Britney Spears loses custody of her kids

September 18th, 2007 // 229 Comments
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Well, it finally happened – sort of. Due to the claims of Britney Spears’ former bodyguard Tony Barretto, Kevin Federline has been given temporary custody of the children. FOX News reports:

Commissioner Scott Gordon will order the boys, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James, turned over to Federline based on information that Los Angeles Family Court received over the weekend about Spears, the sources told FOXNews.com.
During Monday’s custody hearing, Spears’ former bodyguard accused the pop star of having “issues of nudity and drug use” since she returned from rehab.

You know we all joked about this day for months, but seriously, there’s nothing funny about this. Not even the fact that Kevin Federline is considered a morally sound and intelligent human being capable of rearing two children. Nothing humorous there. Nor is there anything remotely funny that Britney has now lost her lawyer, manager, and kids. I just don’t see the comedy there. Thank goodness Lindsay Lohan and her dad are prayi — Hahaha! I’m sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. Do you think Hell is as hot as they say it is? I’m just curious. Will they let me bring a cooler?

superficial

  1. Coolers are not permitted, but for $50, I’ll hook you up with your own reserved parking space at the bar. And I have a friend who can hook you up with some prime real estate in Hell. Bring your sunblock.

  2. Minxx

    She won’t commit suicide. She is waaaay too self centered for that. She might try it in order to get MORE media attention, but that’s all.

    Ummm #26, I don’t think #14 was referring to an actual abortion. It’s sarcasm. She didn’t want the kids. Remember, they are her ‘mistakes’ and this way she gets rid of them without having to kill them.

  3. shankyouverymuch

    Tough break man- tough break!

  4. Proud Conservative

    After 9/11 we’ve got no time for this crap. Take your sympathetic feelings for these losers and shove them up your asses. The parents are two prime examples of the cultural rot that’s weakening this country, and the kids will grow up as typical celebrity kids – dumb, spoiled, breaking the law and getting away with it. All this liberal weeping “think about the children! think about the children!” makes me sick. I’ll save those feelings for the soldiers’ children who can’t see their parents either – they deserve sympathy. If you can’t tell the difference, you’re part of the problem.

  5. If you ask me YOU GUYS are the retarded ones. UGH! This is sooo stupid. Wat is the point of takling to such looooosers? Talking about kids that way. Idiots.

  6. I like to eat poop. Does anybody feel like taking a dump in my mouth?

  7. Anyway sexyyyytime calls, so if you want to get off cum to my site and register.

  8. Just a jiggle 'ho

    Aww, come on Brit loves kids. She really likes them battered and fried…

  9. craigj

    Oh yeah … I can hear how it all went down.

    “I want to be famous”
    “But you have no talent”
    “I want to be famous”
    “Well you look pretty good”
    “I want to be famous”
    “We can cover up your voice with studio trickery”
    “I want to be famous”
    “She can dance a little”
    “I want to be famous”
    “OK, you can be famous, but after 8 years we’re going to take away your quote unquote career in music and film. You’ll be the punchline to a thousand jokes. You’ll have 2 kids with a slimeball who’s going to take all your money. You’ll be estranged from your family, shave your head in public, be photographed without underwear and attempting to beat up a truck with an umberalla. After a disasterous comeback attempt you’ll lose the kids before the last ditch comeback attempt in porno, only to die in a blazing car wreck in the backwoods of Louisianna, drunk on frozen margaritas and cheap cocaine, as you felate your latest Hollywood rent-a-boy-toy”
    “I want to be famous”
    “Sign here. No, in blood please. It’s our policy.”

  10. After taking a dump, I smell my fingers. Is that normal?

  11. Just a jiggle 'ho

    @60, yes, that’s normal, as is licking them to get the corn off.

  12. californiadreamin'

    It’s kind of a shocker. Kind of not. .

  13. Darth Hater

    If she has a drug problem, shouldn’t she be a stick figure like all the hollywood cokeheads? Oh NM I forgot they don’t eat Cheetos by the pallet in Hollywood.

  14. Spanky

    #60 Were your parents brother and sister ? Or did your mom just drink alot during pregnancy?

  15. Proud Conservative2

    Dear “Proud Conservative”-

    It’s elitist assholes like you that give people the wrong impression of what REAL conservatives are about.
    Fuck Hollyweird and their limo-liberal-kumbaya-singing-save-the-whales-fuck-a-tree-for-peace bullshit…….But their children are still just children…whether they’re born of GI parents or the likes of Twitney and Fed-ex.

    Stop being a prick in conservatism’s name.

    ~A REAL proud conservative

  16. BladAsBritney

    Better sieze those kids quick before Brit gets hungry.

  17. californiadreamin'

    My rock bottom was jumping on the scale yesterday morning. Kids still here check, dog still here, check, mortgage paid, check. Cheetos? gone.

  18. Ascil

    Those 2 are unfit to be parents! The victims are the kids.. just look at em..soooo innocent! I don’t think neither party deserves to be called DAD or MOM!!!!!

