Britney Spears missed 8 out of 14 drug tests

November 8th, 2007 // 117 Comments

Lawyers for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline met in court today to discuss Britney’s inability to be available for randomized drug tests. She failed to respond to 8 out of 14 requests. Kevin’s lawyer claims Britney lives in a “parallel universe” and reminded the judge that she has already been reprimanded three times for not providing an accurate phone number, according to People:

Spears’s lawyer, Anne Kiley, called the current drug testing procedure “unconstitutional,” adding that just because the singer may fail to respond to testing calls doesn’t mean she’s using drugs. Kiley also pointed out that Spears has passed multiple tests successfully.

Explaining why Spears frequently changes her phone number, Kiley said the singer’s number often falls into the wrong hands.
When Commissioner Gordon stated that responding to a morning call wasn’t an extreme request, Kiley shot back: “But you’re not a pop star with a No. 1 album to promote.”

You mean the No. 2 album on Billboard? The one Britney Spears label can’t even trust her to promote? I believe the day it came out she sat around eating fried chicken and watching movies. But, yeah, you’re right that’s some back-breaking labor. Britney should get a night’s rest. She also needs her energy to single-handedly keep the Malibu fast food business in the black. It’s tough work, but, God love her, she’s a fighter.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Danklin24

    “just because the singer may fail to respond to testing calls doesn’t mean she’s using drugs”

    Of course it doesnt, it just means she doesnt love her kids. Duh.

  2. Auntie Kryst

    I rip on this fucktard a lot, but I’ll give her some credit here. I appreciate that her man-bitch douchebag handler is carrying her American Spirits instead of Marlboros.



  4. lapluie

    I suspect she went “car shopping” so she could get her paws on 3 chocolate chip cookies….

  5. lastangelman

    Somebody put the poor cow out of its misery and serve it as sirloin burgers at Sirkus Clown Face Fast Food Fun Place – you won’t have to add cheeze, already built in.

  6. Karl

    Well, sombody’s urine passed 8 drug tests, but I doubt it was Britney’s. Perhaps the fat man who wouldn’t pick up her hat…

  7. allison

    oh my GOD is the comissioner really named comissioner gordon?? LIKE IN BATMAN???

  8. I think you look as a pretty COOL person to me honey!!

  9. This look is quite COOL indeed but you must show bare(half) legs by wearing (green) pumps!!

  10. hausfrau

    Gerard Vandenberg is one wild and craaaazy guy!!!!!!!

  11. FRT

    Britney lives in a “parallel universe”

    Da ya think so? A universe filled with yummy calorie laden cookies, junk food, cocaine, alcohol, sleeping pills, and who know what else!

    Looks like you’ve grown a FEW sizes in jeans there Brit…?

  12. ?????????????????????????????????

    copied from Riotboy.

  13. MsMilf

    WTF #45 she looks f*ckable??
    sausage armed ZitPig,
    #45 time to RAISE your bar man!!

  14. Buck

    Commissioner Gordon! That’s friggin funny!

    As for Brit, she’s not funny. She kind of makes me feel icky in my boy parts. She is absolutely nauseating. Why doesn’t she just go away???!!!

  15. Amy_Green

    I love Britney. Do you know her ex?
    This guy has posted his personal ad to a celebrities dating site for several months. That site called I just visited his profile page yesterday seems he has not logged in recently.

  16. i hate this bitch

    remember her restaurant that failed “nyla”? she forced 3 partners into bankruptcy and then cut all ties… this is all karma

  17. SoulHunter

    what a wonderfull mercedes

  18. Feckless

    #64 just lovely

  19. FACE

    She looks good enough to fuck. Stinky white trash pussy – yum

  20. Britney Mears mother

    She’s either a lazy disinterested bitch or has something to hide. Me thinks it’s both.

  21. Jenny Jane

    And this is what she wears to court?? I have 3 teenage daughters – I wouldnt let them wear THAT to school…..and she has HOW much money??? But this is the best she could come up with. She has become nothing but a piss poor example of how women should look, act, be mothers…..

    Such a shame….so young, and such trash.

  22. Jeff

    I don’t care what anyone says, i would still hit that over and over again, She is still hot!!!!

  23. jbird

    I’m not lezzy or anything, but in picture 7 you can see just a peak of pubic hairs coming above her jeans. For some reason that seems so HOT!

