Britney Spears names her new baby Jailynn

September 6th, 2006 // 122 Comments




  1. happy_bunny

    He looks like Chuckie.

  2. Brak

    I would have named her Kingsley.

  3. piratekuhnbeard

    He does look really angry. And Jailynn’s not THAT bad of a name.. if I’m pronouncing it right. And why would she have the children share the same birthday? How totally unfair.

  4. Ivana Mandalay

    Wouldn’t you look angry and evil too if you had to face growing up with Britney and K-Fed as your parents? I sure as hell would be. At least Kori and Kaleb (K-Fed’s other 2 kids) get a break from them, Sean is pretty much screwed.

  5. sugarplum

    That baby looks kinda fat.

  6. WHy are they bothering with sugar-coating it? Why not go ahead and name her “Jailbait,” after what we can assume is K-Fag’s favorite characteristic in a “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” woman?

  7. Jailynn .. jailin’ .. same diff ..

  8. Dory

    I gotta agree #7 and it’s definatly better than Moon Unit… it is kinda unfair they share a birthday yet kinda not as well… just picture both kids having seperate sleepovers for their birthday the group of boys throwing food at the little girls until they fight back. It would be hillarious. And it also means both kids get presents so when little don’t feel left out.

  9. Either it is because they are being pulled up or those are the tightest baby shorts I have seen.

  10. Do Freebird

    Wow! When I look at the first picture, I’m struck at how dowdy, dumpy and fat old Brit has gotten. I wonder if she ever thinks back to when basically every man in the word wanted to nail her.

    haven’t said this in a while.
    I’m aint nailing that nasty shit.

  11. elcunto

    Uggh SP looks like Chris Farley, especially in the top pic.

  12. docweasel

    Why not Jailbait? At least for its teen years?
    Then change to Jailbird. I’m sure Brit has some redneck trailer trash relatives in the bighouse who would be honoured!

  13. ffordegroupie

    What a ridiculous name. Very suitable for the Beverly Hillbillies.

    SPF really DOES look like the Godfather there — the Godson? Whatever, he looks like he’s about to order a hit on someone. And in his situation, who could blame the poor child? He’s got a lot to be angry about. (At least we’re fairly sure who his parents are — UNLIKE SURI CRUISE)

    11. She probably thinks that they still do, because she’s rich enough to inspire flattery. But you’re right — she’s utterly dowdy, dumpy, and she looks way older than she is.

  14. Bad_kitty_cat

    Weeee… Sean Preston is well on the way to happy morbid-obesity land… I have seen many chubby babies but none with celullitis! Now we know what a steady dose of lard covered Doritos does to a toddler…

    Just for the record, Tom Cruise loves the Cock and an asian one at that…

  15. suzy

    um… Jailynn.. no good

    jamie + lynn = lamie

    or jinnie

    or how bout an uncombined name :-)

  16. Giggles

    God this is so sad. But I like #8.

  17. ScottInFlorida

    This kid could be the next Einstein, (doubt it), or the next Hitler, (doubt that too).

    More likely this kid is going to be serving me fries in the year 2024.

  18. I just can’t make fun of a poor innocent little baby. He obviously didn’t choose his ridiculous mom …

  19. CMonster0125

    Is it me, or is this the first time we’ve seen the kid dressed in more then a diaper and a t-shirt? Did K-Fed finally buy something for someone other then himself? Or did Brit win the outfit for “eating the most Cheetos” contest?

  20. I think “Jailynn” is the Native American translation, which literally means, “Dances with White Trash.”

    Sometimes my translating skills are a little rusty, but I think that’s it. Yup. That’s it.


  21. ffordegroupie

    I just figured out why he’s mad — the kid doesn’t want to share his birthday!

    I can just imagine Britney’s take: “If ah have mah second booboo on mah first booboo’s birthday, then ah can save money on presents and cake, and then ah can buy some more cheetos and beer. Y’all know booboos never notice if ya give ‘em one present together! We’re country.”

  22. amajean040904

    that baby looks like the baby from the last seson of Roseanne “Jerry Garcia Conner”

  23. LilRach

    That’s not too bad of a name – i just don’t get why there has to be the “i” in there? Doesn’t is read the same as “Jalynn” – i dunno.
    Sean Preston has gotten really chubby! But i still thinks he’s really cute – i’m not that low of a person to mock a baby who can’t defend itself – unlike some others.

  24. gapeachrocks

    The planned birthdate isn’t nearly as obnoxious as combining the parents’ names to make a baby name. HATE that! Although some names come out OK, most are gross combinations that appear to be the byproduct of illiterate parents. Not cute, just ignorant. I think making “jail” a part of this child’s name is an ugly omen.

  25. scamps

    I keep trying to say it, but it always sounds like “Jailin’”.

  26. qube68

    In the last picture he looks like Larry Flynt! And if I was him I’d be angry too… he’s probably thinking “She’s holding me and a drink and walking again — doesn’t this biatch remember the that last time she tried such a feat I nearly face planted on the sidewalk? I hate my life!”