  19. Haywood Jablowme

    A kid that age should not look like Wilfred Brimley. It’s just not right.

  20. annie Rexia

    Hey 40? That means a lot. Especially for someone that dresses thier Parrot up like a pimp. And YOUR calling ME a loser? I bet you knit toaster cozzys in your spare time as well. Fuckin’ retard.

  21. Huh… ooh i’ve been spoofed how cleva… NOT

  22. my comment

    #59 summed it up well.

    nothing more to be said here folks.

  23. LightenUp

    #65 – your daughter is a lesbian and your son is growing pot behind the garage. I’d tell you what your wife is doing but I can’t. She keeps walking hand in hand with your gardener into your bathroom. I know you don’t want to hear any of this before you head to the airport bathrooms for some gay sex but hell somebody had to tell you.

  24. Matthew

    wow john lennon’s song says it all Instant Karma is going to get you and for birt lose her kids..she needs help and for k-fed 31 said it shar said he is a good father yes i made fun of him time to time but he is a good father his first two kids…remember the pool party for his sons i hope they be safe

  25. bernard fleming

    Unfortunately we won’t see her doing slutty cheap porn to pick up a few bucks for drugs.

    Not because she won’t eventually run out of money, but because she’s been fucking everything that moves for free, for so long, everyone who is interested in seeing her screw already has.

    Most heard phrase in her home movies….ewwww, thats a nasty gash you got there.

  26. @74

    Are you retarded?

  27. PC

    Those of you who wish death upon those children are real assholes. They are blameless in all of this. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

  28. LightenThis

    #73

    I take it you’re a treefucker then?
    Doesn’t that itch?

  29. #64

    I don’t know if my parents are related, but I know how they made me. I drilled a hole in the wall and watch them go at it all night. Sometimes I get a late night visitor, but daddy told me that I can’t let mother know.

  30. Political Anal-yst

    Judging by the last presidential election, #54 is a much more accurate example of a “proud conservative.”

  31. Br1t1shSlut

    Exactly #78 that’s what I think. Those otha posts were not me. Somone being stupid.

  32. lambman

    #11 – LOL, I thought the same thing….there’s only one man who can save Britney now…quick to the bat phone!

  33. Binky

    This is sad.
    Who’s going to lip-sync the toddlers to sleep now ?

  34. jrzmommy

    We’re losing sight of the real issue here: Britney is fat.

  35. Jenna

    Both of them are unfit parents. I feel bad for the kids.

    However, I’d rather see them with Kevin, he seems a bit more stable.

  36. PC

    #82

    You’re a disgusting, perverted creep. Gross. Don’t talk to me.

  37. Br1t1shSlut

    #87

    Who are you to judge me? So what if I like to steal and wear other people’s dirty underwear? You are small minded to say something is wrong until you try it.

  38. LL

    Yeah, I don’t feel bad for her, and I don’t feel too bad for the kids. At least they do have people who seem to care about them, unlike a lot of kids in the system with crack/meth whore mothers and no fathers around whatsoever.

    Britney’s a dummy. Maybe this will be the thing that straightens her out. Yeah, I know that’s a long shot, but sometimes being publicly labeled an unfit mother will help get someone’s shit together. And sometimes it just makes them into even more of a self-pitying shell of human with no redeeming value. So the next few weeks should be interesting.

  39. Mike

    #8 Jimbo, what the fuck? You have your link going to the City of Albuquerque. You from Albuquerque or what?

  40. Br1t1shS1ut

    I thought I already SAID I was being spoofed?! I did NOT say those DISGUSTING THINGS!

  41. Br1t1shS1ut

    See? That’s TWICE he or she has done it at THE SAME TIME I have posted. DUH!

  42. LL

    RE #82 “Who’s going to lip-sync the toddlers to sleep now ?”

    Classic.

  43. Br1t1shS1ut

    Or maybe I did say it. I don’t know. It is so hard to know what is real and fantasy. The voices they are getting louder inside my head. I think I’m going crazy. Maybe sex with a farm animal will cure me.

  44. lola

    #60 and #61—too funny!!! made me want to shit my pants

  45. Joey

    They should retroactively abort her kids. Seriously, do we need the children of Britney Spears and K-Fed floating around the gene pool?

  46. Riotboy

    K Fed don’t do diapers yo!

    /Popozao!

  47. Court Reporter

    What actually happened was the judge was shown a clip of Britney’s VMAs performance and he immediately said “take that fat fuck’s tardkids away!”. So yeah, she’s fat and the kids are tards, that’s the official ruling.

  48. @90 What the fuck are you talking about? My link says “www” Your web browser redirects you to your companies home page. Now we all know where you work.

  49. realist

    Sorry, I don’t belong to the kid-worship cult. We shouldn’t be wasting resources on these 2 visibly mentally retarded boys. It doesn’t matter who they go to, they won’t amount to anything anyway. The courts have better things to do.

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