Britney Spears lies to Matt Lauer

June 12th, 2006 // 147 Comments
britney-spears-matt-lauer.jpg

In an interview with Matt Lauer to air on Thursday, Britney Spears denies rumors she has Kevin Federline living in the basement and insists she’s a good mom.

In the interview with Lauer, Spears defended her parenting skills following the outrage sparked earlier this year when photographers snapped her driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with baby Sean on her lap. “I can’t go anywhere without someone judging me. … I did it with my dad. I’d sit on his lap and I drive. We’re country,” the Louisiana native said. “I know I’m a good mom,” she added.

I’m pretty sure Britney’s dad didn’t sit her on his lap when she was 5 months old and let her drive the car. They can barely hold their own head up at that age, let alone have the motor skills to operate an automotive vehicle. 5 years old I can understand, but not 5 months. Either Britney Spears is a lying whore or her dad has somehow topped her as the worst parent in America. Although judging from the picture I’m going to assume Sean Preston was just using the powers of Satan to control her mind.

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  1. Proteon

    Hopefully all of you award winning folks are typing up your hate for Brit (when you could be hating Matt Lauer) with your children gathered around you safely strapped into all manner of harneses and your loving spouses sitting beside you.

    HAHAHA!! That’s the funniest thing I’ve said in like 5 minutes.

  2. Dr.Rokter

    #51 I’ll have you know the “Best in Show” awards I’ve won for my cock are not something I would discuss in front of my children.

  3. jane's eyre

    If that’s true, then that really sucks. For you.

  4. jane's eyre

    That’s not aimed at you, Doc.

  5. rottnpagan

    DAMIEN!

  6. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I’ve won many awards for child safety because I always use protection.

  7. Icognito79

    Hm, now that I think of it her hair is probably made of toxic materials. keep the kid away from her head.

  8. PelvicBoogie

    My dad did the same thing, but I was probably 8 or 9 years old, and he did about 120 mph. Maybe because he was too cheap to take us to Six Flags. He also used to beat my ass with a belt when I f’ed up, and we all rode around loose in the back of a pickup truck.

    We also used to play with firecrackers in elementary school and have roman candle fights when we got older. I can’t count the number of times I climbed to the top of a tree or built a makeshift ladder and climbed up on top of our garage when I was young.

    You know why? Cuz nobody gave a shit, and everyone still believed in natural selection. I spent most of my childhood with zero supervision. As long as I was home by dark, that’s all anybody cared about.

    I’ll supervise my kids, thank you, because enough stuff happens by accident without trying to provoke it. By her logic, if her father molested and beat her with a garden hose, she should too, because she’s country.

    I wasn’t aware country was interchangeable with stupid. Fine, maybe I suspected it, but it’s still no excuse.

    Then again, maybe SPF is the designated driver.

  9. angel_dust

    For the record, being from Louisiana and “country” does not make someone white trash. The fact that she whores herself out for money, is married to a sorry sack of shit, and isn’t trying to do anything to correct these problems is what makes her white trash.

  10. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    59 – As a representative of the state of Louisiana, I must decree that being from Louisiana and calling yourself ‘country’ places you in the upper percentile in likelihood of being white trash. The other percentage is black trash.

  11. Also – to add to the interesting news today are the first pictures of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline together again which is conveniently after this interview with Matt Lauer where she claimed her marriage was doing excellent

    http://www.derekhail.com/2006/06/12/britney-spears-allows-kevin-federline-near-his-child/

    Is it just me or does it look like Kevin hasn’t showered in days and wishes he were as dirty as he was before the make over?

  12. jane's eyre

    Anyone ever notice that Britney’s got an awfully piggy profile?

    “Baa-Ram-Ewe, Baa-Ram Ewe! To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true. Baa-Ram-Ewe!”

  13. angel_dust

    I am also a representative of the state of Louisiana (northern aka country) but I have a college degree, well paying job, and a nice home. I am considered country because this home sits on 220 acres of farm land. That is used to raise cattle and show horses.

    When someone is referred to as country here it means that they also live on some type of farm land and actually contribute to the agriculture industry.

    As stated above there is a difference between being ‘country’ and being trash (of any color).

