Britney Spears never leaves the beach

March 8th, 2006 // 101 Comments
superficial

  1. piperita

    Love the description of her career.

    Is she barefoot and pregnant again?

  2. Coolguy7711

    I still hit that….but with a condom since K-Fed has been there…..

  3. Doc

    That story brought a tear to my eye… for many reasons…

  4. LinguisticAnthro

    Unfortunately, a lot of women with a gut (be it pregnancy-induced or not) don’t understand that nobody else wants to see it.

    Her shoulders look like a linebacker’s in that last pic. Holy crap.

  5. Coolguy7711

    I still hit it…but with a condom since K-Fed has been there…..

  6. gjp

    1. Ugh
    2. all I know, if I am ever with child, I will not, repeat, will not, be strutting around in public in something I wouldn’t wear in a non-pregnant state.
    3. She should consider refocusing on her career. And stop procreating – there’s already plenty of trailers and people to fill them.

  7. seminole

    I just want to know what, in the name of God, led you to believe that anyone, anywhere, would want to see any more pics of that…thing after “the jump”?!

    People, she was always white trash, and she’s just following the route that all white trash chicks follow. They might be hot for a few years in their teens and early 20s–then they drive 95 mph into the wall. I really don’t think K-Fed had much to do with it, except that he happened to be the first one to knock her up.

  8. The linebacker look, the new trend flying through Hollywood. Janet Jackson is doing it, Ahsanti is doing it, Alisha Keys is doing it, Britney is doing it. It’s the backlash to the Nicole Richi, Olsen twins, and Linsay Lohan Holocaust chic.

  9. rachelmelanie666

    she had a baby less than 9 months ago! why is everyone dissing her? people who snap back in a month (denise richards, kate hudson, michelle williams) are NOT normal.

  10. Cheeto-loving beached whale! oh man. it hurts.

  11. Captain Awesome

    THAR SHE’S BLOWS!

  12. Grphdesi23

    Now we have proof that Britney isn’t pregnant…she’s just fat.

    Wow, bitch be packin’!

  13. Grphdesi23

    I thought sex was a weight REDUCER!

  14. Binky

    I like her hat better this time. Somehow the ‘Ducks Unlimited’ cap suits her.
    I can picture her concealed in the bush outside the Park – giving a decent Mallard call, waiting for K-Fed to cruise by in a duck suit. Go for it Brit. It worked for Cheney.

  15. Devil Is Chrome

    Something is definitely goin’ on down there…

  16. Alia

    She is like pregnant again….. love she is down to her normal weight Duckboy and were is Ducky these days crying in the fetal posisiton in a closet in his bedroom

  17. playahater101

    She really shouldn’t be wearing a bikini yet. No one wants to see that. There’s nothing wrong with being a little bigger, but we don’t wanna see it. I can’t believe she’s dumb enough to take back her loser husband. She deserves what she gets.

  18. Godless

    Ok I know you don’t personally choose the ads to be placed on your site because if you did this would be the BEST joke if the website’s “weight-loss” consisted of walking around gas stations barefoot while munching on Cheetos and slurpin’ on Starbuck’s Frapps

    Ads by Goooooogle Advertise on this site

    Britney’s Fat-Loss Secret
    How Britney lost her extra weight. And how you can too! Her secret.
    http://www.WulongforLife.com

  19. SVA1994

    Yeah, really. Doesn’t she know that when you’re recovering from one pregnancy and entering into another that you should look perpetually hot for gossip websites, even if you’re not on tour or anything? Geez, where does SHE get off not looking perfect? The utter nerve of her.

  20. downshine

    looks like madonnas kiss didn’t transfer as much “energy” as we thought. too bad.

  21. happy_bunny

    Someone’s got a bun in the oven.

    BTW, I’ve seen plenty of dudes with guts way bigger than Brit’s has ever been even at her most pregnant, plus back hair and man boobs, walk around without shirts.
    Will someone please tell those guys that we don’t want to see it?

  22. tatiana

    Britney emulates her mom, who got into the shape of her life after she had her first baby. So there’s still time for a turnabout. If she’s preg. with baby #2, she should follow Kev’s golf cart around till she can’t see her feet.

  23. always answer b

    She needs to take out her belly button jewelry because now that she’s either fat or preggers it just looks like she has extra umbilical cord hanging out.

  24. popcornsuite

    Now I’m no skinny brat, but at least I know to wear clothing that flatters my figure. So from one curvy woman to another, I say this: Britney dear, cover yourself up. You do not have a bikini body anymore.

  25. miadm2002

    Momma, make it stop!!!!!

  26. Xarah

    She’s not fat but she doesn’t need to be wearing that bikini.

  27. suzy

    did she borrow that suit from mariah carey??? it looks so familar

  28. lawgrrl

    “she had a baby less than 9 months ago! why is everyone dissing her? people who snap back in a month (denise richards, kate hudson, michelle williams) are NOT normal”

    She’s had 9 months and a gozillion dollars for personal trainers–she has no excuses. Then again, it is hard to lose the baby fat when your fingers are perpetually stained with cheetos-cheese. I thinks she’s pg again.

  29. rachelmelanie666

    she had the baby in september….less than 9 months ago!

