Britney Spears loves them tiny cars, y’all!

December 16th, 2008 // 43 Comments

A recently bleached Britney Spears performed in Japan and took some time to soak up the culture. Her key take-away? “They drive little cars”:

Britney seems to be having a great time on her trip and says, “I love Japan! I think all the tiny cars are so cute!”

While I can finally sleep at night knowing Britney Spears is infatuated with tiny automobiles, this also proves my theory that her website is written by and for eight-year-old girls. I can’t wait for Britney’s next post where she tackles the suckiness of homework and next-door neighbor Timmy Johnson’s life as a poop-head.

Photos: Splash News

  1. boogermeister

    possibly first-a-mundo

  2. matilda jeffries


  3. *We’re off to see the wizard*

    Hey fish those brit brit pics aint coming up when you click on them…

  4. Lucy

    I noticed that too about the pics…I wanted to see how long her real hair is now.

  5. effing brilliant… The tiny cars match her tiny brain… except they run efficiently…

  6. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    They do drive tiny cars in Japan. I have been there many times. Japan is the only country I would want to live in besides the USA.

    Mitsubishi makes a tiny 4 x4 van they use for camping. Man that thing freaking rocks!

  7. Have you ever seen Japanese porn? Dude whips out an albino tootsie roll and the chick screams like King Kong’s got his ding dong in her hoo hah.

    Oh… that has nothing to do with this at all… stop looking at me like me that…

  8. Obama the Messiah

    Japanese chicks are so freaking hot. Except their teeth look like a bag of french fries!

  9. dork

    Dear Superficial,
    Alas, I have found a new site to spend my time… thank you for the link to the official Britney site… I have found my new home… and true love… good-bye… I will miss all you ugly people…
    Formerly Forever yours,

  10. Balls McCoy

    @2 WOW! LMAO!

  11. Lebanese Tiger

    this new font is shite. stop it.

  12. Sport

    fake nails. fake hair. fake talent – perfect.

  13. twelve



  14. Cutie

    I’m eight years old, and I think she is really pretty now. In fact, she is just the most beautifulest in the world.

    But, I would like to see her and her kids all wearing multi-color knit hats with ears. My mom made me one, and it is sooooooooooooooooooo cute, I can’t stand it!

  15. Erik

    I agree with #7 – by “tiny car” she was clearly referring to the Japanese minipene.

  16. ishi-san

    ‘tiny’ is relative! Maybe its just that you Americans make HUGE, environment-unfriendly, gas-slurping monster cars! (how do yo say: big car, small …..)

  17. James Martineau

    Ah, and the circle is complete: Britney has just one-upped the caricature OF HERSELF from the movie Lost in Translation.

  18. mimi

    Get lives of your own ass-wipes!


  19. mimi does anal

    mimi, do you have any kind of life? You are here every day cheerleading dysfunctioal millionaire celebrites whose main problems are that they are addicted to drugs like cocaine, which causes most of their problems. But I am sure you can’t figure that out for yourself.
    A thought of advise for you dear. Why not settle for that fat older guy down the road? You aren’t getting any younger and you aren’t gonna get the guys you like. They don’t like you. Why not start a family now that you most likely, at your age, can sire a clutch of Down Syndrome babies. I hear they are very loving and will always be there for you for the rest of your life!
    Better than nothing mimi. Think of how alone you are feeling around CHRISTMAS TIME (we know you celebrate some other foreign non-American shit though).

  20. LL

    I am more convinced than ever that Britney is retarded. Maybe just mildly retarded, but retarded all the same.

    And Lindsay Lohan is just a few IQ points above her in intelligence. This is what Disney does to the people who work for it (onscreen, anyway). Either that, or Disney purposely seeks out the functionally retarded so as to keep their stars in psychological adolescence as long as possible.

  21. Holyfuck

    Hey #19,
    The fact that Mimi loves Britney Spears more than life itself might indicate that the may have an extra chromosome herself…

  22. Boston_Freek

    #19 I love you.