  14. TaiTai

    #58 ha ha, I am reading your post and thinking you are probably about my age, as I did all the same things you are discussing. Those were the days, as they say. It’s amazing the things that are verboten these days that were common practice when we were kids. And now I live in a foreign country where the same safety practices in the US are not common. Every single day I see children riding on motor scooters with their parents, without helmets — children probably 2 or 3 years old. It is shocking to me, but there is nothing out of the ordinary about it here. It is interesting to me, since they are living like we did 20 or 30 years ago — not sure which ones of us have the right idea. Sometimes I think we overdo it in the US with our overprotectiveness, but when you see an infant riding between his two parents on a motorcycle and sidecar you think maybe we have the right idea. Got to be some kind of happy medium? I do think Americans seem to forget that when we were kids in the ’60s and ’70s and probably even early ’80s, there was no such thing as car seats. And when daddy said, “Hold this,” he was lighting a firecracker. (THANK GOD). But hey, I must be “country.”

  15. TaiTai

    Whoa, sorry you guys, I just realized it sounded like I was defending Britney and that was totally not my intent!

  16. Live long and prosper…
    Manny probably taught SP the Trekkie sign as some sort of good luck mantra. Doesn’t seem to be working though. Britney’s still his mom and K-Fed is still daddy. (This week at least.)

  17. IFuckingHateYou

    Britney was 15 when her daddy let her sit on his lap while driving – and by driving, she really meant fucking daddy in the car while he was driving to the liquor store. At least he tapped that ass before it got fat, ugly and Federlined.

  18. tsarinaamanda

    @51-

    Why would we hate Matt Lauer? HE at least seems to have some class, unlike Shitney Britney. And there IS a difference between being overprotective and being a total fucktard who drives around with your kid on your lap, almost drops it because you’re wearing too long jeans that get tangled in your 4 inch platform sandals, or puts it incorrectly in its car seat because you’re too lazy and stupid to follow the simple directions written RIGHT ON the damn thing. And just because people did it years ago doesn’t make it right. They burned people at the stake years ago because of their religious beliefs, is that still acceptable today? We evolve and learn as a race, and child safety is one area where we have improved. Anyone who is dumb enough to do what she does, and repeatedly, deserves to have their kid taken away. But like I said earlier, the worst thing is that she absolutely REFUSES to take any responsibility for her actions, she just blames it on the paparazzi, or the nanny, or whatever. She is a shitty parent, yes, people DO make mistakes, but she has made SO many in such a short period of time, and she refuses to admit it.

  19. jane's eyre

    64
    I understand your point, but as has been pointed, cars didn’t have airbags back then, people drive way faster, and there are loads more aggro drivers, so I think it would be more dangerous doing that today than it would have been when you (or I) were kids.

  20. PelvicBoogie

    #64 Probably so. I remember my mom driving, and my dad putting me in charge of getting him another beer from the cooler. Way before open container. And jousting with trash can lids and tree branches on bikes. Way before helmet laws. Which sucked for the neighbor who’d been picking on my brother, because I jammed my branch in his front spokes and watched him do a faceplant on the asphalt.

  21. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    63 – I live in Monroe. Ha ha! You white trash slut!

  22. herbiefrog

    #18 hi guys :)

  23. tsarinaamanda

    @43-

    So just because she’s rich, that makes her able to care for a child? I would rather have my tax dollars pay for CPS to take this kid and place it in a home where it might actually have the chance to be a normal child, instead of a scumbag like its father, or a white trash harlot like its mother, or a spoiled little rich twat like Parasite Hilton or Brandon Davis. I wouldn’t be surprised if she kept it and raised it to see it in jail in 20 years. So, basically, our tax dollars are going to end up paying for it one way or another, if we do it now, it just *might* have a chance for a useful, productive life, but if we do it later, I guarantee it will be too late.

  24. Sarcastikus

    Yeah, she’s made some mistakes. Who hasn’t? But Jeez, leave her alone! If I was being harassed by idiots with cameras I’d probably get flustered and make mistakes too in the process of trying to escape from the assholes. And as for the look on Sean Preston’s face – well, he’s looking toward the photographer and that’s a “fuck you” look if I ever saw one.

  25. Britney spears will become the news Paris Hilton… star with the unemployment which pays very well !!

    http://www.lezlife.com

  26. TaiTai

    @69 (ha ha, 69) yes but you know there are totally not any air bags on a motor scooter and damn those kids seem to do OK. Oh and isn’t an air bag better than a steering wheel or a dashboard? I’m just sayin…

    Totally relating to the “riding in the back of a pickup truck” thing from the previous post. That was considered primo recreation when I was a kid. And there sure ain’t any airbags back there. My brain damage is minimal. I can still spell at least, and know the difference between your and you’re; and its and it’s. That is my post-pickup claim to fame.

