don’t worry about #16.
You are still my cutie pie. Still in love with you no matter what.
joey joejoe | August 27, 2008 at 10:45 am
wow, she’s looking a bit middle aged. that’s what kids and coffee will do to you.
duh | August 27, 2008 at 10:52 am
Isn’t the internet great? It allows us to insult perfect strangers without any repercussions.
Poor Ms. Frist (Khunt) | August 27, 2008 at 11:00 am
A pity to be in the thrall of early middle age and be so bitter.
Khunt | August 27, 2008 at 11:05 am
Mr. Mike, it seems symptomatic ot the internet to be filled with so many lonely types such as yourself. How can you be in love with someone when all that you know them by is comments they make about nonsense? Don’t they have women in real life where you live?
Send me a pic by the way and perhaps you and I could get together. I would imagine that I would be far more energetic and entertaining than someone advertising their “medicatedness”.
FRIST!!! | August 27, 2008 at 11:07 am
#26 I don’t need your pity, FYI been bitter my whole life thanks..
Why are you obsessing?
Clem | August 27, 2008 at 11:07 am
She’s just one big neck with a Marilyn Manson head on top.
Mike | August 27, 2008 at 11:10 am
#27, why don’t you give me an e-mail to send the picture. Perhaps you and I can work on that crust in your vagina, I may able to moisten it with some type of “CREAM”.
Thirty-first! | August 27, 2008 at 11:18 am
Thirty-first!
meh | August 27, 2008 at 11:43 am
29 – thats random and incorrect.
Khunt | August 27, 2008 at 11:44 am
Poor Frist! Bitter her whole life! I hope she can afford the supply of tissues (although I would imagine someone in her station sobs and blows her nose on her longs sleeves – the full shirts with skulls on the front).
I can see why you are so bitter dear, but try to make the best of it sweety as looks are not everything.
Looks are merely the single most defining aspect of a person’s humanity.
Keep your chins up and try to fake a smile at least for the sake ot others.
OH and please do something about that loud horrid noise on your personal glory page dear, it is as annoying as it is juvenile.
Khunt | August 27, 2008 at 11:48 am
Michael sweetheart, I would otherwise entertain your lovely notion but would hate to spoil Frist’s one and only chance at true love given to her for the scant amount of time before she becomes a lonely 40 year old woman.
Call her up like a good doll and try to at least fuck some of the bitterness out of her!
(I wonder if a good douching would clean our some of her “bitterness?”)
Dan SATAN | August 27, 2008 at 11:52 am
It always seems like she can’t even comprehend information or communicate with the world around her, but if she ever got back to how she looked circa 2001, I’d probably sell my soul to Satan himself to fuck her in the ass.
literarycritic | August 27, 2008 at 12:02 pm
@#33: I think you have mistakenly equated Frist with someone who gives a shit what you think.
pistolita | August 27, 2008 at 12:16 pm
this is the best i’ve seen her look in a LONG time.
Khunt | August 27, 2008 at 12:39 pm
To literarycritic: are we so without our own life that we live the life of another?
The pathetic defend the pathological how sweet!
(I hope I didn’t send our girl off onto a self-reflecting manic/depressive (or do we call this bipolar now?) binge of substance abuse)
Don’t be bitter kids, though life is agonizingly short and essentially meaningless, do try to make the most of the worst! Ta ta!
moobs | August 27, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Most overrated “celebrity” ever.
The skin on her face looks like dogshit was smeared on it right before the base was applied.
moobs | August 27, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I also can’t wait to see what sort of songs this “comeback” is going to produce, since the well of “teenage sex pot for attention whoring and egotistical meanderings” angle has been pretty much drained dry.
Hannah Montana is the new “pop princess” in waiting and britney is a running joke with a bad punchline.
UK_Matt | August 27, 2008 at 1:20 pm
#20….Why make us select one? If MTV has taught us one thing it has taught that all celebrity hell is possible…duet !
But what could they do…Smack My Bitch Up maybe…
literarycritic | August 27, 2008 at 1:40 pm
@#38: Defending Frist? Hardly. More like mocking you. Why would you bother to spend a dozen multi-paragraph posts insulting someone over their MySpace page? Now that’s what I call “pathetic.”
Khunt | August 27, 2008 at 1:50 pm
literarycritc, I would love for you to attempt to “mock” sweetums! And yes dear, you were indeed defending your little (or big) friend. Not that there is anything wrong with it excpet why would you make it your business to be concerned over what a lady says to a a hmmm femalish devil worshipping person?
Perhaps we should pick up a few books or tools and find something else to do with our little minds, honey.
Bye for now darlings.
michelle | August 27, 2008 at 2:19 pm
she really looks rough.ALLLL that $, she could get her complexion taken care of. man she just isnt that beauitful pop star anymore:( how sad. she was so cute.
Anonymous | August 27, 2008 at 2:22 pm
She won’t be performing? The world breathes a collective sigh of relief.
Lozzamate | August 27, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Eugh. quick where’s the magazine cover airbrush when she needs it, oh but y’know, I guess the sychophantic love her/hate her tabloids will still give us another denial based “wow she’s back” garbage story.?
Vlad | August 27, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Diet and new body can’t help this skeeze. She’s just flat out ugly. I guess squeezing out some redneck puppies puts the smack down on your face too if you’re a Spears. She’s just plain ugly. Give me a picture of her from a few years ago and that’s definitely spankable.
Randal | August 27, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Looking great Britney! The style of your jeans, with the pockets on the front which would normally be on the back, look so good hugging your hips. The white top is a nice compliment to show off your goods, yet still do it in a conservative fashion.
Randal
erika | August 27, 2008 at 5:52 pm
give her a fucking break already, she’s obviously getting her shit together and your stupid jokes are no longer relevant. move on.
isitin | August 27, 2008 at 6:52 pm
#4, damn you. You made me throw up in my mouth………………….