Britney Spears’ two new songs are really good

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Two new Britney Spears songs have popped up online and they’re every bit as bad as you’d expect. According to The Sun, she opens her new song Cold As Fire with the lyrics:

“I’m just the girl with the ability to drive a man crazy/ Make him come in my mouth/ Make him my new baby”

Other sources are saying the lyrics are:

“I’m just the girl with the ability to drive a man crazy/ Make him call me mama/ Make him my new baby”

You can listen for yourself here, but either way it’s bad. Like really really bad. Like so bad I thought it was a fake. I think they squeezed Britney until they got her voice as high up as it is, and then pulled some random people off the subway and made them backup singers. And Britney’s next single Gimme More (listen here) opens with the lyrics:

“It’s Britney, bitch”

Ooh, sassy. I don’t know about you, but this Britney character sounds like she’s got a lot of attitude. Man, I bet she also smokes and wears sunglasses indoors. She’s so cool.

NOTE: Just to be complete, here’s her third leaked song. Although it’s the same one I posted a couple weeks ago and still just as bad.