Britney Spears’ most pivotal career move yet: Not getting a traffic ticket

October 23rd, 2008 // 19 Comments

Britney Spears’ traffic case that ended in a mistrial is being trumpeted by her lawyer Michael Flanagan as a monumental triumph of the human spirit, according to People:

“It marks a turnaround for her. This case was a thorn in her side for more than a year, a reminder of the bad old days,” he said. “She’s thrilled the court system, for once, worked in her favor.”
The trial – which heard only one day of witness testimony – failed to convince a jury that Spears broke the law by driving without a California license, stemming from a 2007 fender-bender. It ended Tuesday in a hung jury, 10-2 in favor of her innocence, and a dismissal of the case.

While I’m sure Britney’s lawyers is trying to make himself feel better for not doing his job and actually winning this thing, I can think of some bigger milestones in Britney’s “comeback” that have a bit more gravitas. Like learning how to wear undergarments and not using a toddler’s head as an ashtray. I don’t know how they did it, but I can only assume it involved a secluded cabin in the woods and intense hypnotherapy. Or, I dunno, they promised her a cookie. Either one.

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Comments (19)

  1. Sport | October 23, 2008 at 11:10 am

    Wont this cow just go away. I for one would love to see her have to live a life like the rest of us, talk about a cure.

    Get a real job.
    Live in a normal house (ONE only.)
    Take care of your own fucking kids.
    Lose the nannies, assistants, trainers, maids, housekeepers and all the other worthless fucks you need to survive.

    Reply
  2. Sport | October 23, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Ooops I forgot…

    Subscribe to ProActiv.

    Reply
  3. Ted from LA | October 23, 2008 at 11:14 am

    I wonder who she has wipe her ass.

    I’m with her lawyer on this one. This is the biggest legal case since Roe v. Wade.

    Reply
  4. Me | October 23, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Cool shirt, hot bod

    Reply
  5. lulukiss | October 23, 2008 at 11:27 am

    I enjoy her music. It’s a big surprise that she has joined ^^^^^^FitnessKiss. C O M^^ ^^^^ and start her journey to new love. I believe ^^^^^^FitnessKiss. C O M^^ ^^^^ is the right place

    for this talent girl.

    Reply
  6. Me | October 23, 2008 at 11:32 am

    @1, Womanizer just became Britney Spears’ first #1 single in 10 years. She has unprecedented, inexplicable staying power. She’s not going anywhere so stop fighting it, accept it and move on.

    Oh and obviously no one who is worth $150 million is going to get “a real job” and only live in one house. She’s successful, don’t hate.

    Reply
  7. joe m | October 23, 2008 at 11:33 am

    It’s no wonder a beautiful,talented lady like Britney
    makes so many losers jealous of her.
    We should all continue to pray for her.

    Reply
  8. Binky | October 23, 2008 at 11:43 am

    Well it looks like she’s working out now.
    And say – isn’t that Joe the Plumber she’s with in the pics ?
    Looks like she’s moving on to new things/professions. Good 4 her !

    Reply
  9. LL | October 23, 2008 at 11:44 am

    #3, I must disagree: I think it’s the most significant legal finding since Plessy v. Ferguson.

    I do agree with her lawyer: It’s about goddam time a wealthy white woman caught a break in the S. California legal system. The jails are full to bursting with wrongfully accused white bitches. Where’s their champion, huh? I think it’s Britney now. Attica, Attica, Attica!!!!!

    Reply
  10. Anonymous | October 23, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    #7, are you kidding me? We’re MOCKING her, nobody is jealous. She has nothing to be jealous of. Nearly 27 years old and she’s still incapable of doing even the most routine things that most people do every day. She has to have a team of people to hold her hand and guide her around, because she doesn’t have the brain cells to function as a normal human being. And it will always be that way. She will never be able to be left alone to function by herself, because she’s far too stupid.

    Reply
  11. Catani | October 23, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    OMG…This bitch is getting uglier by the minute. At 17-18 she was actually bangable ..but now….damn…she looks like the arm pit of my grandma. Britney….I have to say that I’m glad that you came back on top as an artist. But as a human beeing….damn…you’re at the bottom of the pit. I suggest you go back to grade school and start over.

    Reply
  12. mimi | October 23, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    BRITNEY ROCKS AND all you haters suck!

    GO BRITNEY!

    Reply
  13. lulu | October 23, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    hey, she has the exact same sunglasses as me. except, i bought my at walmart for $10

    Reply
  14. Chelle | October 23, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    Now that she’s got her nice figure back, I think someone should steer her towards soap, shampoo and a toothbrush.

    Reply
  15. I_AM_*LIMERICK_MAN* | October 23, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    There was a young singer named Spears
    Whose talent was left in arrears
    Her songs, if you’ve heard
    Are like polished up turds
    That cause listeners to slice off their ears

    Reply
  16. Randal | October 23, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    There are bad days and there are good days.

    Britney, you’ve worked so hard to get your two left feet walking forward again and it clearly shows. Womanizer is the #1 song on the club charts and continues to be remixed by the top DJs in the world as a beat to get everyone up and shuffling their feet.

    May the lessons you’ve learned in the past year help you grow to be the woman you’re becoming.

    Your fans still luv ya!

    Randal

    Reply
  17. useless and greedy | October 23, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    #1. Is completely right. Nice to see someone with a brain around here.

    Reply
  18. coachk | October 24, 2008 at 9:53 am

    #3 – Ted, I’d definitely volunteer for any “job” brit would have me do, so long as i get to touch that angel’s body or sniff those heavenly socks she is holding after a workout. I’ve loved this babe from schoolgirl teen in knee high socks, to crazy chick in slouch socks to workout womanizer in sweatsocks. She is almosttheaven!!!

    Reply
  19. Helen | October 29, 2008 at 6:55 am

    Wow…, she is so sexy and hot. BTW, my brother told me he saw her profile and photos at an age gap dating club **AgelessOnly.c o m**. She has written some blogs a few days ago. Maybe you should have a look.

    Reply

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