  24. lola

    everyother photo has her with a cookie in her hand or some form of junk food. And, #95-thats a tattoo not pubic hair…….silly

  25. she is her own worst enemy

    she didn’t do shit to promote it. her radio interview with ryan seacrest pissed me off. any unhappiness she has is her own damn fault. a majority of people have given her second chances. she even has good metabolism and she tries to fuck that up too with her shitty diet and drinking.

  26. oh britney

    she does nothing. so lazy, so destructive. with the way she eat and her personal hygiene she should really look much worse than this. it is lucky for her that she is naturally muscular, has a button nose, and good teeth. she should thank her mom for those gymnastic classes and dance classes when she was a kid.

  27. Chef

    #95 those aint pubes. Brit shaves or at least she did for all her flashing shots. It gotta be a tat or some other GROWTH. OR maybe it some spilled food from some other munch time. Yeah, that’s what it is, another cookie stuffed down her snatch for an emergency.

  28. fatney

    95- How can the sight of pubic hair hanging out a pant waistband get you all hot…especially on this cookie monster.

  29. WTF?

    Why can’t this bitch ever match her bra with her shirt? She could be wearing a white T-shirt that is 5 sizes too big with sweat stains under the arm pits…and she’d still be wearing a fucking pink bra!

    WAIT! Let me re-phrase that:

    She SHOULD be wearing a white T-shirt….

    Ah, much better!

  30. TheListener

    jbird, I agree with Chef. It looks more like part of a tattoo. But I agree a hint of pubes can be a turn-on.

  31. Chef

    #101 She just wants us to see she has reformed from her wicked ways and now wears undergarments.

    “See Commissioner Gordon, I’m a good mom now. I wear a bra in public. BUT, I am not giving up these boots. No sir, your Honor. And these cookies. I’M NOT GIVING UP THESE COOKIES EITHER!”

  32. gotmilk?

    pubes are disgusting.

    the end.

  33. IWONKY


  34. Blondamnation

    The BOOTS,. O dear god the boots.
    Why, Britney, why? Do you think they look good? Did someone tell you that? Or are they just comfortable? I could see if they were comfortable. Like slippers, don’t you have a nice pair of bunny slippers that your aunt Betty Jean gave you? Or are they not crazy enough for a stylish girl like you? Go dust them off, they’ll look better than those boots you’re addicted to.

    I haven’t been more baffled by anything since Tom Cruise. (You know, the whole ‘I’m driving the crazy train to has-been-ville’ thing he’s gotgoin..)

  35. jersey

    you morons defend a woman who doesnt take proper care of her children.
    she is too busy sucking down frappachinos and cheetos to piss in a cup.
    britney is a dirty filthy scumbag. fuck her and fuck the fantards.

  36. Nikk



  37. Shannon

    That’s all she needs is more fucking cookies.

  38. bomb-pop

    she looks like a fucking STUFFED SAUSAGE in those jeans !!!

    she looks like she has a 10 inch layer of fat on her now !!!

    and the chunk is eating COOKIES !!!!

  39. Clee Clee

    She looks worse than the HOMELESS people I work with who are HIV positive and struggling to exist on under the table wages. She makes $700 grand a month? She should be ASHAMED of herself.

  40. Dave

    She doesn’t seem to give a damn about anything anymore…like someone before a suicide. It’s sad. On the brite side, new album “Blackout” really rocks all the way….awesome beats. The rave reviews she has gotten from Rolling Stone, AP, CNN, and USA Today are definitely deserved.Now she posted a profile on a celebrity dating site named Who know what she do next….

  41. How beautiful she is ! Some of my best friends who are long time with told me she has a profile on the nudist date site and left some of her nude photos there. Yeah ! Nudist is free for the life…

  42. If you want to know what the sunglasses are that Britney is wearing here, go to I just stumbled across this website and it is really a blast to use. You can use their search engine to find out what sunglasses all the celebs are wearing. If they don’t already have it on file, you can request that they research it and post it, even giving you a public thanks for helping add to their growing library of celebs and sunglasses. Pretty cool.

  43. Paul

    You sorry ass men, all of you would climb Mt Everest for on little lick

  44. Paula

    You sorry ass men, all of you would climb Mt Everest for on little lick

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