Britney Spears’ new single for your listening ‘pleasure’

September 26th, 2008 // 114 Comments

Britney Spears’ new single “Womanizer” debuted today on Z100. I’ve got the audio for you after the jump and, surprise, it sounds like all her other stuff: processed shit. Now, I’m willing to concede Britney’s making steps forward in the looks department, but let’s get real, her voice just isn’t cut out for the music industry. In fact, I’m pretty sure monotone isn’t a key. Sure, I’m no musician, but one time I played Guitar Hero naked, so it’s safe to say I know a thing or two. If you’re finding yourself unable to argue with that statement, it’s because I slapped you silly with my infallible logic. It happens.

NOTE: The little box below leads you to the “music” and that is by the far the loosest use of the word I’ve ever employed.

superficial

  1. charlie

    i like it

  2. yahoo

    first

  3. second

    second!

  4. mamadough

    i would love to be the voice inside her head. oh the fun we would have.

  5. KY gentleman

    i wonder if she swallows

  6. titsonsnack

    Why are things “after the jump”.
    I am not jumping anything.

  7. Jen-e-fromtheblock

    I need to smoke a million cigarettes and get a box put in my throat and maybe ill get a record deal!

  8. mamadough

    charlie, you’re a fucking liar. i could only stand about 33 seconds of this shit. i don’t understand why she keeps doing this to us. give up already.

  9. Chereice

    i actually love the song. i think it is some of her best work since toxic. i think its going to be big hit for her. good for her. i think everyone else needs to put their personal feelings about her aside and listen to the actual music that is putting out there. it is a good song and if it came from someone like rhianna we would all be head of heels for it. give the girl a break, its a great song.

  10. Jumpin_J

    Not that I like jumping, but I do like train wrecks. Where’s the link from the “jump”?

  11. There were a lot of babies made on “toxic” but this latest single is purely garbage!

  12. Lulu

    Craptastic.

  13. mimi

    KEEP ON ROCKIN’ BRITNEY!

    FISH SUCKS!

  14. zegabe

    i dunno which one the two gonna be more offended by the following sentence,

    but frankly this “music” (sounds? noises?) reminds me of heidi montag’s “efforts” in the music industry

    i mean seriously, a 13 year old can do better.. sounds like a midi file with someone playing with a sound editor on their voice as the singer

    ridiculous.
    burp.

  15. Oods

    The song is totally annoying. I don’t know how anyone can possibly think this crap is any good. It’s the same lyrics over and over.

  16. jenny

    This is godawful, even by Britney’s usual standards… and that’s really saying something. Jesus.

  17. brunette

    i really like it!!! i hate how people are like “she cant sing…” well, guess what, neither can people like rihanna! if its a good song that you enjoy….who cares!!!!

    GO BRIT!!!

  18. getacluefags

    The question isn’t whether or not the song is good. Yes, you can shake your head to it. All whoever claims that this song sucks are either lying or are so musically inept that the most simple, rudimentary musical features don’t have any effect on you.

    The song is designed (note that it is designed) so that you’ll shake your head to it. The beat, the snaps, the driving bassline, they’re infectious because they’re written by people who are actually good at creating music and know what gets us simpleton Americans moving.

    Songs are bought and paid for these days, and I think that’s what our problem is with Britney, the fact that she has little or nothing to do with the actual production of the song, yet her name is slapped across the front and her ugly mug is plastered on the CD cover. She has little to no talent whatsoever. She’s just a product being sold to you. The music is soulless, no heart went into making.

    Yes, the song is catchy, don’t lie to us and yourself by saying you didn’t bob your head to it.

    But it’s a plastic wrapped commodity and that therein lies my problem with it.

  19. britney spears.

    uhm… hey guys,
    its britney.

    Thanks for dogging on my single.

    I mean, I have a hefty appetite to take care of and this song just cuts it to make the bills, buy me macaroni, and get me back on MTV (the best channel evar!)

    So… before Im off to eat a burrito… or 8…

    Id say the reason all you guys dont like my single is because you guys are womanizers! hahahah! Im clever!

  20. Cherry Sundae

    I can already hear it pumping through all the strip clubs….

    gonna be a couch dance classic….

  21. ldsqtbea

    hate it … and why do we all congratulate her for doing things that she is suppose to do … like wearing panties or taking care of her children … she’s just owning up to her responsibilities … LIKE THE REST OF US … big deal … i liked a couple of songs when she was younger (like the rest of the world) but at least then she was trying to sing … now everything is processed and fake … and annoying … she should just stop her “music career” and concentrate on her kids

  22. me.ears.are.bleedin

    Hostage negotiators will play this song repeatedly in order to force the criminals to give up without a fight…

  23. Sarah Palin

    It’s all part of Gods plan. Now let us prey!

