Britney Spears’ two new songs are really good

August 31st, 2007 // 243 Comments
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Two new Britney Spears songs have popped up online and they’re every bit as bad as you’d expect. According to The Sun, she opens her new song Cold As Fire with the lyrics:

“I’m just the girl with the ability to drive a man crazy/ Make him come in my mouth/ Make him my new baby”

Other sources are saying the lyrics are:

“I’m just the girl with the ability to drive a man crazy/ Make him call me mama/ Make him my new baby”

You can listen for yourself here, but either way it’s bad. Like really really bad. Like so bad I thought it was a fake. I think they squeezed Britney until they got her voice as high up as it is, and then pulled some random people off the subway and made them backup singers. And Britney’s next single Gimme More (listen here) opens with the lyrics:

“It’s Britney, bitch”

Ooh, sassy. I don’t know about you, but this Britney character sounds like she’s got a lot of attitude. Man, I bet she also smokes and wears sunglasses indoors. She’s so cool.

NOTE: Just to be complete, here’s her third leaked song. Although it’s the same one I posted a couple weeks ago and still just as bad.


  1. guapo

    blows

  2. shnoobie

    wow first! yeah yeah i dont have a life.
    i listened to the first song.
    and…
    i like it! good as fire baby!!!!

  3. Spanky

    I smell a grammy! no wait the dog just farted.

  4. Ummm

    she’s like squeezing her voice . it makes me shiver . kinda ew ?

  5. Tweets007

    She sounds like a billy goat being raped by a farm boy at the beginning.

  6. TheColombian

    God damn it sounds like she’s being backed by singers from munchkinland.

  7. Sounds like the latter to me. Unfortunate, though. I would’ve loved to hear Britney talk about oral ejaculation. Crazy wench.

  8. veggo

    WOW! That song makes me wanna do the no pants dance. Weird.

  9. Megathy

    Cold as Fire is so WHINY.

    Also, does she think repeating “Break it down” makes a song cool?

  10. flavio

    um, yeah it sucks, but she is definitely not saying “make him come in my mouth”, it doesn’t even sound close to that. that said – this is the worst circus music I’ve ever heard.

  11. Good gosd do they suck. Like an orec pro.

  12. Gimme more

    Gimme More ROCKS – I can see people dancing to that when they’re out – also the lyrics from ‘Cold as Fire’ are definitely ‘make him call me mamma.’
    I think Cold as fire is meant to be a fun track like Do Somethin.’ I really like Gimme more tho its hot!

  13. Chauncey Gardner

    If you put on headphones and close your eyes and listen to the songs and allow your mind to drift, you will find yourself in a place that no man or woman were ever meant to see. It is a place of eye-gouging, cheek-clawing madness, and if you are not strong, you may never return.

  14. Vince Lombardi

    I don’t think this is her, actually…. a copycat. She’s flat. And yeah, the backup singers are horrible. The sidewalk singers in Rocky were better.

  15. Tweets007

    Oh yeah, and if Britney is twice as nice as heaven – what does that say about hell?

  16. bottlesandcansjustclapyourhands

    “I take kids and feed them Kool-Aidy/ Drive around with them unrestrained/ Just like with my babies”

  17. Lindsay

    Gimme, gimme, more, gimmee, gimmee, gimme, more… Give ya what? Pants, cheetos, self-esteem???

  18. Laura Ann

    “Make him my new baby” As if she needs another kid to mistreat.

  19. zuzuspetals

    I really wish the “sing-with-a-baby-voice” trend in music would go away.
    Britney, Jessica Simpson, J. Lo, Gwen Stefani- please, please, please women- grow up.

  20. pointandlaugh

    hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

    I can’t wait for her CD to come out, to be roundly PANNED and ignored by the public. :)

  21. She keeps hearing that Cher song, over and over in her head. “If I coullddd tuurrrn back time”

  22. Lindsay

    In the picture, is she riding in or driving a special needs bus? The dude behind her looks like a ‘tard.

