Britney Spears’ mom to write tell-all book

By: The Superficial / October 26, 2007
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Britney Spears mom Lynne Spears will publish an auto-biography about her experiences raising celebrity children, according to Ok! Magazine:

Set for a spring 2008 release, mama Spears’ memoir will give readers and fans a revealing look into her “personal story” of grooming Britney, 25, and Jamie Lynn, 16, into big-time celebs “while coming from a low-profile Louisiana community.”

Britney Spears turned out so awesome, so I bet this book is full of useful information. I can’t wait to buy it for my mom and show her how she messed up. Why couldn’t you sell me to the Mickey Mouse Club, mom? Huh? We could be living in mansions and I could have all the Chalupas I want. But, no, you screwed it all up. I don’t need you. While you were busy not exploiting me, I hit puberty at age seven and quickly developed these pythons I call arms. They’re all the love I need.

Note: I also need the love of bikini models, grain alcohol and the occasional tank.