  27. jane's eyre

    77
    Ha! Knowing when to use “its” and “it’s”, etc. is something that a certain “highly intelligent, educated, and generally better than everyone else” tree-monikered poster on here can claim.

  28. jane's eyre

    *can’t claim*

  29. ChickenScratch

    #61, you need to warn us the next time you put a link of Kevin looking like that on here…I almost shit myself because he scared me so bad.

    Other observations:

    Britney has a stroller finally (but the boy is still being carried)

    That baby doesn’t seem to be growing (he’s looked the same in every picture the last 6 months or so)

    There are two certain people who have posted on here, and alas, they are not screaming and fighting with eachother…we have made some progess.

    Sidenote: I might need the two of you in the battlefield, if you run out of ammo, you can just scratch out the eyes of the Iraqi’s.

  30. Jacq

    Anyone see the latest pics of Brit? She’s finally pushing a stroller!! You go girl!

  31. jane's eyre

    #61
    Is Kevin prairie-doggin’ it or something?

  32. I used to sit on my Dad’s lap and “drive” when I was a kid, too. Of course, the car was parked on our driveway at the time.

  33. jane's eyre

    #76
    Digypoke, juste si vous savez, votre anglais ne fait pas de sens. Ceci ne fait pas probablement de sens ou, puisque j’utilise un traducteur de langage. Donc ceci pourrait

  34. ChickenScratch

    Pardon?

  35. jane's eyre

    And no, I can’t speak French.

  36. jane's eyre

    I was just letting Digypoke know that the posting with the help of a language translator isn’t working.

  37. ChickenScratch

    I just threw that in there to be funny, but after it posted, it wasn’t funny anymore…

  38. tsarinaamanda

    @75-

    She gets NO sympathy from me. She spent her whole life desperately seeking fame, and now that she’s got it, it’s too hard for her? Tough tit. She’s got millions of dollars to make it all better, and she KNOWS that the paparazzi is going to stalk her, so if she was smart, she’d leave the kid home instead of dragging it all over hell and back and putting it in a potentially “dangerous” situation. She just wants to blame someone else for her failure as a parent. The paparazzi aren’t going to kill your father and rape your mother, they just want pictures. Hell, they have to make a living just like the rest of us, and leeching off the biggest no talent famewhore leech of them all is a-ok with me. She’s just a stupid trailer park skank who fucked up majorly 3 times: first by marrying K-Fed, then by having this mongoloid kid, and lastly by getting pregnant AGAIN with ANOTHER kid she will drag around like a fashion accessory. They need to take that kid away, along with the new one as soon as it’s born, and then spay her and castrate K-Fed. Then dump them both on a deserted island and let them fight to the death, and film it. That would more than make up for her useless life and her 2 little accidents.

  39. herbiefrog

    #47 ok

    ish…

  40. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I want to have sex with Britney Spears and in place of a penis within the intercourse there will be a big Boudin sausage. Then I will put it on a cracker and make her eat it while I massage her bunions. Just thought ya’ll would like to know.

  41. herbiefrog

    #50
    loved it uma :)

  42. “We’re country.” No shit, Brit. As if going barefoot to a public restroom, marrying the wigger king K-Fag, and addiction to Frito-Lay products didn’t tip us off. And for the third time – has anyone ever seen that kid smile? His cherubic face is nothing more than a bowl of discontent. I bet she doesn’t change his diapers but once a day.

  43. angel_dust

    71 – Wow, you aren’t far from me; I am from Ruston. I don’t mind you calling me a slut, but the white trash just goes to far. LOL

  44. Jacq

    #61 – I don’t know what you’re talking about. Kev-kev looks like the epitome of happiness in those photos.

  45. herbiefrog

    #79
    did
    we

    aprrove

    that adjustment?
    : ) ) )

  46. PelvicBoogie

    Well, in a couple of years she can do a cover of I Was Country When Country Wasn’t Cool.

    And then the guy will tell her to shut the hell up and get on with the handjob, he isn’t paying her to sing.

  47. mrs.t

    Is Sean Preston flashing a gang sign in that photo?

  48. endometriorama

    who doesn’t lie to matt lauer?

  49. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    94 – Hey I really think we should get together and see Missy Elliott at Gramling this weekend. I
    m a white trash slut too and you know how us white trash sluts love us some black manaconda!

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