  30. downshine

    and your point is……? she’s fat and she’s rich. so she should not be fat. get over it!

  31. Evangelia

    i want to cozy up to britney’s shoulders on a cold night. bitch needs to go through doors sideways with those mofos.

  32. hafaball

    If I ever caught myself masturbating to her, before and now, I’d chop off my penis, mail it to China, have my hands burned off with a flamethrower, and I dipped myself in acid, only to be taken out and committed to an insane asylum.

  33. I can smell her from here.

  34. happy_bunny

    What’s the Cheetos thing? How’d that happen?

    I almost want Brit to make a comeback just so she can do a video with the Cheeto Cheetah – Maybe a cover of Paula Abdul’s “Opposites Attract.”

  35. nichole

    Wow, I don’t know if she’s pregnant or not, but I never thought I’d see the day where I was thinner than Britney Spears. (I know she’s been like that for a while, but I never thought of it that way).

    For her sake I hope she’s pregnant, because that belly looks nasty.

  36. ESQ

    Clearly she is pregnant, you can tell by that brown horizontal line running down her belly.

  37. cj14mommy

    forget the bathing suit showing off her which i feel is safe to say pregnant belly…what about those boobs!
    quick brit catch them before they hit the floor my God!
    it’s pretty bad when you need a stylist to put you in the right bathing suit

  38. cj14mommy

    and ESQ, while i agree w/you and her being pregnant, it took me over 7 months to lose my horizontal line after i had my son and it didn’t appear until the 8th month…i would say she’s pregnant b/c she is clearly rounded off and firm not saggy

  39. Tetsuo

    @16: It’s called punctuation, bitch. Use some.

  40. Swamp

    Clearly Britney is pregnant again. Is she nuts? Why would she want another child with that loser? We can only hope it’s not his !!

  41. Sister Morphine

    Hey Britney…….get the Cheeto dust off your hands and Federslime’s dick out of your mouth and hit the treadmill, okay?

  42. Zed

    Though her career has probably permanently flat-lined by now, Brit desperately needs a stylist just to stop scaring the poor people of Hawaii, the southern half of California, and the city of Malibu specifically.

    And the baby! She’s probably scaring the baby with some of the rat-ugly outfits she wears …

    Poor Sean Preston–even the nanny dresses better!

    :)

  43. Jewbacca

    Whoa, those mammaries are full! I kinda like her chunky. Chunky girls usually have a nice, fat kooze!

  44. Zed

    #19: “… Geez, where does SHE get off not looking perfect? The utter nerve of her.”

    Perfect? We’re just striving for Britney to follow society’s norms of combing her hair, coloring her roots, wearing hair extensions that actually in some small way SLIGHTLY match the hair color ON THE REST OF HER HEAD, showering daily, and not entering gas station bathrooms shoeless.

    Oh, and to put some makeup on and stop scaring people with her belly and braless boobs hanging out all over the place in ugly, ill-fitting, lame outfits in butt-ugly patterns and colors.

    She’s in show business–how about if she follows the standard of that industry? You know, dressing decently and making an attempt to rise above the crowd…too much to ask? Then she shouldn’t be earning the millions her adoring (you’ve seen DuckBoy, right?) fans paid her.

  45. Tea

    Why, she’s a lumberjack gal!

  46. bella1218

    My god she’s a fatty. i’m pregnant, and never once have i thought…”hmmm…i want to be fat.” federline must be keeping her fat so she can’t leave because no one else wants her now.

  47. clitcommander

    Holy pork fuckers, a woman can lose her perfect body after a baby?

    (God knows Playboy didn’t do a STITCH of Airbrushing on Denise Richards- they are waaaay too honest to do that shit.)

    I remember about this time last year when Brit first got preggers and every dude was sportin’ wood saying she was gonna be ‘such a MILF.’

    So…..here’s your MILF, boys, cum-n-get ‘er!

    After all, she now fits the definition of a MILF, I think. She’s a mom and if you were drunk, you’d fuck her. (Shit, don’t lie…you’d do it cold ass sober too.)

    Hope I am not ruining any fantasy anyone may have had.

    That is unless your fantasy of a ‘MILF’ is actually your best friends old ass mom, A.K.A The Crypt Keeper- and then in that case, hopefully your best friend fucks you up for even wanting to screw his mom.

    So to all the big swinging dicks who are bitchin’ about Ms. thangs big ‘ol belly…quit fucking whining! If big guts aren’t your thing, then hop on over to the menopause clinic and pick up your bitch .

    (* Note to self- kids can distroy your body, but some men will still expect you to work out 6 hours a day to fix it.)

    (* Another note to self- fuck them.)

  48. bella1218

    thst coming from the clit commander…

  49. clitcommander

    I’m a woman, but I can see how the name would confuse you.

    Any Kevin Smith fans out there know it’s a joke from one of his movies.

    (Sorry to fuck with your head… I shouldn’t give the impression I am out there commanding clits all over the world.)

    I just liked the name….sorry I couldn’t come up with something as snazzy as ‘bella1218′

    I’ll try harder next time.

  50. urockmysocks

    she reminds me of miss piggy :]

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