  24. Yuck!!! Another damed female! How about some hot guys fer a change?!?!?!?

  25. Barack Hussein Obama

    Hey, this song is every bit as good as Popozao…chill out. Too bad they broke up before they could do a duet together…that would be SWEEEEEET!

  26. Michelle Obama

    Pussy. Monkey House. Zoo. You know the drill.

  27. havoc

    Sounds like a cheap ass midi file ringtone you download for free…

    .

  28. ishi-san

    @ 17: hahahaha, it quiet obvious that the sound you hear is NOT her voice…..nor are the sounds of all the other “made” girls.

    @ 6: *lol* so true

  29. Slut

    I’m gonna be honest….that song sucked!!! Maybe if I sang through my nose and had the sound electronically altered, I might get a freakin record deal too! Brit, go back to Starbucks and focus more on your coffee drinking vs. a singing career.

  30. gotmilk?

    18, shut the fuck up about “shaking your head” or “bobbing your head.” the song sucks. the only reason my head was shaking is because i was having a fucking seizure from the shitty music.

    i guess the song is catchy if you listen to that kind of mindless shit. not i.

  31. OH MAN that was bad. Bad bad bad. She just needs to give up already, give up Britney and realize your days are long gone.

  32. Michelle

    Not gonna lie, Its pretty catchy

  33. The Carnival mirror pic should be your headline pic jenna!

  34. hailey

    not thrilled about it

  35. Rick

    mmmmmm….soooooo meaty….

  36. Thighhighs

    Not my favorite?

  37. bombs

    i hate myself for even clicking on this and i blame the jews for making this a big deal. i should have kept reading about the economy, and not even have click on this website. at this point, it would probably make me feel better than that song did.

  38. fags

    Oh dear, is her singing bad? Forget it then. Britney has always been all about the singing, not the tits and ass. Let’s all go listen to Madonna’s greatest hits! And then dream about a nice hairy ass…

  39. Huh?

    Hey, I’ve played Guitar Hero naked as well. It was fun, breezy, and a learning experience. Also now I know a thing or two as well.

  40. HorribleJudgment

    The song is shit. But of course Britney fans are going to say they love it. Britney fans live in rooms papered wall to wall with pictures of her. They delude themselves that she is “looking a lot better these days”. She is not. She is fat, greasy haired, pimply, and slabby armed. They have no lives except to wait for the day in which Britney will make her comeback, or come out with her new album, or be back on top. You can see these people commenting right here, saying they love or like the song or even standing up for it. I send out good wishes to following list of people. I wish that they will emerge from their Britney plastered walls, and join the world again–have a life! I wish that they will clean the bed sores they got while holding their Britney vigils–I wish the following people good luck:

    Charlie
    Chereice
    mimi
    brunette
    getacluefags
    Cherry Sundae

  41. Hoss

    Sam Lufti used to sing this song to Britney when it was time to take medicine….
    “Britney, it’s time to take your tranquilizer, your tranquilizer you ho-ho.”

  42. ummm...yeah

    #30 You rock!
    I couldn’t have said it better myself!
    #18 Shut the fuck up, Obviously you don’t know anything about good music, asshole.
    That song sucks ass and everybody knows it, including that skank Britney.
    Randal, you piece of shit, you had better not say anything about this being great,prick.
    I Hate You Randalasscruncher!

  43. bakinmycake

    Got helium?

  44. AJ

    THIS SONG IS HOTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

  45. Melissa

    Let’s see if those assholes at Elton Duran, who are hosting this manufactured piece of money-making horse shit, will approve my comment on it, or if they’ll censor out the bad and only post the positive ones… (like Kim fat hairy ass Kardashian)

  46. Melissa

    Elvis, rather

  47. Come-Honor-Face

    again, why havent we killed her for harvest yet?

  48. Jo Mama

    This has to be a first. 1st three posts, 3 different people… Fail, Fail, Fail.

  49. Baconator

    I think McCain should suspend his campaign until Britney is hot again.

  50. Grunion

    Every single “song” she has ever recorded sounds like shit so why should this be any different?

    Plus in order to have a hit album you actually have to go out and physically support it by going on MTV etc, giving interviews and lots of other shit Brits handlers are in no way going to let this unstable wack-job do. Thats why even bigger peices of shit, like say Lady Ga GA, are all over the TV promoting thier ear bleeding “music”.

    So yeah good luck with all that Shitney.

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