  23. CD

    I’ll be honest..

    fellas, it was sounding great.

    But..

    I could’ve used a little more cowbell.

  24. gimmeimmi

    I thought that Baby Boy sounded familiar. Listen to the song Legend on Nelly Furtado’s “Whoa Nelly” album, and you’ll hear the hook is similar. There is no way any music exec is going to let that album hit store shelves. It sounds like she made those songs up with an old synthesizer with a corded microphone attached.

  25. JennMSU

    yea i’m over her. she’d better invest whatever $ she has left wisely!!!

  26. swan

    #4… LOL ! Good One.

    I can’t really believe how BAD these songs are. Her style is so OUT and she sounds AWFUL…so off key. AND the lyrics are so HURTIN’. Break it down? Isn’t that from 1991? And she repeats it !! And it is so SICK the way she is singing about being so cool and hot stuff! WHY? SHe is hanging on by a thread to her past and it hurts.
    Yah, this is probably the worst “singing” I have ever heard.

  27. @25 With a fisher price plug and play….

  28. i like errrrr…….

    click my name go on click it… it’s friday afternoon and your trying to kill the last few hours at work so go on click it.

    TOTALLY WORTH A CLICK!

  29. veggo

    29- go fuck yourself.

  30. Rusty

    The fundamental problem with these songs is they’re too much like her 90′s style. There’s absolutely no sense of her having grown or developed or anything. And if her audience back then was still around, she might be able to sell a few of these. But they’ve grown and moved on themselves. She has no audience … and this drivel ain’t gonna create any new fans.

  31. Lindsay

    ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….death to Britney Spears… I WISH a spear would go throught her throat so she would literally be incapable of singing….not that she isn’t already. boy…..no one want to come to that mama!!

  32. kathy

    my ears are bleeding. and not in a good way.

    #18…hilarious!

  33. Uber Bean

    Cold as fire, hmmm… what is that supposed to mean?

  34. @29…Took a click, Cameron Diaz has some nice get away sticks….Heard about most everything else. Don’t who the topless chick is with the fakies, but weren’t bad. I’d chew on ‘em for a bit.

  35. kathy

    oh – and the douche bag at the end of the second song….”The Legendary Britney Spears”. LEGENDARY??? you have to fucking be kidding me. she’s legendary alright….for being a talentless, ass picking, white trash whore. she should be proud.

  36. Sidney

    HORRIBLE!

    OMG! SHE SOUNDS LIKE A LITTLE GIRL LEARNING HOW TO SING. I COULD NOT EVEN FINISH LISTENING TO IT.

  37. yeah, a legend in her own mind. If she has one. I highly doubt.

  38. James

    It’s “I’m just the girl with the ability to drive a man crazy/ Make him call me mama/ Make him my new baby” dumb asses. These songs are awesome, stop being such a bunch of mean fuckers.

  39. sane-o

    y’know, i don’t like her, but this is so bad it couldn’t be her. And if it is her, sad. Just sad. These songs are terrible.

  40. Whatthehell

    #23

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    #24 AHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  41. bob

    what in holy fucking hell was that??!

  42. BunnyButt

    Nice that Alvin and the Chipmunks are making a comeback.

  43. bb

    At this point even Madonna has got to be embarrassed that she stuck her tongue in that.

  44. veggo

    She should have done Kenny G cover songs. You know, the kind with no words.

  45. Shallow Val

    This is just the rancid cherry on the awful cake that is her life. Her goal of Uber Trash will not be complete unless it has an awful album on top of it all. Now she’s going to play that “Ah don givvafuck; tha’s me, I’m keeping reeeeel!”

  46. ssdd

    This fatneck bitch has no career anymore…..i dont know why she bothers.

  47. Crap Tonight

    Well at least someone is making music for that hard to reach niche market of crazy cat ladies

  48. your mom

    both are still better than “stars are blind”, but that might not be saying much

  49. Faye

    Wow I really like them. And I’m not a Britney fan.

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