Britney Spears ‘married for the wrong reasons,’ has recording talent of a ham sandwich

November 19th, 2008 // 46 Comments

In the above clip from the upcoming MTV documentary Britney: For the Record, Britney Spears reveals she can easily be replaced with a chimp playing a tambourine on her album and also regrets marrying Kevin Federline. You know, despite the fact they had two kids, but, eh, that’s not important:

“Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of everything.”

When reached for comment Kevin Federline responded by laughing his way to the nearest bank and cashing his $20,000 monthly support check.

NOTE: Video after the jump of Britney Spears once again hinting she’s never more than two steps away from stabbing her therapist in the neck and fleeing pantsless through downtown LA. Whee!

superficial

  1. brown chicken brown cow

    first

  2. “Britney Spears reveals she can easily be replaced with a chimp playing a tambourine”

    Awww…now why you gotta drag Obama into this?

  3. Barak Obama

    The thought of pantsless Britney gives me a hard on.

    #2, that was too damn funny.

  4. p0nk

    queue mimi with her pro-britney/fish sucks outrage in 3…2…1…

  5. gotmilk?

    wtf is she talking about? does she even know…probably not.

  6. you stand in a queue and you take your cue

    yes, I’m “that guy”

  7. That MTV documentary Britney: For The Record is 90 freakin’ minutes long.
    I will be glued to my TV set that night, stuffing my face full of Cheetos.

    Thank you MTV.

  8. Randal

    There’s a lot to be said about Britney Spears, the pop princess of all time, since she knocked us all over with “Baby Hit Me One More Time”, especially when she’s so down to earth and honest. Not only is she honest with her fans but even more important, honest with herself.

    Although Kevin may not be the best choice she’s made, she does have two beautiful children that came from it and that would never be the case today if she didn’t fall for him in the first place.

    You’ve grown a lot, Britney, even to the point of becoming a woman.

    Randal

  9. NY Ted

    Truth told…my old tom-cat could sing better then Spears…and he has been dead for 15 years….!!!!!

    But hey….as long as the masses go and buy this shit…K-Fed will keep getting his 20K a month!

  10. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  11. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  12. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  13. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  14. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  15. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  16. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  17. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  18. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  19. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  20. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  21. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  22. blah

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  23. A-Money

    Randal… that was a little creepy

  24. CaptainCack

    blah blah blah

    Oh, a day doesn’t go by that we aren’t subjected to Spears drama….

    Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  25. ishi-san

    blah you are jaming

  26. blp

    FRIST that was awesome

  27. LIMERICK_MAN_RULES

    There was a young singer named Spears
    Whose talent was left in arrears
    Her songs, if you’ve heard
    Are like polished up turds
    Causing listeners to slice off their ears

  28. supersex

    WTF, she’s so special.

    fucking retard

    i’d still fuck her but she needs to keep her mouth shut..

  29. humpin frog

    Thanks Limerick. Thought I would give it a go.

    There once was a girl named Brit
    And Randal (#8) thinks she is “It”
    She enjoys her drugs
    Acts like a buttplug
    And expects us to give a shit

  30. LIMERICK_MAN_APPLAUDES

    Limerick Man likes :)

  31. LIMERICK_MAN_CONTRIBUTES

    (New Limerick Man prose can be found in the Eliot Spitzer whore interview write-up):
    http://thesuperficial.com/2008/11/ashley_dupres_fifteen_minutes.php

  32. mimi

    Britney is in the news and in this idiot-ass column almost every day.

    Britney is here to stay…

    so SHUT THE BLAH UP! !

  33. LEB

    “I think I got married for the wrong reasons.”

    Um… NO SH*T!!??

  34. krbcan

    She sounded incredibly bad. Off key and just really hard to listen to. How in the world does she still have a career?

  35. baby jane

    well, i try not to ever get too down on B-rock–cause it is sorta like shootin’ fish in a barrel–but i must say–give it up, girl–the life in your eyes is gone-if it is your therapy–do it for that–but the spark you once had for performance seems so far away

    what was with her scary vegas slot -machine & rum n’ coke addict smoker’s speaking voice? deep and cracking and weird. and her verve in the “recording” booth was hysterical–yet more evidence of why dance music is more dance than music–all a ound kinda sad and creepy. oh well. and she doesn’t even look that pretty–talk about a potato face. blech–maybe she’ll turn it in, go gay and retire to a farm in oregon. probably be the best thing for her,

  36. What Thee Sheeeeeet?

    The one thing I’ve learned from watching the above videos is I can sing a fuck load better than Spears. While you think this would give me more faith in myself is has just given me less faith in the world. Why the fuck are people still buying this shit?

  37. Shawn

    Of course she can’t sing. That’s EXACTLY why she was so popular. When Britney first came onto the scene, every little girl between the ages of 6 and 16 saw her and thought, “Wow. She’s really no different than me! I could be a star, too!” They’ve been living vicariously through her for the past decade.

  38. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Who the fuck would want to torture themselves with 90 minutes of pure crap??? It would take less than 2 minutes to describe how a talentless bitch became a sensation, then a whore, then a trainwreck…. then finish with a few of the many, many snatch shots of her on the web. Now take the remaining 88 minutes and go thoroughly scrub that shit back out of your brain before it becomes a permanent memory and fucks up your thinking for the rest of your life…… seriously.

  39. Mr. Meaty Pants

    LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!!!

  40. Micky Mc

    Ham Sandwiches everywhere are insulted.

  41. BrittanyIsAFraud

    Randal you’re kidding right? OMFG! You aren’t? I have never heard more processed nasally baby voice singing in my life. I am sure if you stuck her with a microphone and no equipment she would sound like absolute shit.

  42. sunshine

    Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be popstars . . .
    Let ‘em be doctors and lawyers and such

  43. Master of The Obvious

    People who don’t want to hear about Britney are usually smart enough to not come to http://www.thesuperficial.com. Most smart people already know that this is BritneyParisAmyLindsayKimHeidiSpencer Central, and you will most likely see or read something about those people here on a regular basis, especially Britney, in fact, this is exactly where people come to see and read tawdry stories about people like her. So common sense, this is not the place to come if you don’t want to hear about Britney and re-posting your message that you feel you are being subjected to Spears’ drama is a waste of time and dumb. Guess some people aren’t too smart.

  44. IWONKY

    With parents like Britney and Kfed, those kids are probably braindead.

  45. Sweater Meats

    Ham Sandwich is my cousin, very talented in the studio and sounds way better than Britney – Leave my cousin alone!

  46. IWONKY

    How do you fuck Britney if her mouth is shut?
    You’d have better luck, in her butt.
    On second thought, my dick won’t go there.
    Not unless she’s got her butt in the air.

    I’d never put it in her cooch,
    Unless I drink a gallon of hooch.
    Cuz, I wanna live to fuck another day
    I won’t put it in her twat, no way.

Leave A Comment