    Oh, and Mimi, please go the fuck AWAY already.

  23. Randal

    Just look at her smile! She’s so happy and it shows with the glow that surrounds her. Good for you girl, it’s about time you show the world the trouble you’ve left behind and the new walk forward you’ve got going on.

    Britney’s not the Circus, she’s the Lion Tamer!


  24. bop

    i like her bag and her jacket and her jeans
    if i had tons of money i would prob get my hair bleached every other day as well
    but im poor so im stuck with brown hair and im bitter at people who make moeny but have no talent or intelligence or do anything for anyone but themselves ….brtitney seems to have other people making all of her music, image and videos for her, shes just the end product.
    oh, and lindsay lohan is a so dumb and annoying…i would really give anything to be able to have an all out fight with that girl, i would beat her ass.

  25. mimi loves Randal

    Hey Randal. Are you doing anything this holiday season? I thought maybe we could exchange e-mails and perhaps hook up for a little Pete Wentz/Ashlee Simpson style action!

  26. Onmyradar

    I love 14′s comment. Cutie sounds adorable ha ha! I’m glad that you love your hat so much.

  27. Onmyradar

    I love 14′s comment. Cutie sounds adorable ha ha! I’m glad that you love your hat so much.

  28. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  29. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  30. Clee Clee

    I wish her the best because I really do think that she has serious mental health issues but that outfit is beyond hideous


  32. Jen Stephenson

    Bless her heart. I don’t think most people realize that she is barely functionally retarded (definition: Mental deficiency characterized by stumbling speech, disconnection with reality, and unrestrained ego, yet behavior which is accepted by at most 50% of the population.) She has always needed a constant adult presence in her life and the ones that are around her just whore her out like a cash cow. She doesn’t know any differerent. I think it is sad that people want her to be this slutty little lip-syncher that tours and looks cute. She really needs to be in Louisiana leading a low-key life with adult supervision to reduce her scope of damage to her childrens lives and her own.

  33. Sabo

    I’m pretty sure her zipper’s down…

  34. GG1000

    You know, I’m glad for her that at least she doesn’t appear to be Bat$^(t crazy any more, but there unfortunately, there ain’t no cure for dumb@ss.

  35. allen

    She still looks awesome.
    Check out some of her photo albums:

  36. LivingInJapan

    Not all of us have tiny cars.

  37. mimi


    It’s not my fault you have large breasts, tiny penis and huge deep ass. I’ll pray for you, you ignorant slob.

    PS – Next time you tell someone your life stories, the glory and the failures and all, don’t turn on them and start attacking them. I wouldn’t have revealed the truth about you if you hadn’t turned on me, you cowardly lion.

  38. J.L. Spears

    Ya’ll misundersoood when she sayid tiny cocks, ya’lls thought she sayid cars. Har har har!

    Everyone knows them thar oriental guys have tiny cocks!

  39. herbiefrog

    apparently most amereicans
    dont even have a passport

    they think going abroad is like cancun…

    japan is like an alien society
    you cant even read or spell the signs…

    if you havent been there…

    …you *really* have no idea

    and can they stop killing my f*cking whales ?

  40. herbiefrog

    p.s. #20

    we already saved you

    give us a brteak, etc

  41. sally

    COU GAR LURE.C O M —Total Free site for women and Young Men. It matchmakes for charming and mature women as well as attractive men.Search for what you want, find more than you dreamed.

  42. I love 14′s comment. Cutie sounds adorable ha ha! I’m glad that you love your hat so much.

  43. More than ever I believe that Britney is retarded. Perhaps only mildly retarded, but all the same retarded.

    Lindsay Lohan and just a few IQ points above him in intellect. The Disney people who do it (onscreen, anyway) is to work for. Either that or deliberately try out Disney’s functionally retarded teenage psychological as possible so as long as their stars live.

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