  27. Beeyotch

    This stupid ho just keeps getting stupider and stupider. JAILYNN!??!?? Doesn’t she know smoking crack while choosing the baby’s name is bad for the baby?

    And WHY choose to have them on the same day? Dumb bitch probably thinks it’s cute, never mind thinking that the kids are going to think it sucks FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

    Those poor, poor kids. I’ll keep feeling sorry for them until the day they start acting just as trashy as their parents. They didn’t ask for this.

  28. neatokim

    Well, it beats Ellie Mae. I’m kinda surprised the Big Boy mascot she’s holding there isn’t named Jethro.

    Britney, stop feeding the baby cheesesteaks.

  29. xo_breathless

    well, her sister’s name is jaimie lynn.. so i guess the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. and does she know her bra is hanging out?

  30. cayana

    His parents are Britney & K-Fed. The poor kid got dropped on his head. Of course he looks angry.

    Also, is it just me or does it look like he has blue eyeshadow on in the last pic?

  31. arthurfonzarelli

    Jailynn, I love it because it has “jail” in it. Surely, someone in the Spears-Federline family will end up there…

    And that baby definitely has eyeshadow on.

  32. I am sorry. There is nothing more I can say about her that hasn’t already been barfed out. But, I will say that at least Britney can still remember how to get dressed even though she thinks she can travel back to 1806.

  33. bond

    that kid looks just like damien on the old omen movie. creepy stuff!

  34. Jenny

    Her baby is so cute!!!!!!! Cute in the kinda fugly weird creepy way, because he does look so much like the godfather. But yeah, what’s with the Jamies and Lynns… Not a great name to begin with. Unoriginal, ghetto, easy to make fun of and so on. And Jailynn Federline has a bad ring. It’s all about the ring.

  35. Tracy

    I was born on my sister’s first birthday and it wasn’t so bad… except when she said I was her birthday present and therefore was born to be her personal slave. Then she’d accuse me of stealing her new jeans and hit me with her cell phone… no, wait, that’s Naomi Campbell.

  36. frenchtoaststix

    Jailynn is the white trashiest name ever. Even Kevilynn would be better. It’s bound to look good on a Wal-Mart tag, which is where she will probably end up after all her mom’s billions are washed down the drain trying to make a rap star out of her dad.

    In other news, Tom and Katie have a mail-order Asian baby.

  37. suzy

    ok, a baby’s head is suppose to be very very fragile the first year they’re alive right??

    why doesn’t this kid ever have a hat on his head? no sun protection- nada


    and that’s not blue eyeshadow.. that’s just cuz for a 1 year old he’s got a tan and his eye lids are a lighter shade… like brian williams lol

    but i just think its the lighting and stuff

  38. suzy


    Anyone see it on Brit’s left hand??? I don’t

  39. Tracie

    Imagine, it’s the year 2024 and the newest breakout star to the porn scene is introduced:
    That’s what the name sounds like to me.

    Also, I think anyone who “plans” their kid’s birthday by a scheduled C-section is a loser. I mean, the twat admitted that the only reason she had a C-section in the first place is because she was “afraid of the pain”. ??? Like marrying K-Fed, losing everything from your looks to your fans (bascially watching your once envied life fall apart before you even turn 25) isn’t pain enough? Fumbduck!

  40. Tracie

    P. S. #39, She’s way too puffy and preggers for the ring to even fit on her hand anymore. (It’s either that, or it got lost in that renegade bag of Cheetos she has shoved under Sean’s carseat.)

  41. Melany

    No i look like Mac in Mac And Me !!!!

  42. Melany

    No HE look like Mac in Mac And Me haha!!!!

  43. jonesy

    I’m a superstitious baby, and if some unlucky accident should befall Jailynn – if she is to be shot in the head by a police officer, or be found hung dead in a jail cell… or if she should be struck by a bolt of lightning – then I’m going to blame some of the paparazzi in this photo op; and then I do not forgive.

  44. Attinoss

    I think it’s really disgusting to make rude comments about a baby. I mean, come on people, he’s just a baby! I also think it’s really rude to make comments about Britney’s weight/body; hello, she’s eight months pregnant. Also, babies are often fat. It makes them cute. It means they’re healthy. So the baby is having a bad day, saying he’s evil is just despicable. What is wrong with you people that you tear apart an innocent child(metaphorically) just because you don’t like his parents?

  45. beifiori

    all i can say is at least she’s naming them normal names and something like tonka toy mach dadi, and sillyputty sinee’

  46. beifiori

    #25, i totally agree with you on the name combining thing…my sister in law SWEARS she’s going to name a daugther JuLyn after my brother and I’s mom (judy) and her mom (lynda)…i cringe everytime i hear her say it and say a silent prayer that God will only allow little boy sperm come out of my brother…

  47. I’m just suprised she didn’t name it Chester Cheeto.

    Dumb bitch.

  48. AmberDextrose

    How about Kevney or Britin? Or how about the combined names of Kev’s parents, Dumbass and Hobo?

  49. Naid

    haha – my name is Jaelynn …. but not cause my parents names are Jamie or Lynn … ugh. i agree thougyh ” Jail’in ” this kid is deffo K-feds spawn.

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