Britney Spears’ new album dropping early

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Britney Spears new album “Blackout” will be hitting shelves early. Originally scheduled to be released November 12, the album will be in stores October 29. I’m marking my calendar right now. I can’t wait to get my copy and, you know, go deaf. The Sun reports:

An unofficial source at her label told me: “The demand for Britney’s new album has taken everyone by surprise. People are desperate to get their hands on it.

“Executives at the label decided to give people what they want, so they opted to get it on the shelves as soon as they possibly could.”

I can’t go anywhere without hearing that Britney’s album is actually really good. Well, no shit. She didn’t even make it. They brought her in for one day at the studio, slapped a Frappucino in one hand, a Chalupa in the other, and told her to say anything into the mic. Just random words, it doesn’t matter. The entire album was already in the can. And, of course, what words came out? “Gimme More.” I mean, how dare they bring her a measly Grande Frappucino? Britney Spears gets at least a bucket of Frap, or she walks.